I'm not one to judge.
Hard to hold a grudge.
I promise,  anything you want to say
Will be safe with me.
I know it's hard to trust.
They left you in the dust.
But don't let that stop you
From trying one more time.

If love was not hard
It would not be rewarding
Trophies must be earned

"why are we always trying so hard?" my eyes shift towards my mother, and i say "when we are going to die anyways."  
"beti," says my mother as she walks up to me and sits next to me holding me in her arms, she continues "it's because most of the time we're striving so hard isn't for ourselves, it's for the people we love."

I’m sorry I can’t bring you into this world
Wether you were a boy or a girl I’m not ready
My spirit is low and heart heavy
I don’t love myself and it’s unfair
It’s selfish to bring you into a world of despair
I’m a drug addict trying to find peace
In a miserable place where no where feels like home
I’m trying so hard but I still feel like I’m on my own
I wish I could be happy and give you a life worth living
But I’m stuck in a broken tea cup that won’t stop spinning
I wish I could get off and give you my love.
But I’m too young to bring you into a world I’m so unsure of

1.

Pain
when felt
hard enough, ceases
to be just that:
painful





2.

The sensation of
pain sometimes seems awfully
pleasant to my bones






3.

A sting makes my life
bend in beautiful
imperfection


I sip it
like a lollipop





4.

It's like the
grate of yearning
is more pleasant than
the earning,
tasting,
breathing
the dream.

I will not carry
any unnecessary weight,
because the world is heavy enough.

I will not compare myself to others,
and feel guilty about my shortcomings
because each experience is unique.

I will not let failure consume me
with guilt, but I will carry the anxiety
because I do want to be better.

I will no longer torture myself
because I feel I'm supposed too.

I will allow myself to experience forgiveness from myself.

It wasn’t easy,
The stars know it wasn’t **** easy.
Loving you, being with you,
It was different.
Sometimes it was like early flowers in late winter,
Sometimes it was like buds that just won't bloom.

It was like how the sun must feel,
When the clouds start to pour.
A little confused,
A little hurt,
Maybe a little angry.
But that doesn’t stop her from loving the sky,
Her foundation,
Her home.

Even when the clouds poured down on us,
I was still there.
Front row at every show,
First through the door of every party.

Somehow it just worked,
Like mismatched stars forming stunning constellations,
A little strange,
A little uncertain,
Maybe a little unconventional,
But it was real.

Ana

I'm going to take all of my scars
And build a highway to the stars.
I'll learn how to love myself
And stop living like an elf
Stuck on a shelf.
It will be the hardest journey
Of my life, no doubt.
But in the end, I'll find something
Worth writing about.