I remembered the first time we met.
You're wearing your army shirt.
You were holding your phone,
As i walk to you,
You held my waist as we came up the stairs.
And there i knew,
That you will never stay.

I still remember how you eat
The food i bought.
It's like you didn't ate for days.
How you gulp big ounces of water
And told me that water is important.

I still remember you
When i watch the film you love.
The story of a boy, left a girl
And had another chance to love again.

I remember you
When i read through the writings on my wall.
The night that i covered your eyes,
Preventing you to read all of it.
Because I'm too afraid that you might see
The world behind that wall.

I still remember you
As i play my black guitar.
I hated that guitar,
But you still played it
And sang a song for me.

I remember you when i tie my hair.
You used to tie back my hair,
Even though it was such a mess.

I remember you
To the refill of my clutch pencils.
How hard you tried to open it for me.

I still remember you,
The day you carried your basketball shoes
To your office.
And i patiently waited outside
As you talk to your friends.

I remember you whenever i see a coin.
When you told me
That you don't want me to get hurt again
While scraping the love mark on my neck
With a coin.

I remember when you called me on the phone and told me that you have bruises on your arm.
And you're too scared,
Because you thought a ghost did it.

I remember you in Sam smith's song;
Lay me down.
How you did your best
To reach those high notes.
And i know you're happy that day,
Because you made me laugh.

I remember you eating the burger i bought to you at the passenger seat of my car.
And you told me that you're a bit nervous
Because I'm the one who's driving.

And most of all,
I still remember how you held me
And kisses me so tenderly.
And to that kiss,
I can feel all your love.

And i remembered the day,
The last kiss we had.
The kiss that's telling me goodbye.

I will always remember you,
But i have to let this feeling fade away,
For me to forgive you.

The secrets I keep
are deep.

I'd say
it's better to keep it at bay.

But you insist
And now you can't resist

The girl who was once a stranger
is now a danger
To You.

He.
Him.
His.
No matter the pronoun I use, it is the exact one I speak of.
His hands intertwined within mine are like leaves on a tree tied together with a branch. There's that bond, that if left becomes broken and they fall apart, one becoming bare and the other becoming torn.
His skin on mine as we lay together, it reminds me of a mid-summers day. The softness of a picnic blanket and the warmth of the newly risen sun.
His lips, lips that taste like candy, one that reminds me of my childhood and it's somewhat lovely moments of peace, honesty, and love.
His, Him, He.
The three words that make me look and say, "Shut up and kiss me" because if I don't I'm afraid I'll fall like the leaves, loose sense of nature, and forget what real happiness is.
Shut up and kiss me, please, just shut up and kiss me.

My Mother told me
that today was the first day
of the rest of my life

                                                                                        I want you in it.

I find myself
staring at the tv
infront of me,
and i miss you.

I miss your
silly faces,
your reactions
and reenactments,
of a show
playing in the background.

I find myself
being lonely without you,
your presence,
longing for you
to be here.

We all have
that one person,
who changed
everything.

Your personality,
opinions
and your life.

For me,
you are that person.

All it took was
a few weeks,
summer
and a guy like you.

I find myself
thinking about him,
every second
of every day.

I smile,
at the memory
of him.

I enjoy
Every moment,
I spend with him.

I can feel myself
slipping on
the edge,
falling in love
with him

And then i realize,
he doesn't
feel the same,
he never will.

I'm falling,
And i know
he won't be there
to catch me.

I often miss,
the mix of
smoke
and ***
on your tongue.

The way
you smelled,
like smoke
and spice.

And how cute
you looked
in your high state.

You are a misfit,
that fit perfectly
into my heart.

What if you find someone new? What if you already have? What if it’s all a game? What if she’s better for you than I am? What if you never really meant what you said? What if tomorrow I don’t hear from you? What if tomorrow I do hear from you? What if I can’t handle this weight on my chest? What if my lungs give out? What if I love you? What if you don’t love me? Do you love me?

What if you mean what you say? What if you’re telling the truth? What if I’m important to you? What if you want to make this work? What if this works? What if I get what I want? What if I’m it for you? What if I love you? I do love you. What if you love me? Do you love me?

What then?

-h.w.