Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you just feel sane?
No reason to why
The clouds just withhold all their rain
And you're sailing on your way...

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you want to punch everyone you meet in the face
To sort of justify your head state, and put your feet back in place?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where everything feels strange?
Like nothing is original;
And passing thoughts cant be tamed?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you.....where you just don't really know how you feel?
Those days seem to be the ones when everyone asks if you're okay
And you are
But the more that you're asked;
The more it grates against the grain, driving you insane...

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you plan everything out
Write it all down
Feel confident you'll act it all out
But instead you find yourself glued to the couch?
Lounging about...
In your pants
Eating cheesy Doritos for no apparent reason?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where the suns rays penetrate and renovate
Invigorate your being
Leaving you feeling as though you can touch the highest of ceilings?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where everything doesn't go your way...
As though someone's just taken the biggest of ***** on your parade?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where everything thing happens all at once
One minute your napping
The next your arms are flapping
Getting stressed and restless
Relentless flitting decisions causing sticky dispositions
Narrowing tunnel vision
Hearing that's constantly shifting
Contracting and relaxing
Entangling webs and...

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you just wanted to write about it?

I am made of dreams,
the world is not for me

_everything _ that's not me
I am the life that I will never live
or I'll ever be
In my head, I'm not me

In my head, I'm some person I met
or I'm with a girl I really like,
a careless 13 year old with lots of homework
and nothing to do on a sunday afternoon

Meeting everyone until I will find me

i don’t want to write anything
i wan to lay in bed and
do nothing
some words creep into my head
i write some down
i don't need to treat you anymore or any less
i moved to los angeles and shattered my view
i forgot my childhood
a few years after that
saturdays mowing the lawn and i missed a blade of grass
and it all came down to the sound of 12 screams
i learned not to make any sounds
alone is better
i am the worst case in town
i watched people from afar
it feels like a play for an audience of one
the meaning of pain
getting the **** beat out of you
made me want to learn to type
books are the only voices that taught me where i could go
i can’t feel that way any more
i'll keep writing

The silence has become deafening
Encased
Submurged
Surrounded
By the silence
The chaos is not ceasing or changing its course
Destined to whirl around me
Twisting and pulling me in ways i could never explain
Pushing and pushing
And pushing
Until i cant hold myself anymore
My stregnth has shattered
Within the silence
Into a thousand tiny pieces i lay strewn on the floor

A sky of blue above
Miles of dirt below
A world of everything between
Beyond that?
I don't know

One foot in front of the other
I stumble through existence
When I began I never imagined
I would travel such a distance

Caring too much about the wrong things
Not enough about what I should
Mixed up from every angle
Feel bad but am told I'm good

Friends fade further from me
As the years steal memories
Moments indistinct and grey
Wishing I could make time freeze

Take me back to certainty
Before life got so off track
When the world was full of color
Instead of shades of black

Now depression is my ball and chain
Following wherever I go
Heavy and awkward to carry
Have no choice but move slow

It is easier to just stand still
Than to pull with all my might
So everything changes around me
While I waste away night after night

I see smiles on faces all around
But when I paint one to match
It just doesn't look the same
And it wills me to detach

Hope used to sit in the palm of my hand
Now I grab and it's not there
In it's place is a sticky substance
I've come to learn is despair

Fall apart over and over
Every time I manage to sew my seams
Doesn't take long for a stitch to break
And out pours joy in little streams

Until I am left deflated and empty
Wondering where I went wrong
I could conquer my misery
But I've found I'm not that strong

Wading through a sea of distress
Shore further with each crashing wave
So I carry on way over my head
Too deep for anyone else to save

Whenever I feel miserable
No matter where or how or why
I look for my happy place
And wave the world goodbye

I plan before I'm losing it
To find this place and rest instead
It's always there and quite a blessing
This happy space is in my head

But letting go of suffering
Is mostly easier said than done
Then thinking about my happy place
Seems the hardest thing under the sun

Changing my mood from dark to sunny
I would learn it perhaps if I could
Though I'd prefer not to do the work
And stay in my happy place for good