24/F/Illinois I'm an aspiring writer and photographer! One day wish to publish a book full of my photography and poetry together to share my struggle, thoughts and let people know they aren't alone. Your story matters. 11 followers / 1.3k words
We use to be wound tight like two vines wrapped around another. We laugh, we cried, we were messes at time. Then the one day you got yourself a precious new flower. You guys began to bud together. Eventually that wilted and we grew back together. Months later you got a new budding partner and you began to grow with him. Yet, you seem to forget all your partners. You forgot who helped you grow into this beautiful flower. I gave you so much sunlight in order to see you blossom into your true self. You forgot and left me to wilt away with winter. I helped you grow through everything. I told you patience and time will allow a partner. Yet. In the end i didnt mattee to you. My vine is shriveling and my petals hit the ground. I wasnt dying because of you. I was dying because i realized you never wanted to see me grow, the way i wanted to see your grow.
Now im starting to bud and grow alone without you. Im wrapping around and becoming a flower without you. I deserve sunlight now. I deserve a friend who actually cares. I deserve someone to save me from myself. You have fun blossoming with your new partner. I'm happy your growing and one day maybe when im truly gone forever, you'll realize how much i was there, or maybe not. Thank you for the growing lessons. Its time for me to blossom.
This is still a rough draft till i have someone look it over and i find different words and such! Its about a friendship i was in and how I tried my everything to help them but they didnt care to see it. Or care about me back.
She was heartless Till she realized She had people who loved for her
She suffers from depression Till she realized She's can make changes to her life.
She was silent Till she realized She had a voice stronger than she ever knew.
She think she is talentless Till she realized She is special
She thinks she is unappealing Till she realized She is beautiful inside and out.
She wishes for nobody to be in pain. She wants people to realize they aren't alone. She wants to use her voice to tell others how important they are. She wants to tell people be selfish, just to make yourself happy.
My writing isn't perfect but I've been finally writing again!
Cycling again The same old spell I've been under for years I start to become more positive Starts seeing the light of happiness Yet it comes crashing down again Over and over I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of spiraling out of control. I abuse and abuse Drugs, alcohol, and eating I start not to take care of myself again. Then it slows down I pick myself up just to fall within minutes, days and sometimes months. This cycle lasts longer each time. My habits become more vicious To the point where I don't know where I am Don't care if I die I just want to get higher and higher for this never-ending pain to go away.
Simply why can't I stop this madness. I don't have dreams or goals anymore I wish for one thing every birthday or every shooting star I've ever seen. Just to wanting to be happy.
Just one time, I would love to know what is life like without : overthinking being depressed Not being angry. Just a girl wanting to be normal.
The art I use has no meaning I use be radiate happiness Creating art is no longer in me I willow away like leaves falling off during autumn. People tried to push me towards my dream. But my depression took it's grip. And there went my dreams down a dark spiraling hole.
Art saved my life for the longest time. As well as many other things. But all the things I used to love and enjoy. Are slipping out of my hands. Then what will happen? The dark cloud will consume me like it had many unknown others.
Do you care? About any of the thoughts and feelings I have. Do you care? When my depression makes me isolate myself Do you care? About me at all. Do you care? About my suicidal thoughts. Do you care? When I cry. Do you care? If I'm happy or even doing ok.
Do you care? That i try to support and love you, when I shouldn't. Do you care? Of anything I've tried doing for you. Do you care? That i still try to be your friend when you've left me at my darkest hours.
Do you even care. I can't keep staying and trying much longer. Just let me go so I can heal. You aren't a friend to me anymore. Your just a stranger to me now.