There's a strange sensation
When you start to grow
And you assume no one else grows up
That everyone else's lives move slow

But then you look at them and realize
They're growing too
And the hardest part to accept is
That they're growing separately than you

It's like picking up in the same place with a different person
Because the person you know is gone
But there's still a hint of them left inside
That part of them will always carry on

That's why they say friends are friends forever
Although the closeness slowly fades
And you know they're there, but not enough
That's what we try to evade

But the thing we forget when we are young
Is that time is a force, strong like a brick wall
And the older we get, the more we realize
That time hasn't stopped, for us or at all.

I don't want to speak to you anymore.
The phone quivers violently in my hands.
I become resentful,hysterical,pained and bitter.
You have the guts to still try to act like everything is fine.
When it's not.

I need to cut you out if my life.
You've hurt me with your narcissistic  ways.
Yet I want to keep you in my life cause I think you'll change.
I know you won't.

I clenched my fingers tightly.
You drained me and my patience.
Seems you can't see over your ego for one second to realize what your words and actions have done.
I hope you wake up one day realizing you weren't the best friend to me.
If you wanted to be in my life then act like it.

Your not the hardest goodbye I had to deal with but your the gravity I need lifted off my anchored body.

i am jealous,
but please make it stop,
i know i can't be your only friend.

spare me your lies
and i'll give you my truths

windows up
walls down
in the backseat of her toyota
staring at the green fluorescent car clock
9:37
he looks over his shoulder in the passenger seat,
the boy who could breathe without inhaling
a mere party trick.
i had always wondered what it felt like to be a teen
stupid as is seems
i was sheltered once,
hidden from night rides
obscured from midnight hikes
asleep instead of the early morning mcdonald trips
my friends were more persistent on making me to eat with them
than making me exhale dancing fumes with them.
i only know the double chin grins on our snapchat stories
the rude jokes, the black ripped jeans, and snapbacks
the lime green socks that matched the stair railings
and pink sliders never looked better.
the “6:30” movies (5:30, shhh, my mom can’t know)
and the crinkling of empty water bottles in the backseat
i felt alive tonight,
even through the tough,
sushi stores and reclining movie theaters never felt more like home.
and boba stores that stay open late with neon open signs
welcome us
9:37
the “oH mY gOsH iTs a DoG” screams
the photoshoots with random men wearing fake Coach hats
the posing by wooden desks
the lights that lounge effortlessly above
encaptures our spirits and brighten them
i don’t drink, but they smoke
but tonight, beer can’t buzz us more than boba
and childish giggles escape from my wide smile.
so this is what the lullabies were about
this is what katy perry sang about
this is what i had been waiting for
to experience moments of pure awe and affection for those around me
to see them smile in slow motion when they understand a joke
or react to something
our collective experiences are understood
no words need to be ushered to empathize
as we dress like the night,
we transform into it
the stars flicker for us
the moon gives us her blessing
and the sleeping sun gives us our space
9:37
was meant for us
the clock stops
and time stretches its arms to infinity and beyond
i could live in the frozen frame of this evening
bomber jackets, jean jackets, and tattooed planets
the inside jokes, the enjoyed hoax, our future hopes
they live inside the car clock that reads, in green, 9:37

You won’t live there forever.
One day, you will leave this place, and you will
take all of your things with you. You will decide what to keep and what to throw away.
When you are cleaning out your home,
emptying your room,
what will you do with my skeleton in your closet?