The minute I set foot in that room
A feeling fills me with doom and gloom
The thoughts begin

The very act of being present in class
I'm immediately in competition with everyone.

The prof speaks
I am weak
Look at all of those smarter people around you
Why can't you be like them?

I don't understand these automatic inclinations
That tear me apart
That make me fear and despise school
That make my heart beat fast and want to run out of class
That make me feel like an absolute fool.

These feelings were constant in first year.
Yet I ignored them, endured the pain.
Hoping from perseverance there would be something I could gain.

I discovered that I still did well.
I did excel,
WHAT THE HELL.

I don't understand how someone who is so anxious and lacks so much self esteem can do well.

But why don't I feel any different?

My mind is constantly lying to me
I'm exhausted from the disordered thoughts.

I don't want to be a victim of my mind.
My self confidence must become more defined.

When a person is loved
That doesn't define him
But I wish my love defines you
Or at least tell you this
You don't always have to change for the person you love.

Let my love for you remind you
That you're beautiful
You're strong
And you'll be loved
Because you're you.

Let this great love
Reflect who you really are
Bring out the best in you
Give what you deserve
**Let my love define you.

noun*

one hundred
the number after 99 and
before the thousandth

one hundred unsent letters
written and burnt and a couple of more still kept abandon

one hundred unsaid confessions
of how I terribly miss you
that exchanging of sweet nothings wasn't enough

one hundred at failed attempts of reaching out
that I think we weren't working things out on what should be
but still kept the fire at bay until the breath of earth had fused the rest of the littlest dust

one hundred of miles apart

one hundred of flowers laid next to you
even hundreds of aching hearts were entomb - they never became the same
and a couple of more hundreds ever since your departure

—you were one then became a hundred of versions
but I will never forgot the first I have grasp from

I wished I have known you better
and the rest

noun*
the first part of something,
of everything
the feeling of oddly new, strange

like new years
for a brief moment, maybe
if you'd asked me? oh boy,
it never felt like one

it was just days and months replacing what we once marked on calendars and places
and saying, "this day from last year, " or the other,
explaining every detail how we witnessed every sunset at the same spot at the park
drinking the same coffee from the same cafe
meeting in places where we started
from talking for the first time to crossing out the words from our ultimate getaway list

new years isn't just a beginning
"don't make the same stupid mistake again," someone would've said
such as me,
to the millennials
to my clan
to you
to myself also
to the entire population
reminding us to keep on living once in a long time
"you could do better," perhaps

The greatest gift I could ever receive is being yours.
I want to call you baby and let you know how happy you make me.
I want to be able to hold your hand in public and show you off.
I want to be unafraid of the future.
I want you to know I'm listening when we talk.
I want to give you all my love, forever.
I want a definition of what we have.
What we are..

..Because you are my everything,
And I hope I'm nothing less.

Present in the present is the presence of the present, which makes the present moment in time very much conspicuous by it’s presence.

Define what you want,
get into the insight of the things that need to be done,
thereafter start with the process of getting things done one by one.

Present in the present is the presence of the present, which makes the present moment in time very much conspicuous by it’s presence.

Make use of your presence of mind so as to reap the maximum benefit from the present moment in time with regards to everything that exists in the present.

Every opportunity brings along with it an element of risk,
identify, recognize and accept an opportunity as an opportunity and not another way of doing things.
Once an opportunity is accepted, then the responsibility of dealing with risk comes along with it.
Make sure you know everything, each and everything and all when it comes to the process of dealing with an opportunity.
Also make sure you know the importance related to an opportunity, since as and when it is striked upon, it will enhance the scope of future.
Every opportunity brings along with it an element of risk, deal with the risk involved in it so as to make sure you know what exactly lies in that opportunity.

Present in the present is the presence of the present, which makes the present moment in time very much conspicuous by it’s presence.

Everything that belongs to you is what makes you who you are.
Think of what is there for you in the outside world and gradually the scope with regards to the present and future will become narrow.

There are two ways to it, either you know the thing or you learn the thing,
but even in doing so time is a major factor that will bother you.
So better be what you are, understand the same and in the process you will learn that presence of mind in the present will bring the much needed change with regards to present and also in future.

Everything with regards to the outside world will change only when the approach and attitude changes and this will happen only when the importance and value of time is agreed upon and accepted.
So understand the importance of present in your life,
the importance of it’s presence and more so the importance of the present moment in time.

Present in the present is the presence of the present, which makes the present moment in time very much conspicuous by it’s presence.

Definitely life continues to move ahead along with the present moment in time,
searching for viable options,
possibilities,
confirming at the same point in time if there is an opportunity,
if anything amongst all seems to be there,
not only the present moment in time will get defined,
but also it will pave a definite way to deal with an uncertain future.

Why is it me?
When there are others to choose from,
What makes you see me?
Different then I see myself,
Why do you define me wrong?
Why don't you see me,
How I see me?
Why can't I see,
How you see me?
I am define as broken,
You define it perfect,
I define myself pathetic,
You define it as caring a lot,
You don't see me,
As I see myself,
When the door is shut,
You can't see me,
Why do you define me so differently?

They tell me not to define myself by
My height
My weight
My skin color
The color of my eyes
The state of my clothing
The money in my pockets

But how am I supposed to love
Everything on my insides
When everyone else defines me
By what they see?