When I started loving you, the rain started coming and didn't stop falling for years. It eventually turned into a storm and destroyed what was left of me.
The room I'm in became suffocating, and the walls and the ground became colder. The alcohol tasted better than what I feel, and I drink and drink, hoping that the cure for this madness is at the bottom of one of these bottles.
The days got shorter, the nights got longer, and I think the sun has lost its shine because I've been seeing dark clouds outside my window for a very long time. The night sky became starless, and I think the moon ran away? and I go outside and walk and walk every night on this empty street with that orange light thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I walk more, I'll get tired and I'll eventually wake up from this nightmare.
The tears didn't stop ever since, and the cuts became deeper. The blood from my skin became comfort, and the pain became better than anything else. I think my sanity has left me and I hear myself screaming. With hands on my hair, voices in my head, telling me I was wrong, and that I deserve all of this. They say that you are right for telling me those hurtful words, and I'm starting to believe them because maybe they're right?
My hands got shakier, and everything became unstable. The corner of the room became my safe haven, and my heart is wilder than ever, escaping from my rib cages, will go anywhere, anywhere but from here. I'm in a state where I don't know where I am anymore. I just keep on bleeding and bleeding and maybe one day, all of this will stop.
The screaming of my heart will stop. The blood will stop. The pain will stop. And then I will be able to look at you in the eyes and finally say, "I don't want you anymore."
But for now, let me rest my head on my knees, blood dripping from my wrists, sanity slowly slipping, and my heart losing.
