The silence has become deafening
Encased
Submurged
Surrounded
By the silence
The chaos is not ceasing or changing its course
Destined to whirl around me
Twisting and pulling me in ways i could never explain
Pushing and pushing
And pushing
Until i cant hold myself anymore
My stregnth has shattered
Within the silence
Into a thousand tiny pieces i lay strewn on the floor

A sky of blue above
Miles of dirt below
A world of everything between
Beyond that?
I don't know

One foot in front of the other
I stumble through existence
When I began I never imagined
I would travel such a distance

Caring too much about the wrong things
Not enough about what I should
Mixed up from every angle
Feel bad but am told I'm good

Friends fade further from me
As the years steal memories
Moments indistinct and grey
Wishing I could make time freeze

Take me back to certainty
Before life got so off track
When the world was full of color
Instead of shades of black

Now depression is my ball and chain
Following wherever I go
Heavy and awkward to carry
Have no choice but move slow

It is easier to just stand still
Than to pull with all my might
So everything changes around me
While I waste away night after night

I see smiles on faces all around
But when I paint one to match
It just doesn't look the same
And it wills me to detach

Hope used to sit in the palm of my hand
Now I grab and it's not there
In it's place is a sticky substance
I've come to learn is despair

Fall apart over and over
Every time I manage to sew my seams
Doesn't take long for a stitch to break
And out pours joy in little streams

Until I am left deflated and empty
Wondering where I went wrong
I could conquer my misery
But I've found I'm not that strong

Wading through a sea of distress
Shore further with each crashing wave
So I carry on way over my head
Too deep for anyone else to save

Whenever I feel miserable
No matter where or how or why
I look for my happy place
And wave the world goodbye

I plan before I'm losing it
To find this place and rest instead
It's always there and quite a blessing
This happy space is in my head

But letting go of suffering
Is mostly easier said than done
Then thinking about my happy place
Seems the hardest thing under the sun

Changing my mood from dark to sunny
I would learn it perhaps if I could
Though I'd prefer not to do the work
And stay in my happy place for good

Deep answers to deep.
As I answer my self who pays the mort-gage
theoretical spin off ona mobius strip
from who uses war
on reality as art, thus artificial, officially
authorized use for brainless mortal minds
projecting
re- ah, rhea, lovely
-- in the future, to the reader
-- use these mentally any where these signal
¿:-,? something more is needed --
-- answers must follow preceding quest ions
not sparked piezo wise
Brakes. Sparks, , more than enough.
ok
Flint to steel, steel to towers, to antennae to now.

Kapow. we have always imagined radio and TV.

We think in ways Issac Newton never did imagine.

Jiggle the prism dangling from my partner's ear.
Rhea bhering all the gods, and there, errors
began, gin being spiritually essential
to geth to gather sense
signals sortive
suggestive

-yes, whatifery, we have that, how much do you wush?

One more breath.
Why?

Why do you ask?
We have a rule.
No wasted breath. Make every signal clear.

The next idle word we speak won't wo not
be spoken as once is wont for any unrefined term.

Time out. Selah. Take a thought.

- we have no angst, thus no anxious thoughts
- should you be shopping for such,
- those are outlawed here,
- theives honor, liars pledged allegiance-con carne
-
- aye, ai, no-- we as words in warring times make
- peace, no concarne mind heresy, see your self
-
do a little out of body experience imagining
you can do it,
melt into your chair, that
is the easiest position to begin
facing forward and falling with no fear,
until
something unnamed as yet no words may be
in the beginning of beginning your
agreement to be mindful of me,
in your secret you stash, your hidden power
valued in talents, specie solid real esse state being
omygoooooooooo
djasay I may break into song, as I see
where this is headed headed up to see
from below what an *** hat I am, at times
out of body low
low as a JD Sumner solo.

A drunken god declared there is, as in
so be it
wine that makes glad.
so be it
wine that makes glad the core of man-made
in my image, goodness of happiness in any time

One more breath,

where does love begin
in your own head only source
in the universe