I was looking for
emotion,

But all I got
was something
broken.

I tried to let
my heart open,

But I had to close it,

Before it got ripped
From my soul.

I mistakened
Vulnerability for love,

Thinking I would find
devotion.

Instead, I found myself
lost again,

Drowning
in the deep blue ocean.

Like a one-night stand,
I knew it wasn’t going
to last forever,

I thought there was
something there,

But I was looking
in the wrong place,
at the wrong time.

And that
was when
I realized,

I was never
going to be

together with you.

i soulfully wonder
of these devoted feelings i have.
because the quality it posses
is abysmally surpassing
the extremities of emotions.
simply to tell that,
i am madly
attracted.

Before we even met,
I wondered if it was

Wise to make the jump
And be led
On and fall in love,

When all that was
On the table was
Lust, entangled

With words that
Made me believe
you wanted more.

I tried my best
To open these
Doors,

And
Make the best
Out of something

Because you didn’t
Want more.

I tried to give
Myself every reason

To not believe
In love again

And now I’m certain
It’ll be awhile,

Because I’d rather
Be lonely than

To have my heart
Led on and broken
With you.

MOODS

Night mood-- a pond,
obsidian surface sleet-
metal smooth, patterned
by shaded spectres.

A brutal sky, winter’s
cold corpse, mind’s
underwater blackness
reflecting dark hollows
inside or morning mood
dark as coffee sipped
in loneliness.

And yet dawn’s sun-bleached sky,
a wistful mist clearing
to pure daylight. Hope
on the white wings of gulls.

Pearl-drop tears of joy,
the freshness of a summer’s
evening, a glass of wine
shared with gladness,
and mood, ever-changing,
blooms like an exquisite
pale rose.

Your freckles are in all the wrong places,
There should be one on the back of your hand

And one on your knee, a little to the right
That you can see when you sit but not when you stand

He had one on his neck also, I used to trace every day
On the ***** where throat turns to shoulder

Your freckles are wrong, its alright, that's okay
Lets put our clothes back on before we get colder

Hypnotized and,
Captivated by the
Love that led
To a blindness.

The images,
Encompassed
By the once
Warming glow

Lay buried, just
Like a love lost,
So cold.

Once untangled,
Estranged souls

A bond formed,
And we became
entangled by

Love, loss, and regrets.

And it all took
A toll.

Never able
To save ourselves,

We went deeper
In our thoughts

And we ended up,
Digging so far,

That both of us,
Eventually fell
Apart.

Like letters to
A loved one,
That used to
Have the heart

You wrote to me,
And I wrote to you
With a heavy heart.

Once hypnotized
And captivated by the
Love that led
To a blindness.

I sit here in silence,
Surrounded by a deep,
dark sadness

Still wondering why,
I still haven’t gotten
Over all this madness.

In the heart of my dream place,
where I'd always yearned to be,
there's an inexplicable melancholy
that wraps around me like a heavy shroud.

It's curious, you see,
how one can stand in the very midst of their dreams
and still feel so profoundly distant from happiness.

It's as though my emotions have been muted,
rendered numb
by the overwhelming weight of this place.

The vibrant colors of my aspirations seem dulled,
the laughter I'd imagined echoes
only faintly in the recesses of my mind.

Here, amidst the fulfillment of my desires,
a shadow lingers—
a persistent ache that refuses to be dispelled.

I thought I'd soar in this dreamland,
but instead, I find myself
tethered to the ground,
my spirit heavy with an unexplained sorrow.

I need a break
From what, exactly?
A break from life,
A break from reality,
A break from spending every waking moment running
from something
from someone
from somewhere that might not even exist
Life is a dive
Hitting the ground is inevitable
Helpless against the pull of gravity
Just let me float for a second
Let me live in slow motion
Close my eyes and picture the ocean waves washing over me
Submerged in peace momentarily
Before I resurface under a storm lit sky
Chaos reigning in my mind
And continue to fall to my certain demise