We were definitely something
We are this unlabeled and undefined mess
We had a relationship worth dreaming
There was no 'us' but we had realness

What we had was called almost
We shared what people desire
We tried to last with our outmost
But distance extinguished the fire

We had what some envied
We were perfectly unlabeled and unknown
We were bulletproof but we still bleed
I wasn't yours and I couldn't call you my own

What do I call you, how do I explain us?
You're my ex something, my ex almost, my ex unstable
My ex unnamed, my ex unknown, my ex anonymous
To put it simply, since we are undefined, you are my "x variable"

How odd is it?
That I feel like the universe's center
Whenever we're together

Isn't it unusual?
How I feel completely grand
Whenever you clasp my hand

I find it too peculiar
How you manage to make me feel spectacular
And it's too extraordinary
Just how much you make me happy

But strange doesn't even begin to cover
How much I feel like I don't matter
Whenever we aren't together

I am addicted to your warmness
Mesmerized by your tenderness
I am simply attracted to your being
But my heart is hindered by something

You show me two different faces
That tears my decision to pieces
What should I really feel?
Which side of you is real?
The one you show when it's just us two
Or when people surround you
The one who pacifies my nightmares and demons
Or my every doubt and every fear's manifestation

Am I just a distraction?
A source of attention?
Do I matter?
Or do you only think of me when we're together?
Do you only remember me when you crave for comfort?
When you're lonely, in need of love and support?
Does it even matter who gives you warmth?

Answer me truthfully...
Do you really love me?
Honestly...
What do you think of me?

I do not love you
Nor am I in love with you
I honestly have no feelings for you
Yet...

But what will happen?
Once I've completely fallen?
How will you act? Which face would you show?
Who the person is and which is the mask, let me know
Tell me the truth about the face behind
It doesn't matter how nice or unkind
I need to know which is real
I need to sort out how I feel
I want you all for myself
But I don't think you even know your true self
So for now please stay away from me
Because I'm on the verge of falling completely

Our accidental encounter
That inserted your life in my existence as if its the most natural thing in the wold

I should have stayed unknown
And
You should have remained anonymous

Sitting on the bathroom floor
Getting drizzled by a substitute for rain
I'm scrubbing my unclean wounds
In the hope of washing away the pain

Finally leaving the lavatory
I felt the electronically generated frosted air
I turned on the lights
No one was there

I moved to the bed
Where the pillows lie
As I tuck myself to sleep
I started to wonder why

Caressing my face
With a damp cloth
No tears fell
But who would have thought

As I learned the meaning of
The word treachery
In the dark
You abandoned me

I can't believe that it's you whom I used to write for
And if ever you knew
Of the countless words and that I'm still writing more
What would you do?