a man who is about fifty years old has been suffering from
dementia. (demented people can't remember many things anymore; and they might have a hard time to say anything.)

his name is m.

m. is a silent guy. he talks barely and doesn't tend to look at
people.

i lived together with him for eleven days. most of our time, we were hanging around, smoking cigarettes.

one day, i put some music on. by aventura. one of their songs is called "obsesion". and when m. listened to his song, he changed.

his eyes were glowing with joy.
for real.

I miss you, not as a lover.
But as the guy who would ask me how I'm doing when nobody asks.
When we would talk random things for hours and argue all of a sudden.
Yet, the next day is just another day to laugh off about other things.
And I miss you that way.

his face against mine
i sigh
he opens his eyes
he tells me what he wants
not a question
so i open mine
and turn to my side
i have to deny
what he wants
because on my mind
is another guy

I freeze two stages in
and she watches with adoration
what a catch,
in weather such as this

I know that he's happy wherever he's. He's lucky that he still have someone writing about him lol! I have promised myself not to do this but I realized that we never stop loving people. So I guess writing seldom how I feel won’t hurt. Many things have changed since we parted ways. Months after we cut our connection, I felt abandoned. So from then, I am not echoing my ache to people anymore. I found some of them unreliable. There are little things that I’ve been hiding to myself though I talk about him. And as I conceal them, they are outgrowing me already. And I have to check myself everyday if these flaws slip from my clothes.
     Time has passed and I feel like everything was just coined in a blink of an eye. The radiance he gave was still haunting. I probably need a closure to answer these things I’ve been asking myself for so long. I still wish him all the happiness in the world for him to deserve them. And if God permits, I hope he’d conspire all the roads for our paths to meet. I will be happy seeing him but I don’t know if I’m ready yet. One thing is for sure though — I won’t break my promise. I would still accompany him when we meet.