Unwanted glory,
All of it was so gory,
And I am so sorry.

Why that day came,
And why I survived,
I do not know either.

It is as if I chose dear life,
Of the two choices there,
Now I doubt my choice.

There is no happiness,
And there is no sorrow,
Neither happy nor sad.

Unrequited love I dispensed,
How long will it take for me,
Always I repent after loving.

They ask me my story,
I tell them my saga,
Of love & suffering.

Then they get bored,
Too dreamy a story,
They take it all as fiction.

She looks in the mirror fidgeting picking
Distraught, destroyed, disgusted
Her stomach curves out a bit and her arms a bit clumpy
Wishing, wanting, wailing

She looks perfectly fine but not in her eyes
To her she’s a sack of calories
Body fat sticks to her more than her mother’s positive words
Her reflection looks like a painting thrown out of a gallery

A part of her is done, fed up, and over with it all
“The media doesn’t affect me cuz I’m better than that”
But stretch marks crawls down the back of her thighs
And leaves her uttering the words “I’m fat”

At this point she says it to please her friends
They all say it actually; it’s normal conversation
But at night she knows they all go look in the mirror
And stare in horror with fear, and agitation
~~~~~
A few days’ go by as she sticks to
Her brand-new diet routine
Apples for the morning and Chicken in the night
But results aren’t as fast as she seems

She trembles at the sight of her
Cannot come out of her complete disgust
Of the way she is; why was she born like this?
Is it possible for a body to suddenly combust?

Her friends don’t say much or notice at all
Which is ok she guesses since they don’t need to care
But just sometimes, she wonders if they can see
The way her ribcage struggles to take in air

A few weeks go by as she stands in the mirror
Once again as she always did
Dropped two pant sizes, now size 8
Healthy looking but not that fit

Or at least not fit enough for her
So she continues to tighten the measuring tape
Stomach tightens and tears squeeze out
FAT FAT FAT is all she can contemplate

At this point she can’t see her body
She sees an ugly, disgusting garbage dump
Slim red lines scatter her thighs and arms
Hair is turning thin and comes out in clumps

Only after a few months do her parents see
How thin their precious daughter is becoming to be
But they become so happy and compliment her
For dieting well and looking so pretty

“My dear, you’re looking good!” they say
“You’re looking better than ever!” They all sigh
“How are you losing this much weight so quickly?”
She just smiles at them and lies

“I’m fine honestly and I never felt greater!
It feels so good to drop this much weight
I should have done this a lot sooner, I know,
But at least it’s never too late”

The skin around her flat stomach; its all fat
Her arm bulge and legs do too; she thinks it’s all so bad
Why can she just be skinny? Why is it so hard
If only she were thinner, she wouldn’t be so sad

Tears stroll down her cheeks, head feels like fire
Her weak limbs start to boil in anger
The girl she sees in the mirror, she hates hates hates
Can’t see the damage of her mind, the danger

The mirror cracks as she throws her fists
Against the reflection of the face she hates
Disgust and agony pour out of her eyes
Torturing herself as punishment; she won’t hesitate

The core of her mind is now corrupt
Everything that she sees becomes threat
The food at lunch? Her mothers dinner?
Just the thought of eating makes her upset

Because if she eats, she will get fat
And she won’t be skinny and pretty
And if she’s not pretty who will love her?
She just wants to be loved; is that too greedy?