I never meant to run
You never meant to hurt
Neither of us never mind to do that

You said it was just too okay
I guess none should be alright
How could you just keep your eyes shut,
While in the same time one begins to die?

You would never care
For I never stop to try
You would never realize
Unless I keep away and hide


Darling, that's how i ran away
Dont look for me even for awhile.

Dec, 23 2015.
I'm done with you.

I don't disappoint people,
I just take them through lessons on why they should never have their hopes raised too high.

Falling for hyper-fit gym rats.
Salivating over straight guys
Dating guys who never once
Looked me right in the eyes.
Much too easy to be picked up,
It’s almost like they know I am
The perfect dupe for one-night stands;
The sucker for the guys that scam.

I’ve had my wallet lifted once
My car stolen one time, too.
I have lots of phone numbers
Nobody is connected to.
I laughed at all their jokes and
I bought all of the drinks,
And never once did he seem
To want to know what I think.

It was all so very mellow, then.
I told him my name when we met.
But within a half hour after that
He forgot it, I would place a bet.
He never introduced me to
Any of the guys who said hi.
There might be other reasons
But I think he forgot is why.

Once I thought my problem was
That I was being much so easy.
That good guys weren’t attracted
To someone that was too ******.
But age and wisdom taught me
Being needy is dating poison.
So, I’m slowly but surely learning
An extremely humiliating lesson.

Dear Father you are the reason why my mom is in shambles
You are the reason for my constant rambles
Father your words were harsh to mom when spoken
Father you made my mother completely broken

Dear Father you said you loved me but you hurt me
But instead you did nothing but desert me
You tried to put up a good fight
And thought you mended the pieces of wrong and right

When we spoke when you was in the hospital the other day
I realized what you told the love slowly died away
I felt in that you did not care about from the start
That is when it all came back me really just broke my heart

My hatred for you has ran wild
When you mentioned you have another child
How dare you rub it in my face
You never loved me in the first place

You selfish and cold hearted man
You did not stand your ground, but instead you ran
Dear Father how can you do this to me and feel care free
You asked only about my mother instead of me

Dear Father as bad as I hurt I still love you
But as far as i can see is expressing my point of view
I had to deal with my mother's  emotional pain
Her was flowing like the falling rain

Her sadness had drove me insane
I felt I was more at a loss than a gain
That she was afraid of a gentle touch
You ****** the life out of her so much

My mother is happy like the rising sun
I barely forgive you for what you done
Now my mother is longer alone
I hope you can apologize and attone

Even though I sometimes stress
I do not love you any less
I can settle for you taking care of my sister and give this a rest
I love you father and wish you all the best

I find that certain evasive
nobility missing in her character

She is a well polished diamond
that can never shine;
Abundant confidence, so little material

Wait, wait, wait you'll say
She'll wait wait
Then she'll fall in the end

I can’t listen.
My mind is a prison.
Tears fall down my cheek.

My confidence weak.
No appetite to eat.
Thoughts race and prevent me from sleep.

Bags under my eyes.
Whats that in the sky?
They tell me its just a phase.

ADD isn’t real.
Why is this such a big deal?
Little do they know it ruins my days.

Can’t focus in class.
Teachers think its a load of crap.
No one understands that this isn’t okay.

I try so hard.
I studied all night!
But I always seem to fail.

Look at my medication.
Look up the facts.
When will they realize ADHD is real.

Reality and daydreams.
Which one is real?
Which is more important;
The lesson in class, or the color of my nails?

My confidence; frail
My complexion; pale
My mind?
A jail.

But I put on a smile.
Make life seem worthwhile.
Because once in a while I can finish a task.

But pretending i’m fine.
Missing homework deadlines.
It’s like i’m hiding myself with a mask.

Don’t get me wrong.
Some people have it worse.
At least I have a roof over my head.

Although i’ve cried.
I’ve never considered suicide.
But others wish to be dead.

So treat me with respect.
Break the stigma.
And educate yourself.

ADHD is real.
It’s an unfair deal.
So you can choose to understand mental health.

I don’t have enough focus to listen.
And thats what your missing.
This is not a choice, this is something I dread.

So next time you judge me.
Next time you label me.
Remember, some with ADHD wish to be dead.

I'm never good enough for you.
Got a job,
still not good enough.
Get good grades,
Still could do better for you.
Killed myself..
finally good enough for you,
but it's to late I'm gone now.

I didn't mean to let fear rule,
But the destruction and disappointment
That runs rampant around me
Is a plague among vaccines.