I do not need you to love me
like an insecure youth.
Life has been cruel
and taught me that such words can be mute.

I do not need you to hold me
each and every night.
I have learnt that such demands
can drive one further away.

I do not need you to change me,
or me to change you.
Such actions are poignant
like a steak through the heart.

I do need some sense of security though,
to know that you trust me
to be there when you need me
and when you don't,
and for you to do the same for me.

As long as our hearts may desire,
and faith that when they no longer do,
that I will be a sweet fading memory
for you.

My mouth is guided to a pasture of white roses
The momentum of the unseen builds like a sparkling night

The dark shadows unhinge me as the stone wall stacks like bricks
The vines wrap around its crevices and webs into spontaneous paths
My mouth guides to the light as my eyes roll back

I decide to stick my arms to my chest and feel the light of dust roll onto my arms
Push, Push, Pull
I drink the light as my body is closer to full exposure of it's power
The tingling of teasing is so close
My heave to reach to the top of the rose garden is extraordinary
I push and pull with every arm, but every time my mind is more excited I become weaker
My mind is foggy
The roses are now blooming into red, and the night is changing into day and the lure of the mysterious is straying it's luster
As my weak body touches the top of the Stone Wall I split my legs into two and dangle my legs with the faintness of falling between the stone wall.  

The moment my mind feels the light on my nose I fall back
I fall back into a dark black ground
My body rolls around in the ground as I find more ways to feel more sorry for myself

I am depressed with rage and sorrow

The light thickens into blackness and the roses begin turn into a darker more deep blood red.
I see my hands pick up the blood from my lips as they drip red, blue, black, and purple
I see my eyes as they puff up into black and my skin peels back into so many layers of rough edges

I wanted to be seen! Oh how I wanted to see the light of day! I wanted to feel the skin on my cheek.... I wanted to be seen in the light for what I am.

The stone wall held me back

The wall covered in roses took away my skin and gave me a different pair of eyes.

So I am looking at myself in the black water shielded by the sun, who is this body? What do these eyes want you to see?

They want you to hear the unheard and see what you can not.

Actions are words at deeds,
Feelings untold,
Feelings unspoken,
Actions are worth better at showing.

Love is a building tool,
Hearts breaking,
Hearts leaking,
Love is still a mending wool.

How do you say these words felt?
When is the right moment to voice them?
What hormone builds such a desire?
Will these emotions ever die?

Words Unspoken,
Hearts sealed,
Love leaking,
Thoughts hindering.

Words untold,
By a heart dreading,
To a heart unknowing,
For a stranger unseeing.

Why do desires  turn to space when you go to grab it, Then beam on your neck as soon as you walk away?

I can feel that a rivulet of my unsaid desires has pleased my inner demons...

You are beautiful to me,
and i never told you this
but the way your scars
light up in the sun just
proves to me everyday of
how incredibly hurt you are,
and i hope it's not because of
me because that would break
my heart into a billion pieces.
and i pray that one day you
will open your eyes
and realize that what you're
doing to yourself isn't right
because you deserve the world
and i know that your cuts
sting because mine do, too.
but we can mend eachother's
wounds while lying on the beautiful
quilt your mother made the day before
she killed herself
as we watch sad movies at two in the morning,
crying our poor little selves to sleep.
not only crying because the movies
are devastating but because our
lives are.
the desire to want something better
for ourselves is torturing,
because we all know
that'll never happen.

You came across my presence like a blowing wind,
A fair stranger I've met a couple of moments before,
You sang softly words that gave life to my hopeless heart,
A kind of feeling none ever made it explore in thoughts.
Could this be love?
''No'',my brain says,
But the heart denies that.

"Want you to make me feel like am the only girl in the world"
You sang,
I gave a longing look without response to your words,
Your voice, the gleam in your golden eyes,
Your giggles.All this you don't know I think about.
But I what gave you was nothing so you don't see my heart.

Who is this girl?
I still search through my adventurous  heart,
I seek only at the places I've seen you before,
I wonder if you did mean your very words,
Is thee willing to see the monster in me?
Where will I the hermit get the strength to give you me?

Part one and two
                                                       I
She looked …how?
Like she’d been broken,
Her heart, has, now
Been lost, stolen….

By the sting,
And eyes that hide,
Overwhelming,
Hidden lies.

Like a rose,filled all with spikes...

                                                    ­    II
Red and green,
It's all a lie,
But desire,
Kept her high.

All is carpe,
And diem,
Regret meets after,
Home, the sin.

Follow pleasure,
And you will write,
A love letter,
Filled with lies.

I got a flustered mind.
With a cluster of dreams,
Got a bundle of hopes,
With no time to fulfill
I need peace,
Is that all I aspire for?
Been so edgy lately,
Don't know what I am tired of.
Connecting and disconnecting,
This motion is very disappointing
I said it right,
Even when I wasn't strong
Things get farther and farther,
The ones you desire the most for.
Nothing is wrong,
Yet everything seems not right
These jumbled emotions just aren't divine
I am not hallucinating,
Neither nostalgia got me this time
Yet something is weird.
I wish I could find
What troubles my mind