Gray clouds fill the sky while you watch them become a gray blur
The smell of rain still lingers in the air
You're surrounded by barren trees
And dark pavement
For once your mind is silent, numb
Just appreciating the moment
While content paces through each vein in your body
You can hear the sound of cars in the distance
But they never get close enough to ruin the illusion
The peace
And everything feels soft
Whether it be jagged rocks or splintered tree trunks
Your mind can't tell where reality ends and your thoughts begin
And the moment stays with you all day
Whether or not you stay in the moment,
It lingers.

I can't remember
what we had
last night

I only have things
that feel like dreams
For it was too good
to stay with me

Your hand in mine
with the view
I took you to
pretending
I'd never been there
so we could share
our joy
of discovery
as the sun
began to set

And then
the clouds came in
and faded
any truth
of us

Did we happen?

you had me trapped
by the love
i still had for you
my hands on someone else's body
was a sin  
that formed an indescribable feeling inside of me
one that ate me from the inside out
and crippled me
until i was incapable of functioning
like a human being
i was stuck neck deep in quick sand
ready to fade away
until i met him
he broke the curse
the one you had placed on me
he set me free
free to love again
free to feel again
free to be me again
i am yours
no longer
goodbye
young love

Rolled my first blunt with the help of you
Taught me everything i had no clue
Got high and fell in love wit the trees
Nature at its finest i couldn’t believe
Got too comfortable and became addicted
No prescriptions
Started trappin without permission
Young and never gave a ****
Was in luck when i saw u rollin up
World’s better when im high
That good feeling in the skies
Forgetting more about the pain
Meds workin on my body and brain
Helped me be the woman i am today
Smoked my feelings to let the pain away
Wished i stayed look at you now best friend in the grave
Smokin and felt you here
Remembering you brings me tears
I picture you around
Faded with me off the loud
Trap life with you made me go crazy
One day I’ll leave here without fear
Lost my best friend but feel him here
At times feel his presence near
The good die young is what they say
Still having flashbacks from that day
Rip

I don't know how is it possible that I keep seeing you in places and in people you can not be.
Today I picked a scenary similar to when we first got faded together.
I tried to push you out of my mind by having Rihanna (one of my  alter egos when I get high) tell me: 'Nahh girl, you will have a ******' happy trip and sorry but this ***** is killing your vibe!'
And Riri rarely speaks.
She liked you. She didn't like anyone.
So I tried to stop picking on the fresh wound in my soul
But you are still there painfully enough.
The first wave hit me and I was out.


I looked at that girl, much different looking than you, start to change.
Suddenly she had your fingers then she put on your face
then your short Harry Potterish hair
and lastly your beautiful eyes.
I will try to not forget them. I promise.
I probably didn't mean to you not even as close like you did to me so why are you showing yourself in MY mind?
Did I matter after all?
Or am I delusional and my sick brain is a Joker's playground?

I feel like I really did love you.
Like for real real.
Because you've inhabited the inside of my ribcage ever since I laid my eyes on you.
Maybe that wasn't some ordinary love because you were never ordinary.
You were a miracle.

In my dreams, you told me how your god now is the devil himself and it struck me how happy you seemed.
And all I ever wanted is for you to be truly happy forever...
So I stopped praying for your mercy.
I've seen you happy for the first time and it doesn't seem like you need it.

3 months since you've been gone
And your demons are now my roommates.