and the boy drew a line
with his stubby hands,
feeling the roughness
of the pavement.

and it is his stubbornness,
when his name is called,
he doesn't look back
pretending not to hear.

with dirt on his hands
he watches the sparks slither
into smoke through his mouth
to taste something ominously sweet.

24 March 2017

In learning we don't have to always share a bed with fear,
it's those flashes of chance that bring out our poetry:
when we abruptly trip over the words we hastily collect
to sound off a feeling so explosive, that
even when it's mumbled with restraint,
it still sounds like fireworks.
and I wish I knew just how your stare looked
when you'd find the moment to strike your match,
and ignite whatever you've readied yourself to say,
but smothered the flame out of worry that you never could.
Just so you could know that you don't have to sleep tonight
with the fear that I'd never want to hear your poetry—
I love the sound of fireworks
when they're coming from your mouth.

Boom.

That's the sound I hear when I squeeze my eyes shut
And clamp my hands over my ears.

Boom.

It sounds like fireworks.
The kind that surge into the air, disappear for a short moment,
Before exploding into a million pixels of luminance
With a loud and vibrant

Boom.*

Gingerly, I remove my hands from my head
Listening to the pitter-patter against my window
Watching the white flash of—

I squeeze my eyes shut, head lowering, hands tight against my ears, knees close to my chest, eyes shut, hands tight against my ears, breathing paused, heart pounding.

A low *grumble.

I open my eyes, hands still against my ears.
The sky is very black.
Some fears
Leave a scar too deep
To be overcome
No matter how many lies you tell yourself.

Your eyes are the colour of the starry night sky; I close my eyes watching the
Fireworks of phosphenes
And in my vision I see your cold blue stare: warm, friendly, loving.
Too warm, too friendly, too loving.
My hands reached forth meeting a blistering nothing.
Our palms are two halves meant to be one, fingers intertwined and locked
Yet locked is your heart to which a key I have not.

My heart raced while watching you from afar
A spark ignited and soared into the black sky.
Exploding, it lit up the dark night and showered me with your warmth and fire
One I enveloped and was blinded by; I could not see the light
Fade into the stark starless nothingness
Instead, all I saw was you (and the life I wanted with you)

Countless, fruitless attempts of baring my soul to you made me question
Perhaps Cupid misfired, made me askew, and still I yearn for you.
I am afraid, you know. Yet, a sliver of light slipped between the crack of the closet door
Do I grasp it or do I leave the light be?
(laughs) Forgive me. To be or not to be, wasn't the crux, was it?

Staring at you from across the room, I've come to realize
Hard truths never fail to fall even the strongest—you only have eyes for Others
Cause after all, norms are meant to be adhered to
And the sky is never always a clear blue. Fireworks don't last forever,
Do they?
In the darkness I stand watching them fade. I clutch at my heart, fire ablaze. It shall stay ablaze

For all eternity.

Do you ever wonder...

Are my words even heard?
Do they shoot silently in the night like a star...
or
Do they blast with multitudinous force into the festival sky like fireworks,
Crackling through your ear...

Do they matter?
Do they float past your mind,
as easily as a speck of sand swirls
Around the desert...
Or
Do they land steady in your heart fibers,
Impacting your world as heavily as the breath that fills your lung?

Will you remember them tomorrow?
Do they disappear the way that a soft murmur melts into your shadow?
or
Do they tarry, like a chill running down your spine,
leaving behind imprints of my lips to remember them by?

I wonder...

Something warm
occurs
when
you’re near;
simple fireworks work
and cover
the sky
with joy.

Ours was like fireworks
in the mid-summer sky
Radiant,
       Iridescent,
                   Incredulous,
                              Alive
but the finale came suddenly, unexpectedly soon,
& the band played on,
as if nothing had changed,
as if a fountain of sparkling embers and flame
had not just erupted mere inches away.
And now,
where explosions once seared summer's sky with crackling thunderous incandescent delight
Only whispers and wisps of smoke remain,
Scattered by the breeze,
Whithered, then, by rain.
And of the evening's reveries precious little can be found:
some soured beer in crumpled cans, discarded haphazardly
surrounding a threadbare picnic bedspread
rumpled beneath the branches of an ancient live oak tree.
Dew now wet where lovers once had lain,
staring up into the night
in wonder, ignorant of such banal things
like: masquerading lust in love's robes, declaring,
"I've never loved a love as deep as the love I have for you,"
and truly being unaware of the uncanny substitute;
Or the unbridled disenchantment unleashed by abandonment
and the inevitable transience of an insufferable pain.

We ****** on bar balcony balustrades, over looking city streets.
We ditched tampons into trees rather than wait to satisfy our needs.
We left your ******* in a planter
on a patio under an eve
On purpose, So that some poor, unassuming shop-keep
Would find them
(along with cigarette butts and an empty bag of ****)
and have no choice but think to themselves,
"Did someone **** here?"
and then immediately understand:
the answer is
"Yes. Exuberantly!"

We defiled. every. place. we went;
giggling with glee at all of our indiscretions.

Oh how many indiscretions could there possibly be?
We shall know;
All of them!

And so we did,

And we were free.



On new years eve I carried you piggyback in your peacock blue sequined gown through the streets of our ****-soaked-gutter-of-a-town.
You were barefoot, drunk, and refusing to be told what to do,
that you had to wear your shoes,
that the streets were far to ***** and dangerous for your tender little feet- you said "Just let me be, It's fine. It wont **** me..."
then, looking at the gutter, continued,
"probably.
And these shoes already are, so..." sticking out your tongue
But I couldn't put you down.
Not in that place, not at that time.
Nor did I even want to. I could have carried you all night
(which was fortunate, because for most of itI did.)
We were declared the city's cutest couple by a stranger on the sidewalk whom we passed while galloping down the street, you, giggling, alight upon my back, running at full speed. This declaration is reaffirmed by everyone we meet.

- A pixie, you know, will always trip you up
(they're natural pranksters you see).
Their magic is undeniable, but oh what trouble they can be. -

- My toothsome little faerie - You meant trouble for me;
but what a beautiful,
beguiling mess you turned out to be,

You snuck pixie dust into everywhere we went, and
Dispensed it with abandon-
Spread it like caution to the wind.
Sanctifying everything and everyone we met.
That poor city was baptized in our joy.
It's sins washed into glittering gutters,
where we lay sparkling, genuine and loved.


We broke the records that night,
all of them, known and not.

We loved harder than diamond,
than a trailer-hitch to the shin,
Deeper than the fathoms of the trenches at the bottom of the sea.

We made soulmates seem like strangers.
We spoke nonsense fluently.
We shared mind and body, food and drink,
and careless wanton play.

It was

The most
     *******
          Fun
   I've ever had
       in my life...

Probably the most that I ever will.


Every moment I was with you had
the sizzle and the tease
of a bottle-rocket, lit
and held between my teeth.

I knew that I'd get burned
If I held it to the end,
But I did it just to prove I could;
To prove to me
That I was brave enough
To be unashamed
  To be unafraid
   To be.

The spark of fire
in your eyes
unleashed
a series of
fireworks
in mine