I forgot to die, and I forgot to ****
The parts I have inside that stop my being still
I forgot to hope and forgot to believe
That I have what it takes to be alive and live
I forgot - like - charcoal forgets embers
When it rains on it but always remembers
When a spark of life brings back the red it needed
To live out it's purpose, this cycle is repeated

Because it’s human nature to grow through what is painful
And it’s human nature to become forgetful
Be it man or charcoal, in order to remember
Who we're meant to be, first we must surrender
To undiscovered depths and tidal waves of letting go
Of what we're certain of so we can become more,

Most of the time,
Slowly.

All of the time,
Surely.

Light cannot and does not know who lit it or snuffed it out
Neither does it know if its light was used for good or evil
For shameless evil is more believed when seen by the blind
Whereas good hide in dark searched for by the sighted
No glory to be lit or snuffed, foolish to boast or despair
But in peace assured: grace suffices whether you burn or not
And there's no dark in good, and light's to judge the blind

Godled we far to be
Through lot to become
For what are but we
What told is the reward
How kind intended
To call by now learned
Whats to complete
Forms in divine perfect
Structures alway be
Fated the fate a blame
Or thank allknowing
In his love put our ways
Shall see the within
Town or kingdom name
House a home read
gods any name ancient
Or if rathet believe
To reason for the sense
Can however many
In fact anyone anyways
And i do, eversince
Some please to madder
Or laugh to please.
I will never stop if i can
Or to start it seems
My apologize to forget
You are not at hear
And be hand at ink pen
To write it writes be
To match loves in pain
To have much glory
As the mountains had
Perhaps oldest me
To come to close have
What to come meet
And become a forever
For taught a believe
And thought proud well
Proudest i ever been.

Can you believe
This the day
After life we lived?
Can you believe
god taught dead,
we actually killed?
Can you believe
We nailed to a cross
his hands and feet?
Can you believe
We stripped naked
Mocked, spitted on?
Can you believe
It ever be forgiven
By his father we did?
Can you believe
The one, the old
testament God, will?
Why hope (faith)

I lay coins on railoads yet
I never wait for train
for I am old enough to know
trying to survive is
dying as well.

She was the best thing
that never happened to me.
And nobody can take that
away from me. Not even her.

In this moment right now,
here you are the oldest
you ever were same time youngest you will ever be.
Life so much more to mean
Because of and death
so much less.

Through all the mud and
Mess in my eyes
she looked straight
at my soul yes it was nice
to know to still have it.

We caught the next train
going south. I asked Neil:
“Why there?” “Thats how
you get to San Miguel silly...”

As I have found myself here again while looking for God
how strange I had to of step
be one there have my fall considered out of a pocket
what seemed well until it
looked as of me that left of
mine to be: I am asking God
what is there now to be
except nights the forests of
steps done below zero by fieldwalks be too cold to sleep
by wind kept of reminded
to be looking for myself.

Searching the world for God
in a man,

as man in the sun
is

Like the gentle rain over your field

waking you up after
the long and lonely jorney,

where my roots
are, there was my tree
planted in the sun,

blooming and fruitful, dreaming

a life of a man in love
as lived for a woman so grew
as a branch that dream
a new, on the tree, into one.