Hidden from the world, their expectations too high
I will never reach them, even if I try.

So I change myself; My face, my hair,
Everything that makes me ME, no one will care.

Soon enough, I'm not the same as I used to be
No longer that little girl that everyone loved to see.

I have become a fake person with fake aspects
So afraid of their expectations of having to be perfect.

I have lost the only people that cared about the real me
Now I'm a nail, holding up their reputations like the tool they want me to be.

I am defenseless and the only thing I can do is be quiet
This is what I wanted, right? The new look, personality and diet.

I wanted to reach their expectations and still I fail to do that
I changed myself for them but still they walk all over me like a mat.

I guess their expectations were too high, I couldn't go that far
Now I have to live with them ******* me dry of myself like the leeches they are.

Lying on these sheets,
Shadows dancing inside my head
Too much depends upon,
Too much expects for more
Voices seek for the hug of a serene sea,
A heart wanting nothing but to be free

9 to 10, new among busy men
10 to 11, have a meet inside cabin
11 to 12, got working shelve
That's how it started

12 to 1, almost done
1 to 2, had lunch too
2 to 3, continue working spree
That's how it went

3 to 4, do work don't bore
4 to 5, its a busy life
5 to 6, soon  I'll be into this mix
That's how it end

Do you understand the feeling of confusion?
Do you find the feeling of pain relieving?
Do you ever stop and think for a second,
That the new friends,
Keep quiet when the old ones are leaving?
Do you like the way you make love just an allusion?
Do you like the look of being blind?
Do you feel smart if you act stupid?
Do you feel good when others feel bad?
You cannot expect to know something,
If you get a question you don't know the answer to.
You cannot expect to get love,
If all you give,
Is hate.
You cannot expect to have the knowledge,
If all you do,
Is criticize the intellectually rich people who actually try so hard to give you something you never really had in the first place.
You cannot expect someone to cry over you,
If you are the one who caused them most of the pain.
The person crying, isn't crying because they are missing you,
They are crying, because you were too self-absorbed, too egotistical, too proud of your own achievements,
To see theirs.
You cannot expect someone to follow in your footsteps,
If you don't even have your own to create.
You cannot expect to always be happy,
If all you do,
Is to make others miserable.
You cannot believe just because you are such a beautiful human being,
That everybody will fall in love with you,
If they have only seen you once.
You cannot expect to have a life you always dreamt of,
If all you do,
Is destroy everyone else's, just to achieve yours.
You cannot have these expectations,
If you make the assumption that you may be better than anybody else.
You cannot have these expectations,
If you lose yourself in the deeds you do.
Know your surroundings and the people around you,
Before you start to assume that you can get something you never really deserved.
Don't expect to get something,
if you never gave anything.

Miss Haversham has shaken
off the cobwebs and the deadly dust.
tore down the tattered curtains
moth-eaten and frayed
She’s flung open the windows
thrown away the detritus of decay
into the path of passing winds
napery tossed down to the garden.
Even the mice have run for cover
as she tears off the raggedy sheds
of stained satin and be-ribboned lace.

She stands naked in the barren room
Estella has prepared a soothing bath
perfumed rich with oils and fragrant attars
to steal the acris stench of unwashed years
coaxing the arid brittle crust away
saving the soft delicate skin beneath
viciousness, sloughed smooth
and vengeful purpose passes.

She is reborn a Botticelli Venus
standing in an open shell
long hair shining and wrapping around
her creamy skin, voluptuous
curvaceous, slippery with life
newborn yet wiser for the years
of reflection, ready to deflect
romantic nonsense and live
free and breathe again.

© M.L.Emmett

Why do I think this way?
Constantly facing the worst,
So I automatically expect it.

Why do I react this way?
I automatically expect it,
But I still feel miserable every time.

Why do I do this to myself?
I feel miserable every time,
Yet I take the chance time after time.

I constantly face the worst,
So I automatically expect it.
But something inside me always says,
"This time will be different."

You can crave to have someone elses qualities while in the meantime someone else is longing to be as gifted as you in some way.

Never fully satisfied with yourself, you want to be bigger and better.

Because you choose to hear out the people that think you aren't good enough and need better characteristics, and not the ones that think you are beautiful just the way you are.

Dont expect love for love,
For love is not money