looking back I see
where it all went wrong
it was when I saw her
her in bra and a thong
you weren’t denying
you’d only been implying
this friend you said
is only a friend
it may not have been a lie
it was enough for me
to say bye.

I like to call this counting crows.

A boy told me he liked me while I was high and crying listening to some indie *******.
My ex girlfriend smoked everyday, 3:11 pm, after school in her backyard, and I guess that is sort of cringeworthy.

Tell me you like me.

I like to call this counting crows.

And I wish I was pretty without make up, but I sold my soul and became demoralized. 

My ex boyfriend split his wrist one day and blamed me, and I guess that is sort of cringeworthy.

Tell me you’re okay.

I like to call this counting crows.

And you really can’t call me pretty because once, I loved someone and they called me pretty, but now he says I’m not the same-
He said I’m glass, but I always thought I was marrow.

I like to call this counting crows.

And I keep throwing up water and candy and syllables, but you won’t like me once you reach the smell,

And I’ve been empty for a long time,
but eating and eating and eating will only make you nauseated.

There is a pit in my stomach filled with sand.

I like to call this counting crows.

And I didn’t expect to meet you here, but there you are smiling at me with top and bottom marbles that I’d love to play with someday.

And here I am rubbing my knees trying to stand up without looking as feeble as I feel-

I remember little things.

Princess Diana died on my birthday.

It takes one man to change a light bulb and a woman to light it.

What the **** was the punchline?

I really want to sleep.

My best friend keeps making plans.

I want to kiss you shoulders.

Please lock the door”

I watch the rise and fall of your chest
And in this moment time has no meaning;
In this moment time has not progressed.

Our past,
The horrible wounds inflicted on our souls
In the ****** war we waged
Never transpired

your eyes gaze lovingly into mine, and I am lost.

Everything melts away -
All that is left is us.
We are naked, pure,
And I am left breathless, and dazzled by
The presence of your soul

As always my love
We are one...
We are infinite.

I am the sun
that your petals turn towards
when it is warm enough
for you to blossom

I am the rain
that you soak up and crave
in times of positivity droughts
and purposeful dehydration

I am afraid
to deny you what you need
in fear that I will be the cause
of your untimely death

I am reminded
that one must be without water
to appreciate the rain
and experience days of darkness
to fall in love with the sun

For this reason,
I do not move under the moonlight
when you require daybreak
even though my body
so desperately wants to burn

******* ******* *******
******* and your pretty eyes that put the stars to shame
******* and your smile that made my tummy flutter for days
******* and the way your smell intoxicated me
******* and the way your arms kept me from falling apart
******* and how you made me feel so safe
******* and how you broke my heart
******* ******* *******

You are like a drug and I am addicted. My first taste was strange and uncertain yet so delightful. My second was lovely and I knew I wanted more. Before long I was craving you uncontrollably, unable to function until I got a little bit of you. I was told that this would happen but I didn't heed the warnings that were clearly on the label. My under aged immaturity begged for more until I didn't even enjoy it I just HAD to have it. You started tasting bitter and became hard to choke down, but more I wanted still. I blinked and it was killing me. I shoved more down as I gasped and struggled for air. As I breathed a breath I thought would be my last, I finally put you down and walked away. Five months I spent separated from the substance I knew would be the end of me. I am clean and sober now but I still crave your warmth. I pass by others addicted to the thing I once loved and sometimes wish I had never left. But because I did, I am free and can never go back. I am clean but why do I still crave you as I did? Because your drug is the heaviest I know and the most addictive thing I have ever tasted. The buzz that you give can light the lowest of the low, and that is a power so high, I will never let in between my fingers again.

i’ve never believed in ghosts
but no matter where i go
your memories haunt my every thought
i see your every move anywhere i am
now that you’re gone
i cant help but think about
all those old paranormal documentaries
“the spirit follows you”
but
maybe i am following you

We talked one day, you made me smile
Every word was worth the while
I loved you with all my heart
Yet thrice you tore it apart
I took you back
But I am starting to crack
I don't feel the same anymore
So I broke your heart, now make it Four
Times we both broke up
You would give me your heart in a bowl, plate, or cup
I am so sorry, I can't lie
I just want to say, Heal and Goodbye

You saw me going away
Like rain down a gutter
Such a waste
But not dead
Not a part of your life anymore
But missed when the sun shines too long
People like us live on
No longer in the moment you decided to notice
You walk above ground
Because you survived it
We had to find another place to live
But we're still here
Waiting for more rain to bring your memory near