And for a short time baby
You made me believe
That in reality
There can still be
A fairytale lived

There is no way out there is no second chance
There is no innocent child ready to dance
There is a fight there is a death
There is a girl ready for her final breath
There is a tear running down a face
There is a walk at an unsteady pace
There is a sadness that causes uncontrollable madness
There is a day that they call the end
There is a foe once a friend
There is a story That ends in indescribable glory
There is a chapter they say is the start
There is a boy who gave his heart
There is a stranger killed for the cause
There is a queen showing her flaws
There is a knight fleeing in cowardice
There is a king finally powerless
There is a princess who saved herself
There is a bottle fallen from a shelf
There is a choice remembered for a lifetime
There is a friend at the end of there line
There is a pauper climbing the ladder
There is a servant turning madder
There is a dragon wanting a life
There is a baker without a wife
There is a witch who did not burn
There is an executioner who was given there turn
There is a hero for once defeated
There is a villain who never cheated
There is a sidekick learning at last
There is a spell that was unexpectedly cast
There is a loss never to be forgotten
There is a final meal left to rotten
There is a nemesis left misunderstood
There is a toddler robbed of its childhood
There is a parent hated for mistakes
There is a family that’s hole still aches
There is a feud based on a gamble
There is a scratch caused by a bramble
There is a legend based on their existence
There is a village that showed there persistence
There is a country fighting for what’s right  
There is a day that didn’t end in night
There is a lesson that should be remembered
There is a love that cannot be measured

4yr old me: “I really liked him. We were having such fun playing in the shallows. He knew all good pools to find exciting stuff in.”

Adult me: “yeah I liked him too. He’s a good listener, interesting, gentle and attentive.”

“He made me giggle and shared good stuff to eat. He didn’t care that I’m just a girl, made me feel special. Told good stories too…”

“yeah he’s sensitive and made me feel desirable …”

“now he’s gone… why did he go… what did I do? What did you do? Doesn’t he want to play with me anymore? Was I too noisy… maybe I talked to much, asked too many questions… you are always telling me not to talk to strangers… but YOU were snuggling up to him!”

“No you didn’t do anything wrong… you’re right it was me I got carried away with the play, the conversation… my desire…”

“but why did he go he was having fun too…”

“he got scared”

“scared? of what?”

“I don’t know.”

“Will he come back?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ve got a pain in my heart.”

“Me too.”

“And in my tummy…I’m scared it feels like I’m going to explode.”

“what are you scared of”

‘ the pain. If he never comes back will the pain be there forever?’

‘ I don’t know’

“But you said you would look after me. You said you wouldn’t let it happen again. You promised.”

“I know I blew it”

“ please make the pain go away?’

‘I can’t’

‘why not? You’re the grown up’

‘I’m afraid too’

‘why’

‘because the pain might last forever and I don’t know how to make it better’

‘so what shall we do?’

‘we’ll hold each other tight and feel it together’

‘that feels better… I’m still scared’

‘oh?’

‘if you’re scared… you might leave too’

‘If I do I’ll take you with cos we’re inseparable’

‘promise?’

‘cross my heart and hope to die.’

‘I feel like dying’

‘shall we go to bed instead?’

‘Ok but can I have a story….’

‘ sure, but no more fairytales’

I was raised believing in fairy tales
Those magic-filled nights
Where love was in the air
Beautiful gowns, and even more beautiful women wearing them

But my glass slipper has already been shattered
And the once sweet chorus of birds
Became the fears that flutter my mind

My dreams may have turned from flowers to thorns
And true love may never find me
Yet still I wish for happily ever after
Or maybe just happy.
Sometimes.

What if
... I could turn back time
... I could go forward
... I could change the days
... I could read your mind

What if
... fairytales would come true
... superheroes do excist
... magic was for everyone
... happiness wasn't a bubble

What if
... I could fullfil my dreams
... I wouldn't be too scared
... I didn't lie to myself
... I could get my happy ending.

What if...