Take me away,
To a place of no pain,
A place full of love,
A place full of grace.

Take me to the flame,
Bring me the fire.
Don't want the shame,
Only my desire.

Where is my call,
When is my time?
Why try to stall,
Why try to hide?

Just want to leave,
No one will know.
Wish I could flee,
But I'm stuck in your zone.

Give me the rash,
Give me the burn.
Better than trash,
Better to learn.

Let me try,
Let me fail.
Don't care if I sigh,
Losing my sail.

It may not last,
You'll have to leave.
But I'll still laugh,
I'll still sing,

When I remember the times,
When I still have the dreams,
Knowing the lines,
Recalling the things.

They play in my head,
Like a sweet lullaby.
Everything they said,
Every tear I'd cry.

I'm praying for hope,
Asking for peace.
So I don't grow cold,
Just cause it's me.

Things I'll never say to her...

I grew up being both loud and quiet.
I grew up speaking but was never heard.
I grew up seeing but was never seen.
I grew up helping others only to be back-stabbed.
I grew up proud but clouded by shame.
I grew up with writing because it was healing.
I grew up told I was ugly, never beautiful.
I grew up thinking I would never be good enough.

In short,
I grew up a rather lonely, sad, broken little girl.

I told others to keep going but I never followed
through with my own advice.
Hence my philosophy of,
"It's better to walk away than fight and be right."
Which is why I don't like arguing.
My doubts were so big that I was trapped
down a well,
drowning in my
LOW SELF-ESTEEM
DEPRESSION
ANXIETY
FEARS
PARANOIA
and wearing my heart on my sleeve,
all the while.

I didn't see who I was in my reflection,
I just saw negativity and I would cry uncontrollably.
I know I can't get back the time I've lost.
I can't restart my life with a push of a button.
I'm still a girl in a woman's body.

If only I knew everything I know now
when I was...
when life was more simple.

I want to feel proud enough that nothing
that can bind my wings.
To everything I dream.
Everything I want to be.
Not just lil ol' me.
Scared little Lyn...

As the sands of time run,
wisdom comes with every deed I do.
Every mistake I made.

...
Deemz 1d

I keep having dreams of you,
and they're absolute nonsense,
well,
you're absolute nonsense,
please let me be,
leave my dreams be
nonsense, but without you in them.

Kind of have been dreaming about a person for months now.. and I hate it. Nothing makes sense, why are you in my dreams?

"what if one day,
i'll wake up not
seeing you again?"
                                     "that won't happen.."
"that's what
he said too."

I was kept in dark room
no flash of light gloom

Was this was my end of my life
I wonder thousand times

Dreaming, breathing aimlessly
hoping how I will be free

Silence was in dark
brightness in the stars

I look through the sky
flashing back my life

A dancing girl
with hair of curls

We shake hand
in golden land

We ride a unicorn
with a fluffy horn

Was it was my dream
I said while sitting in my unicorn seat

A lost dream. A dream so strange. How to solve this dream
Sam 2d

The darkest of shadows are creeping in again
My cold heart begins to give in
Sorrow strikes tonight
I'm ridiculed by falling rain
I seek solace in the words you never say
This absolution of loneliness
Completion of a broken heart
I've been kissed by sadness, and it's spreading through my veins
I've been kissed by pain, and it's tearing me apart
Somewhere in the darkness, you will find my soul
The remnants of me, fall with broken dreams
Eternally cursed to tumble where the light will never shine

I want what you have
I want your dreams; the ones that scare you shitless
I want your secrets; the ones you can’t share with anyone
I want the thoughts that keep you awake at night; the ones that excite you
I want the ideas you want to share; the ones you know you never will share

I need what you have
I need your arms around my waist; the arms that will never be there
I need your lips pressed against mine; the lips that mine will never touch
I need your dopey smile smiling at me; the smile that will never look in my direction
I need your stupid ugly khaki jacket around my shoulders; the jacket that will never be near me

I wish that I have what you have
I wish I had your idiotic confidence; the confidence that I will never get back
I wish I had your insanely smart brain; the brain that has put up barriers against me
I wish I had your annoyingly inappropriate jokes; the jokes that you stopped telling me
I wish I had your ability to captivate the world; the captivation you no longer use on me

I yearn for what we could have been
I yearn to have an unconditional love; one that will never break
I yearn to have uncontrollable kisses; ones that we are unable to stop
I yearn to have cheesy promposals; ones that make everyone jealous of us
I yearn for extravagant valentine's day gifts; ones that make me want to scream and cry

You don't want what I have
My dreams; the ones that will never happen
My secrets; the ones that will tear people apart
My thoughts that keep me up at night; the ones that can even terrify me
My ideas that I want to share; the ones that would wreak havoc on everyone

You don’t need what I have
My thick messy hair; the hair that constantly falls in my face
My dirty brown converse; the ones with the laces falling apart
My empty grey eyes; the eyes that stare straight at you watching you ignore me
My annoying voice; the voice that says bitchy comments to protect herself from your friends

You don’t wish to have what I have
My brutal honesty; the honesty that burns bridges
My crazy distrust; the distrust that worries my mother
My unbelievable pessimism; the pessimism that causes people to leave
My need to control everyone; the need to control that consumes all of my thoughts

You don’t yearn for what we could have been
You don’t yearn for unconditional love; not with me
You don’t yearn for uncontrollable kisses; but with her
You don’t yearn to give cheesy promposals; you would do anything to be with her
You don’t yearn to give extravagant valentine's day gifts; you would give anything to be with her

No matter how much I want...need...wish...yearn for you
You will always be wanting, needing, wishing, and yearning for her more
She is the pulsing red dot you are moving towards
I am barely more than a blip on your radar.

you still
show up in my
dreams at
night.

this is
not
how i wish to see
you.

black
the color of my defeat
a sinner, never an angel
a darling fallen from the heavens
with her wings ripped off, cast into darkness
her hair, the one swipe of scissors
even if it was a dull blade

I'm hanging on the ceiling
hoping I won't fall through the floor.

Dreams are crazy, aren't they? I feel like somehow they're a distortion of our lives, all mashed up into one.

In a strange sort of way.
I've always wished that we've gotten together.
Be it a dream; that we would speak in hellos than good byes.
True love by means of evolvement.
Maybe I shouldn't think of you this way.
To bootleg myself in what I truly believe.
The hope of every possibility.
Your complex occupation.
To say what really matters.
To truly inspire in the midst of what we truly feel.
Consciously low key.
Eyes that take for granted that you'll always be there.
Maybe this is what I low key deserve.
Now knowing to be heard.
The difference between listen.
On another note.
I don't know.
I sort of always thought that would be fire.
To think of you as mine.
To hear the depth of truly knowing how free we are.
Our phones unlocked with complete sincerity, with us humbly mumbling somewhere in the background

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