I talk to her at first
Indeed she filled my thirst
She told me her name was Jane
And her favorite color was green

We chatted like we know each other then
And now we are destined to be again
I'm happy I found her here
Though worlds to me remains unclear

It's time to say goodbye
I glanced at her I saw her cry
Our morning walk was done
The best walk ever second to none

And now to make the story short
Just like me
Jane possessed these
SCHIZOPHRENIAN CURSED...


written: July 23, 2014

Mysterious Aries

As it gets overwhelming he hit the wall with his fists
and prays silently

" why god? " , he wonders
because he sees his soul in bits


Dreaming is a curse
in a land where the good gets the worst
in this trip we're out of lanes
and no reverse

She worked like an aromatherapy
and affected him like a curse
he won't be able to escape

I'm not hard,
I'm scared.
I thought the cherry was the birch.
When the cloud cleared
I was still afraid.

At my best
I accept death
As a necessary search, wary
Of philosophies
That assign us souls but not the trees.

Nonetheless
I want long life, yes,
I want to plant my seed and walk the wilderness.
But not yet.
First I must just sit.

Sit and feel the pain
That keeps me sane.
Eat my meal quietly and remain
A guest
In the body I know best.

This morning in the east
The sun rose on the lake. Again
I breathed. I was blessed
And thought to say
Life is not a curse.

__________

A burdensome emotion burst
Dates are being curse
Playing dark games like infinity
Just to lessen this insanity


Pen turned into blade
Eyes red need a shade
A fake smile for survival
To simply hide views about suicidal


Blame fate for this horn
Scars of many thorns
A life he resemble to a naught
Simply pessimistic thought


Followers of great hand want to touch this soul
To save him from gates of hole
Simply a name not in list
Still at the end he penned his wrist



written: November 28, 2014 at  11:00 pm
Mysterious Aries

Shall I watch high to see the birds?
And wish that I could fly along
Knowing that I am in a curse
Why does this feel so wrong?

Shall I listen closer to hear the waves?
And wish that I could play their sound
How can it not be safe?
When I’m here getting drowned

Shall I take a breath just to smell the breeze?
And wish that I could kiss it’s chill
I only choke up when I breathe
Suffocating, but I’m still

But I still feel sand packing in my toes
It wishes to hold me, I cannot go

Just one cut,
During the night,
Crimson red that feels so right.

Drops that last all through the night,
Your only friend,
A shiny knife.

The ones you love,
Only judge,
so no one knows,
The horrible curse.

You start out young,
Then move on,  
The marks are deep,
The scars are long.

The ones that stop you,
Care the most,
The ones that don't,
Just let you go...

You try to stop,
But thoughts come back,
You mark again,
It's not your last.

You are the smart,
You hide the marks,
Beneath layers of cloth,
In hidden spots.

The very next day,
the thoughts come back,
It starts all again,
the marks are back,
that forever last

Only some,
Who truly know,
The life of having a horrible curse....

Everytime, every single time they ask me "why?".
Why dive into the ocean when you know it's too deep?
Why walk the path though you find it too steep?
Why kiss the fire if you knew you'd burn?
Why did you go if you knew you'd return?
Why leave the track and find yourself lost in a circle?
Why did you help them only to feel them trample?
Why trust while you know it tends to rust?
Why do you care while no one does?
Why go to war when you know you'll surely die?

I never knew the answer.
But, there's one thing I know for sure,
This curse of mine has no cure.
I only hope that it is for the better.

My body is a curse,
A boundry I cannot cross,
for tommorow it will be a bless,
my body is a cage,
my mind the captived one,
my body is like a prison,
for my very own soul