I close my eyes and wish it didn't happen
All the flashbacks starts coming
In the darkness I see nothing then it all starts fading
This phantom in my head hinders me to rest
And my pillowcase drenched in tears, a mess

Something tells me to end it all
Engrave the curves of his lips on my wrist
With the bottle of wine and my fist
marks the walls of sorrow, a melancholic symphony
coming out from the burrow where the Phantom's beast lays

Black is the color of my walls of sorrow
Everything hides in the corner of the shadow
No mirror, no portrait, no candlelight
Nothing is visible in the twilight

Years of inevitable madness, this Phantom won't vanish
It feeds on my sadness, my misery - its fetish
Nobody knows how gloomy it is, lying at night with a sadist
No soul validates the tears I hide
‘coz all they know is that I'm fine inside

If I could tell you,
every thing you want to know,
I would,
but my walls are to hard to take down,
but every time,
you speak to me,
they crumble to the ground,
and i hope, you'll be by my side,
when death succumbs to me...
beautiful boy who cares,
you sing a song that only I can hear,
I cant get enough of you,
the happy little messages you send to me,
i cant explain,
you aren't like other boys.
oh, beautiful boy,
I've never felt this way before!
all the other girls and  boys I've been with,
i never truly love this hard,
you understand my darkness,
you under stand my deadly thoughts,
Oh walk through the strawberry fields with me,

saying nothing is real,
walking on starlight and dancing in moon dust,
your  hair capturing the shine of the night,
i want to give you the universe,
and hold your hand,
falling through the sun by your side,
capturing the light of your eyes,
picture yourself,
falling through time,
what thoughts will flow through your mind?
your hands held in mine,
in synchronized meditation,
open up your third eye,
were your atoms next to mine?
did our souls entwine?
picture yourself,
laying in a field of grass,
with your head next to mine,
watching the butterflies glide,

the seasons are changing,
are you still next to me?
with the leaves off the trees,
this isn't electric,
this is calm,
with explosive colors,
i'm not falling,
i'm walking,
i'm willingly going to you...
are you walking to me?
do you picture it too?

A Zippo lighter with a smoker's cough,
propositions the ladybug
clinging to a flannel pocket,

You can always trust a tealight
to warm the neglected beetles,
that cling to your chest.

this Ritual of the staring contest.
attention behind the curtain:

When You blink at the Rorschach shadows
tell me, they are not mailboxes.

The spirits linger; we stumble into entanglement

birch trees weaving
baskets from our branches

I'm known to cave on integrity, for the taste of freckles,
flickering tealights in the hearthstone, with a smokers cough.

I believed we had something,
Now I know it was my delusion .

INT - A DARK TEENAGE BEDROOM - SUMMER - NIGHT

THE WHOLE WORLD BERATES IN UPON THIS ROOM. It is deafening and, perhaps, imaginary.

   Sits Lonely A Teen / Either Gender / Unclothed

          TEEN
    (a mental stream)

Showing off blood
I call out a name
It feigns at being blameless
(a practice quite heartless)
I call out a name
Yet the response is similar
It fades out of marking
Kettle sounds ;
the window
beyond; night
beyond; weather
the pattern ;
no progress
I tone out a name
Yet
I am alone
On this mattress
Subject and
Canvas

I stumble in the blinding dark.
I cannot see a single mark,
Of light, of rock, of man or beast.
It seems the night will have its feast.
When suddenly a glowing light,
Emits from somewhere out of sight.

I stagger toward it, unaware,
Of a sudden thinness in the air.

A cave now seems to beckon me,
And as I enter, all I see,
Are crystals shining like the sun.
Like broken mirrors, dull are none.
My fear now seems to melt away,
And false safety is here to stay.

For suddenly I feel safe and sound,
Though I'm miles and miles below the ground.