sleeping rough freezes
heart, mind, body and soul dies
hope still lingers on

What's the worst type of hurt? Was it your first actual boyfriend? Or Was it your First Love? Was it because they cheated and left you broken, asking why? Could it have been one of your parents? Or a grandparent passing away. Was it an aunt or uncle? Did they do something to you? Was it mental or physical abuse? Could it be that guy you didn't actually date? Was it a ***** teacher or coach? Did someone touch you inappropriately? Was it that best friend? Did they betray your trust? Was it a coworker or boss? Could be it have been that stranger?  Who broke you to the point you thought there was no coming back? Which traumatic event of your life made you relook at life and rethink everything? What happened that makes you overthink every relationship you have? What hurt you the most?

**** man , I just don’t know she says to me,
I just don’t know.
The sepia seeping into the memories spread across her table.
She wears her heart on her sleeve but weakness it is not.
Our deepest conversations have since I can remember happened in kitchen chairs
With corelle cups and music,
Rivers in the background .

I was lost for a while and I know it took me far too long to find my way back.
Thank you for waiting for me , for not losing hope that I would find my way,
I can never give you back the time,
I promise now that you can’t shake me,
Twenty-eight be ******.

She is grace, beauty and beat down in one,
Shaped by the parental other half,
Carrying the legacy like a crown.

When I miss him the most I turn to you because of it,
Because you carry the last flame , spark , of the man who chased the monsters in the dark.

It's all it takes to make me happy
All I need to put a smile on
3 things reason enough
To become a better man
Than I was a second ago
My daughter
Innocent and energetic
Heart of gold
I'd plate with titanium
So it would never be broken
Lock away in a far away castle
Too high for even dragons to reach
But I know you can't hide
The radiance of her eyes
Intrigued by everything
With a giving hand at her age
My Family
Jokes and burns
Scares and bruises
We give each other just for a laugh
Toughening each other's minds
Keeping the wise still sharp
Forging the young
Into durable adults
Prepared for anything
Ready to take charge
Tearing out walls
To open their own doors
My friends
Uplifting and always there
Significant to someone like me
Who fears the dark
Wishing to never be left alone
If not for them
I would have given up
On chasing the dream
Of becoming a man
My little girl is proud of
It's gratitude before me
Oceans of debts
Money could never pay back
Only my success could do
Proving to them all
Their failure to give up on me
Wasn't in vain
That I was truly worth
Every drop of effort
They didn't realize they put in
A simple smile
A helping hand
An "I got you if you need me"
Late night talks
Advice I didn't think I needed
It all molded me
Every bit of kindness
I didn't think I was worth
I say it's 3 things
Yet that's just the categories
I've placed the thousands of hands
I refuse to let go of, in
Thank you
From my soul
To the tears that fall
As I write this
While I'm supposed to be working
All of you saved me
When I couldn't save myself

When I feel lost in this world
full of potential
and twists and turns
When I feel I have no place
in structured conversations
and I barely recognize my face
When I have no friends nor foes
or at least I can't see them anymore
my aunt, my cousin, my dad propose
that art is always open
that poetry will always listen
and my history is my token
I am the culmination
of my family's art
So I will work
and tear myself apart
with verses and rhymes
and paintings and designs
'Cause our history has no end
so long as on my shoulders it dipends

****** chicken soup,
Yum Yum,
Puddles of chicken soup
All over the space,
There's a tornado of soup
These days
Plenty of chicken soup
In the fridge too.
Happy the family,
Forevermore
For gallons of chicken soup
Every day made in the bathtub...
Hot warming the heart to the bones
******,
Bon on sweet
Puddles of yum yum,
On a plate the bowl
Of YummyYum,
****** chicken soup.

I grew on after she was gone
unaware that routines of love
high days and Sundays
had woven spells

Bay leaf smell
kindnaps back
to a kitchen where windows,
steamed with riches baked and boiled,
wombed us from the outside world

Born to patience and a place at the table
each chair full, with more squeezed if needed
while more than food sustained us

“Come downstairs, dinner’s ready”
No mom!

“Look here, I knit you a sweater for picture day”
No mom!

“Come with me to the store, it’ll only be 10 minutes”
No mom!

…

No mom, don’t leave,
don’t go,
I want to eat that stew once more,
Make me anything,
a scarf for the summer,
I want to smell your scent once more,
I’ll go,
follow you to the ends of the world

Just come home,
I promise I won’t say no anymore