It's always when the magic hits that blissful ****** up buzz I'm alone in the bar putting up the stools up closing down as usal.

I always have one behind the bar light a cigar just soak in the silence .
It's then when it all comes back in a flood to me .

The faces of those passsed my brothers.
I pour a shot of borbon for them each.
Always making mine a double .

I imagine there laughs the bad jokes and great conversations we no longer share .

William always playing the jukebox that trademark laugh that could light a room.
Bob Warren cracking people up hitting on the women he was a one man sideshow and a old vet.

Bone .
My closest brother the guy who ****** everyone off and always made me laugh .
We'd talk for hours kick back the drinks and torment everyone around us.

Cause if we didnt **** with you.
We truly didnt give a **** about you.
I had burried them all as alone now i stand .

The smoke hung in the air as i saw them all and for a moment i wasnt alone.

It always hit hardest on nights like these .
The women will all leave you .
Love is a fire that burns beyond are control.

But the memories are the tressure bury them deep only to dig them up when you are alone .

I drank each shot as one by one they vanished from sight.
I do not believe I can bury another .

I guess in all truth I hope the next is me..


I closed the door locked it behind me the air outside was frozen.
My breath shown on the walk home.

I was alone .

Sometimes the page is far more simple than reallity of this existence.
I'm glad to have shared one last round with friends .

We can write the ending.
But life always seems to see it a different way.

Cheers

Gonz

And then it happened.
I came face to face with my ex.
Not much has changed from the last time we spoke.
When I was younger there use to be a sense of grief.
That somewhat odd feeling that overshadowed everything good in my life.
Suddenly watching the clouds go from bright white to a dull gray.
I hated thunderstorms back then.
I'd like to think that I've learned a lot sense then though.
Watching her eyeball me with a sense of curiosity.
Slowly learning the fact that I seemed to be doing a lot better without her.
You know those looks that reveal a lot without so much as a word being said.
She had plenty of those, often catching herself in mid sentence.
Her naturally low cut eyes now lower.
I wouldn't actually describe her as being a addition or nowhere close to a binge.
But more so one of those random nights you get hammered and wake up the next morning trying to figure out what happened.
No not at all. Again I am being modest.
If anything she was one of those drinks with a acquired taste.
The kind of drink someone offers you in attempt to try something new and though it tastes bad you still drink it out of generosity as it was a kind gesture.
Not at all stating that she was a bad person. No she was very sweet.
In fact I am glad that I had opportunity to bump into her again.
But a lot of time has elapsed sense then.
And seeing how time works I am no longer the same person.
Though I must admit,
First seeing her I was a bit puzzled, as those dark clouds that normally follow were nowhere to be seen.
Nor the crackling of a long drawn out bolt of lightening.
Both probably caught in traffic, Arguing over which came first.
If anything, she knew I had a high tolerance as far as drinks are concerned.
But again I am being corrigible.
Yet, this time I didn't miss the exit sign on my way out the door as normally I'd walk pass it twelve times, mistaking it for something else.
In a strange twist we neither dismissed each other nor omitted each others presence.
I walked out the door, while she was busy finishing what was left of her fiancee

She ended are chapter and i started the page pouring the soul in the cracks of a illusion .

Covering over are truths to erase are lies does the sunset hide all its beauthy?
Do rains flood lands to bury the wrongs once shown clearly as scars bleached by sun now decayed within darkness.


You can never own a moment claims of the vain are but attempts to hide the harsh reality.

I never let her see through my eyes as i will not allow you to know the man beyond the page.

Whatever you imagine is far more than what i will ever be .
Leave me hollow to fill in the expectations .

I wrote her out
she walked away

The story is a creation .
Life inspired me in some other way.

Nothing hides your pains better than a simple mystery.
She read my words when at that moment she abandoned remorse.

Art is best veiwed from a distance.

Edges best remain sharp .
And the reader a excepted intrusion.
Nobody wins today

We cast aside what gathers in are way.
People consuming souls speaking hollow truths to half empty minds .
The best is left for last  and me I'm simply somewhere in between.

Madmen preach as the ignorant run the show .
I can tend the fire but no longer can I sit and hold your hand.
The truths a harsh existence I thrive best in solitude than sharing my comforts in a sea of people just as ****** up as myself.

We cannot stand together when we  all think apart.
The lies have turned are minds inward left are eyes jaded to see the threat that exists .

No virtual environment will plague my existence .
As the road ahead forks and we were long since parted so lets not pretend we care for it was in the cards all along.

A walk through the cemetery  as cold winds approach .
We were never here to begin with and your dreams a illusion of the
downside of a bad trip to begin with.

**** what they will think!
For shackles of any kind are for the weak .
And my wounds will bleed till they heal or simply keep
me company till I die .

I shut the door long before you said another word .
This was are goodbye .

Glasses are half empty
sent sliding down the bar
as they clink together
a tip put in the jar

Mood is ever changing
as people come & go
to have a laugh & cheer
& see the crowded show

Broken hearts everywhere
just lying on the floor
mine just left with you
walking out the door

If I had only known
exactly what you think
perhaps I would have waited
to order up a drink

Instead, I gulped it down
& chased you with a shot
it sizzles all the way
my insides burning hot

I'm really not a lush
can handle what I sip
except for in the words
that cursed those pretty lips

I'd like another kiss
I'd really like to know
I guess not meant to be
it seems you had to go

I might just be here waiting
but then again,
  ...might not
cuz' unlike this here drink
my heart ...
  it can't be bought.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I checked the mail everyday hungover feeling like **** probably looking just as bad.
The mail clerk always looked at me strangely .
How's the writing going ?

I had made the mistake one time of speaking to her one day.
She saw I was always sending out envelops to different magazines it was a small town what can I say she was a nosey *****.

Well I'm almost making it I replied to her walking out the door.
It must be great seeing your words in print .
I don't know when they are I will tell you what it's like I replied .

I  was standing at the door more than ready to leave get back home mix a drink and start my routine all over again.

She looked puzzled .
You get so many back surely you must get some things published .
There rejections they always are.

Aww come on you haven't even read them yet .
I'm psychic I don't need to read them.

How come you keep sending them out then if you know the result?

Well you see just like women turning me down I seem to never tire of asking besides if I badger them long enough just like a woman in a bar after a few drinks maybe I just might get lucky.

She just looked at me .
Well you have a nice day MR Robbins.

I left made my way home  happy I could make the nosey ***** uncomfortable I never understood peoples need to know everything I loved my privacy I hated social networks there false ******* happiness all on display it was like a store window all fake all ******* mannequins and fake smiles .

It was never reality besides who gave a **** what you had for dinner !

I sat the mail on my desk or on that over crowded thing that I believe once was a desk  .
Mixed a gin and tonic and began the self abuse that was reading rejection letters .

Most were the bland same **** .
Sorry to say no , We have to pass sorry and good  luck .
One was a card not even a rejection slip these people were pros to bad the women didn't hand these out at bars .

Dear sir.

Thank you for buying me drinks all night making crude jokes while staring at my ****.
Sorry to say not if you were the only man on earth and even if there wasn't a battery left in this world for my ******* .

Sincerely
Valarie  .


Now that would at least be good for a laugh I thought .

I got to the last one some little college paper known for there edgy ******* .

Dear MR Robbins  

We are happy to inform you on your recent  submission to us.
We will be publishing your poem.
A Good Day To Feel Slightly Bad .
In next months issue of are paper thank you again and please feel free
to send us more work.

******* I thought to myself.
Now how would I ever face the post ***** again knowing that I was a total fraud as a psychic.

Well either way I was always happy to be wrong.

I mixed another drink I thought about telling friends about my recent success.
Then I thought to myself.
I really didn't feel like making any today .

Cheers .

Gonz .

You could be my glass of scotch,sans soda
sparkling like gem stones on rocky ice
or
A tiny shot of tequila,besieged
in a castle of glass,pleading
not guilty through out
and
I could quaff you down
my parched throat, like
an elixir,
stung by fearless wisdom ,but
just for tonight.

So, let me drink
you through words,
one at a time
   right words,
     wrong words,
         sensitive words
    and
   insensitive ones,
So many words.

So, let me taste
you through my fingertips,
taking down to you mine
through each flip, like
a token of appreciation, against
generosity bestowed,
none plundered.

So, let me drown
into paras, undulating
like sea waves, on seeing full moon.

Let me sink,and
get high on them, but
Forever!.

-Pallavi Goswami

The handshake comes much quicker
Than it used to in the days
When he held his liquor better
Those times are far away
"Let me shake you by the hand"
he'd bellow in the bar
But, now his grip is weaker
Than it once had been, by far
He used to drink 'till closing
Now, two beers and he is done
He no longer knows his limit
He no longer drinks for fun
The drinks control his shaking
Keep him centered, full of hate
Once he shakes you by the hand
It means things aren't so great
He squeezes hard to make you hurt
Trying to show what he once was
But it only shows his smallness
It accentuates his flaws
Mr "Let me shake you by the hand"
Is in every bar we know
He's quiet when he gets there
But he's loud when time to go
He no longer rules the table
He's just an old drunk in the back
He used to be the favorite
He no longer has that knack
He'll always be a little man
He'll never look you in the eye
Mr. "Let me shake you by the hand"
Will be the same until he dies
In his mind he's full of power
But his body shows what's real
A strong wind would break this man in half
I can't guess how his wife feels
Two beers can change his being
From someone pleasant to an ***
"Mr. Let me shake you by the hand"
gets drunk and turns quite crass
If you ever go out drinking
And your evening is planned
Leave...and in a hurry
If you hear ...."shake your hand."