The hate you keep inside won’t help you float.
But you cling to it, so below you.

Push it under you, to get above the waves.
But eventually the swell will drag you to hell.

Cling to it so below you.
It’s weight will stretch your arms.
Drag you down.

Down into the undertow. Against progress.
So vile, repugnant and insipid. You rot.
Your fingernails leave scars on hate.
You cling to it so.
But shout opposed to such accusation.

Now low enough the crash of the waves blind you.
Squinting through their spray, you struggle.
Treading in denial as you try to pull your hate to breast.

I’d reach out to you, if your hate wouldn’t drag us down together.
And we’d be clinging to something so below you.

--I wish I gave this to you, I wish you would read this, and if fate would have it, you would. I wish these feelings would not still be true, but they are, and maybe... just maybe yours might still be, but it's been so long. Too long, but here it is--

Don't go, my Belle

I feel the atoms vibrating within my body
and named it your sweet touch
I see the stars, when your lips intertwine
in a silky embrace with mine

I cannot lose it, I love you too much
Forgive all my flaws, it's not a crush
I promise you, for in all my life
I'll find a way, for you to be my wife

I know that for if we'd be torn apart
The angels would weep
and I'd be cursed with no sleep

You are like my *******
and always stuck in my brain
Yet the thought of you keeps me sane;
So please, let's just go kiss in the rain
I'll take the demons from your brain

Baby let me hold you, and keep you safe
I'll fill, your blank half, to the grave
I'll always make you feel alright
never again, will we fight

I love the way you look in red,
and I love, you choose black instead
I love your nails, coloured blue
I love your "I love you"
I love it that your socks are green,
and your room is never clean.
oh baby I love you
and everything you do

Baby please... oh please don't go
for to live without you, I don't know
and when the rain calms
I'll hold you tightly in my arms

I'll hold you until we're grey
I just don't hope you'll ever say
I don't love you anymore

i find a friend

and once again

i trip and then im lost

he waits for me and makes me tea

the next day out im tossed

she loved me dearly, heart and soul

but messed up was her mind

so once again im stuck in bed

no friends for me to find

he never understood my moods

but his eyes saw in so deep

i felt connection every day

but he was a friend i couldn't keep

next one was tall and boss of all

but she always kept me safe

all day long she'd yell and yawn

so i couldn't hold the pace

last one was very special

we both had shared a dream

hard to handle, much to bear

tearing at the seam

i have this terrible habit

i really need to break

trusting people with your heart

is more than it can take

Go there for your rota
There for your orders
Fill up the quotas
We'll bill for you quarters
Report to your foreman
But watch for construction
Cause if you get hurt you've damaged our property

Did you not read the Company policy?
That defines you as the Company's property
That waivers your say in autonomy
The conglomerates got you in lock and key
We put the dollar back into idolatry
If you're upset you can rent an apology
We're a family forged in bureaucracy
No I in "team" but there's "con" in economy

Were you expecting rights?
Were you hoping for fairness?
My friend you're indentured and pleasure's exempt from your tenure so venture back down to your slum
That's provided at generous prices
Your worth is determined by your sacrifices

A small term of service when down of the surface
Interment's a freebie that comes with the purchase

We work
To earn the right to work
To earn the right to give
Ourselves the right to buy
Ourselves the right to live
To earn the right to die

I know
it may seem
like things aren't
ever going to be alright
but in the end,
time will prove
you wrong-
it always
does.

Wrote you a haiku
and all I lost was a small,
small part of myself

7:23 AM
5/3/20

You keep pouring sorrow
into my glass that is
already full.
You pour
and you pour,
until it overflows,
and then you pour
some more.

One soul
and one heart
is not enough to
contain all
of this
sorrow.