We're sitting in the same room, silent.
I don't specifically remember how we got here,
but I wish we could go back -- when we barely knew each other.
Now I feel betrayed and everything has changed.
You haven't noticed, but all my ideals have evaporated.
I spent my life with these expectations
my pride won't let it go.
Knowing that I love you more than you could ever love me
fills me with dread
Maybe if I say and do the right things I can change enough.
I can expect less.
I can be happy with less.
Other days I feel like you should go **** yourself.

oh god
i just can’t think about it anymore.
i hate the way everything tastes
the moment you walk out of my door.
nothing ever feels quite so
satisfying
quite as dreamy
as you waking up besides me
and staying.
without fear of what the morning
sun may do to you.
my love,
even if you turn to stone,
i’ll learn every prayer
to bring you back from the dead
and even if i can’t
i will love you as a ghost.
oh god
can’t you see what this doing to me?
i am no longer the person
i told myself i would be
what a crazy sort of jealousy
to envy what will never be.

you have me.

What possessed me to love you so fiercely?
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Won't happen again.

I am shallow.
I know I am.
I hate it about me
And I'm never good enough.

It's hard to fulfill
Ideals that belong to the past.
It's time to move on
It's time to do whatever you like.

But the chains won't loosen up.
And there's still a long road before us.
Will you be brave and go forward?
I don't think I can do it.

Neither do you.
Nobody believes in me.
Nor do they know what fuels me.
I keep getting up from the rough road.

Why do I do that?
Why don't I just let go?
I'm not strong enough to **** myself.
I'm not strong enough at all.

I'm a coward.
I can't take it.
My body shakes
My hands are trembling.

There's no way out.
Depression is darkness
That swallows me whole.
It drags me to its depths.

*It corrupts my soul

Stopping placing me on this pedestal
Of your high expectations.
This pedestal of your high demands
And harsh words in quotations.
Building faster than I can find
My balance on my feet,
Gripping and grasping on to the edge
Not exactly an acrobatic feat.
You construct this column so high
As I struggle to keep up.
So high up here all alone,
And all I want to do is backup.
Please, I'm begging on my knees,
Up here all alone and I feel a lone breeze.
Only the sky up here on this solitary pedestal so tall,
And the higher you place me, the harder I'll fall...