Every day I feel the pain less.

The needles in my heart become fewer and farther between.

The joys of life dull the hurt you gave me.

Until I forget it was ever mine.

I should’ve known how this would end
We played the part of distant friends
And I knew it’d hurt like a metal fist
A strong uppercut that almost missed
You should’ve seen my hand the other day
Shaking and trembling like a rusty train
When it comes and goes in a fiery blaze
Lungs burn, stomach turns, this must be fate
I’m calling around for a saving grace
And with two bruised knees, I’ll try to pray
What was that thing you said to my face?
Honey, you’ll find love, but not today
And I never wore a frown very well
But it’s been hard, if you couldn’t tell
It’s not even summer and I already fell
I’ll buy any hope that you try to sell

you see me in the mirror
you see me on the road
but you don't in the moment
i am letting go
you think it's okay
to let my soul go unanswered
since i seem unbothered
but you have't realized
you are letting go
we don't talk like we used to
rituals are forgotten and got old
i try not to remember the last time
we spoke on the phone

Sometimes I feel the darkness
as it draws itself yet oh so near.
Shrouds of blackest pitch,
Like a shiver of the spine,
caused by a scream I feel but do not hear.

All pervasive gloom
that shrouds my world to never ending black.
Dragging down both soul and sense,
Like a craven remorseless killer
intent on demonic inhuman attack.

I feel it in my body and I sense it
as it encroaches on my mind.
Taking both warmth and light,
Leaving never ending blackness,
devoid of hope of any kind.

At times the will to fight
has been totally taken away.
Rational mind and tired limbs,
Made to give up all reason
to stand and fight for one more day.

I sense an endless wave that drowns me
in utter dark despair.
Kicking through all defence,
Until all will to live yet one more moment,
evaporates into thin air.

The fight is ever daily
and the waves they come and go.
Random depths to which I fall,
How I survive amidst the darkest waves,
I really do not know.

In days gone by the waves have compelled me
to physically react.
More than one failed attempt,
Still I yet remain by fluke,
compounded by the lessons that I lacked.

I know that I have learned
and can push all normal fears aside.
In life we learn from failures,
And it is chance and not hope,
keeps me safe where I now hide.

They say endings are scary
Again, what do they know?
Maybe they’re just guessing
Perhaps, going with the flow

Endings could be peaceful
Of endings I’m not scared
They are regretful that’s all
But my whole life I’ve dared

Endings could be happy
Of endings I’m not scared
They are just very guilty
Of things they hadn’t shared

Endings could be calming
Of endings I’m not scared
They’re just anxious because
They’ll witness all that they feared

Endings could be nice
It’s probably not, I lied
I’m not just scared of endings
Truth is, I’m terrified.

The sun says just as much in its presence as in its absence
A beautiful escape from the sky
How could endings be so graceful?
As the fire goes out, the passion dies
I lay here believing that there’s more out here
In the dark, there is still light
In the night, stars come out
They are much brighter, much more genuine than our inventions  
Artificial could never replace the real thing
Although the sunset is beautiful and the night of stars are beautiful,
There is always some awful grey in between

On this lonely night,
My mind travels to the past.
Why didn't it work?
Why didn't it last?

A whole year later,
Your name is still on my lips.
I hold it in but
Sometimes it slips.

Do you remember the beginning,
When we talked all day?
We would last forever.
That was what we'd say.

You were my peace,
My solace, and my rock.
We thought it would endure,
Could outlast the clock.

Love morphed to resentment,
Trust, to deceit.
Reassurance to fear,
Endurance to defeat.

People change,
But I thought we'd change together.
Our resolve blew away like
The wind tosses a feather.

I don't know how to believe in love.
I thought I had it.
I thought I had you.
I thought that we fit.

How can I trust myself,
When I was so wrong?
Five years with you
Didn't even seem long.

I hope you are well,
And that you know,
I'll love you forever,
Wherever you go.