Your house was at the end of the alley,
The weak sun was  blessing late afternoon on your white four-story building,
It was the arrival of dark winter , full of cold blanket,
I saw my downfall in your black eyes.

Crows in the winter, or flocks of sparrows,
The street was full of tired and cold people.
Nature smiles at the sun's assurance,
In the breath of winter  the air was heavy,
That day was the last day of December.
I saw my downfall in your lovely eyes.

On that day the dead grass cursed the gray earth,
The moon gave a box full of moon to a sleeping Lakshmi owl,
The doors and windows of the mind were closed forever,
The bones of the grave and the blind rotten flesh gathered, and dance till late night.

Life has been nowhere since then,
All there was just the dead soul.
The wife of sun returns to the darkness,
to find her lost love.

Our love was lost in the blink of a gray winter,
In your magic eyes, in my foolish heart.

Soft hearts beat quickly in time.
One, two. One, two.
I stare at her lips, then press them to mine.
One, two. One, two.
I curl up against her, thinking “This is a sign.”
One, two. One, two.
Then deepen the embrace, and let our bodies intertwine.

so i guess this is it,
the end of forever;
no one could've seen this coming.
the separation of past, present, and future.

past:
a smile from you
could spawn
a kaleidoscope of monarchs
in the pit of my stomach.
i fell in love
with the way you rested your chin
upon my head,
we were invincible.
i could have laid in your arms
for years.
i would have.
i had enough hope to feed a village.

present:
you tell me
this was long overdue,
that we're past our prime,
but there's no expiration date
on the sound of your laughter.
how do i explain to you
there are parts of my life
that move slower
without you in them?
today i am a quiet shade of blue.

future:
people will ask me
what was loving him like?
and i will smile and say
it was as if
the sadness had never swept me
under the rug.
i will tell them
how i felt whole,
how you gave me something
to look forward to.
i will tell them
how you lit a fire in my chest
and evacuated only yourself.
no words,
no warning,
not even the butterflies
made it out alive.
i should have known this was coming
by the way you always reeked of smoke
and bad intentions.

you see,
i confused you for someone
who would hold my hand
when things got dark.

i just wish i had some closure.
j.c.

Even if this stops
being love I will always
keep on loving you

10:17 PM
5/12/20