Here you are again
Lying next to me, I was wrapped up in the comfort of my duvet just a few seconds ago But now I’m tangled up in your fingers (again)
They speckle my skin with indigo and violet ink that I scrub at
It wont wash off
Your teeth sink into my neck, through my veins
You’ve entered into my bloodstream
My limbs start to detach
All I am is this mould of flesh in the palm of his hand
You keep crashing into me
Painting every corner of my body with your tongue
Crimson seeps down my spine as he plays it like a violin
Strumming and plucking at my cords
When will it end?
God, when will this end?
I close my eyes, they’re filled with water
It fills my mouth and lungs
I’m drowning
His body is a weight that drags me down further
It refuses to let me swim up towards the surface
Even a quick gasp for air is forbidden -
Tell yourself that this is just another bad dream
Keep telling yourself that
I’m fading into his sheets
I wake up
Wrapped in the comfort of my duvet, just like I was a few seconds ago
I’m alone but
The memory of him is always ever-present
He lives on in every cell and every bone.

He said
"It’s ok to be strange, but not too strange"
And over the years it has never left me

Because apparently, people can appreciate your “uniqueness”
But only in small doses
And if that is so, then why bother at all?
You can’t take a piece of someone and call it a whole

The good and the bad that resides in all of us
Is something we have to accept wholeheartedly
It's our humanity

There is a madness in all of us
A darkness
Just the same
As our will to live
As our happiness

Being loved in bits and pieces is torture
It's not just wanting to change for someone
Trying to be what they want you to be

It's hating yourself for not being right to begin with
It's feeling inadequate
It's worries and doubts pouring over you like a thick sludge

It's wishing you could hate that person discarding those unsightly pieces of you
And not being able to

Some people don't see the pain they cause
Because they've become numb to their own pain
And have gotten tired of waiting
Waiting their whole lives for someone to see them as a whole

All it takes is one step forward
Steady and sure
And one resonating acknowledgement:

"It's ok to be yourself"

So that our hearts may flourish

I pour my insides out
It's time to fix me now,
Come step inside my great attraction.
It made them all go wow,
Now they just tear it down.

Nothing is ever,
I won't last forever,
Can't keep it together,
Forever,
No!

In this box,
It's got one million locks,
It's ten-dimensional, not alternative,
Not industrial rock.
I have tried,
But I can't wind down this clock.

Can somebody tell them the secret to living,
Before our heart beats stop.

I never wanted two producers,
Don't mind one, but something about the other.

I'm to myself,
Though life doesn't feel real,

I see their feelings faking,
And all the things their making,
I see me shaking with all of their taking,
How does it feel?

I'm bring ***** back,
Going off on a full attack,
Stepping outside of the cage that they built me,
Everybody get back,
There's nothing in the way,
I'm working to fix that,

However,

Nothing is ever,
It won't last forever,
Can't keep it together,
Forever,
No!

Scream and shout,
They try to figure what it's about,
I try so hard just to find my way
While keeping the toxins out.

No need to hold our breaths
Nothing's gonna stop me now.
I know I am crazy,
My senses get hazy
Yet it's THEY who can't see, somehow.

I can see a thousand lies
When I look in their eyes
I'm running out of time!

But you still hold me down,
You are afraid of me!
You think I'm here to take,
Be the person you be.

But I'm not here to destroy,
I'm not here to play games,
Just here to send my message,
Just here to make my name.

But you are in the way,
You 'leaders' own it all.
How can I find my way
When you're still standing tall?
Your monopoly is strong,
So what can I do to make you fall?

Nothing is ever,
I won't last forever,
Can't keep it together,
Forever,

No!

No matter how hard I try to hate you,
I always end up loving you more than ever.