Reminds me of the ****
That invaded me, as we
Are pushed down
By a low iron sky

Reminds me of the Sun
In the wheat fields, as men
Constricted every move
Hot breath foaming at the mouth

Reminds me of your clamp
Iron-tight, as wails
Came from every crevice
Between stacks of bodies

I am paper thin. Compressed,
Thinner than a hairsbreadth
Suspended in weightless space,
Fingers and rough cloth

A babe howls, far
Like wind, through alleyways...

Thunder claps - engine roars to life
My feet sank into the soil
Your face turned to me, pale
Rain will fall - I know

Run. You mouthed, but
No, I can't ever flee
Storm clouds, wheat stalks
Round, and round...

Your weight upon my body
Heavier than a dead cow
Your breath upon my ear
Whispered in exhilaration

I want to be your hero. Drunken wind
Screamed, and you breathed it out
As I saw, the raindrops rip
Through your gaunt cheeks

Clouds descend and bare their teeth
Down, into darkness and heat
Throat is parched
Air is stagnant -

Smoke, smoke, all smoke
Ash in my lungs...

Stayed there for millennia
Sheets of rain crashing down
Lay there until stars came out
On the black drapes of my eyes

Hazy, my vision becomes
Lungs, black as tar
Suffocation presses closer
Grip tightening on my throat

You sprawl beside me. Crimson sky
Hangs low. Damp soil between my toes
And the rumble of thunder, no,
Of the engine, in my ear

I flung myself at you
Across mere inches
Spots dancing in my eyes
Bellows ringing in my ears

Your face glimmers, pale
Through the murky waters
A shadow of an image
Long lost, long forgotten...

By the waving willow-tree
Turning your head around
Your lips cracked into a smile
For the very first time

I raced toward you
Freefalling, you float away
I took you by your hand
Roaring currents - I slacken

Your heartbeat, steady
Your pulse, beating
Your arms around my waist
Your lips against my cheek

The world heaves a sigh -
Empty sockets still
Leagues below the surface
Your hand within reach...

Like every last step
With all my strength
I reach for you
Your bony wrist

Like every first time
I fling you up
You float to the surface
While I sink down

Last embers die
As eyes close gently
I want to be your hero
For the very last time

everything around me is breathing
I can’t make it stop
the walls are breathing in and out
the floorboards are swirling in spirals
the texture of the stairs
are moving like wave currents
objects that I know for sure aren’t alive
are moving in a slow steady motion
the corners in my walls are sliding back and forth in a wobbly direction
and all I can do is sit back and watch
hoping that everything falls back into place
I know that my house is not breathing
well except for me of course
but one day that would not be the case

.

often   i am retrodden   after passing a lengthy sleep battle
day following day      i wake in and out   loftily bobbing
  nodding into conversation  and durring out          
                                 like a tiny failing electric fan
  struggling to appear present and take part
   then whirring   into a congested cumulus  

a colleague, (name slips me), sips her coffee
she dribbles her features into her colourful lap
her words become a slury chum of incoherence
(she may snap back if i have energy to retrieve her
she may  upon a whim   form another person altogether)

i have accumulated a D.S.C. (Depression Support Creature)
the opposing to what may seem                                                
                 this fella supports my depressions feature being
and monitor's my decline
fleshed out to drain me                                                          
      whilst acting as a detracting blurred vision
shaking in a drabby coat  and baring its dumbed face
i'm turned inward on drooping wealth                          
                           and rot in the anxious conglomeration
a distracted reality from reality already conquered
                         flagged and declared ;    
the phony thing that's real

.

i wake before the others                                                     
                                          betraying the family bed
conduct domestic procedure                                 
         (the sun has yet to rise and punish)
the rooms are illuminated       with the city dim
   projected from streetlight in
a dossing grain of orange                        
                   wiltered by the sheets          
 we use to cower our windows
 
in this near light i go to spread a morning meal
a tray of fruit, yogurt and breakfast biscuits
i bring it too our low living room table
but Abrupt !                                                            
   ­    there is a form   occupying the table

i scout for a spot to place my wares                            
put the tray / direct contact / the floor
                         and make a closer examination
on the table                                                            ­        
it is a soldier boy       simple      life spent out

this warrants artificial light                                      
i pull the cord on the corner lamp                      
   in a glimpse of eyes the bulb pops dead
               i know i won't meet result this way
its a brain pattern going on  i determine        
   and remove shrouding from a street view
orange wash lends  to the olive uniform
both hands hitched                                                
to his webbing   in the middle of his chest
helmet discomforts  his head turned to a side
eyes yelling a relaxed nothing                  
no surprise to his ****** features
boots that haven't even made mud yet
this is clean    but   for the blood reduction
a syrup for his presentation
no fooling  and there is.. the gun                          

the child in me and the child in him want it
he makes seventeen at most
and it is now i feel
when i see the device

war oversees
makes international the weather

hand cranked
re-imagined 35mm slides
Rough Trade posters
on the wall
Pepsi and premade sandwiches
on the counter

aperture: wide open
he sees her often at the multiplex
there she flirts
from the third row; second seat
sheer blouse
hands in elliptical motion
pointing toward
silk chiffon shells
the invite in a tilt of her mouth
lip; gloss
eyes hidden from the light

a prayer before intermission
celluloid reliquary
reveals God's plans
lest her trifling with him
cause a miss in changeover
enraging his self-regarded audience
the walk back to his car
one long montage of her lacing up