It has been so long
so long since I last paid attention
seems like I gave up
you have taken control
now am glad

I lied to myself over and over again
I convinced myself that you loved me
But I was wrong
You showed me how wrong I truly was
You have officially broken me
I hope you're happy

How can anyone know me
When they don't even know my name
How can anyone teach me
When all that they crave is fame
They don't know how my world destroyed me
They don't know the monsters I struggle to tame
They don't know me
They don't know my name

He made me feel low even at my worst
He made me feel worthless
He made me feel pain
He made me feel unwanted
He disrespected me
He was never honest
He said he will always change
He would call me mean names
He would yell at me for no reason
He made me think that I couldn’t live without him
If things didn’t go his way there was no way.
He was always cranky
He made me cry every night
He would hide everything
He would always accuse me
He try to destroy me
He would call me crazy
He did so much to me that I thought one day he would change
Don’t ever burn yourself to keep others warm cause at the end it’s only you ! It took me years with being with this person to realize he was never going to change .i up lifted my self from this toxic relationship and left it hurts to see people are just heartless and love to take advantage of people and sometimes it has to do with mental illness and trauma they had in the pass lady’s and men don’t stay in a toxic relationship run as far as you can !I made a promise to my self that I would never look back to what broke me at one time.

Sun, don't be mad if I hate you in the summer. You still are my favourite thing in winters.

Grass, don't feel any less greener if I smell the flowers. You are still my barefoot, long-walk mate.

Thank you for asking all the hard questions
that I tried to answer but you never believed me

Thank you for that ring you dropped into my bag
the golden one with the intertwined hearts

Thank you for making me love the wrong way
each glance like someone that doesn't hug back

Thank you for darkening the sky over my head
with your horrible grinning and coaxing and breathing

Thank you for begging me to tell you what's wrong
so I can fashion a fantasy of black hoodies and grief

Thank you for letting my lie to your face
slipping through my teeth under lips with a smile

Thank you for making my poetry crumble and
become rambling lines about love

and other awful things
that kind of don't
matter when
it gets
down
to
it

I don’t know who I am anymore.
I look in the mirror and don’t recognize whoever is staring back.
I don’t remember the last time I saw myself there.
It must’ve been a long time ago.
I keep asking “what have you done with me?”
Or “what have you done with him?”
But I only get a question for an answer.
Somewhere in my travels, somewhere along the way.
Me and myself stopped, and I guess I decided to stay.
So please help me find him if you could,
I only know the name, I just can’t remember the face.