A tarnished fire
Loathe to burn and reluctant to subside
All perishable moments hide
Desire reigns in its monopoly
Of lust greed and avarice.

Logic binds truth to proofs
Passions bind reality to power
Power oozing from one wound to another
Violence upholding peace
Vengeance at the crux of justice.

Peeling off layers of presumptions
The nakedness of beliefs
Voiced in chants of supremacy
Sprinkled with the blood of pointless sacrifices
Purified in hate and prejudice.

Morality is as flawed as mortality
Susceptible to as many ailments
Yielding to the  whims of time and memory
Moments pass and monuments erode
History is retold in fantasy.

(C) Anavah 2019

You attended the beginner class
But I was going to get you to my level
When the kids got the
Hang of the lessons
It was time
To teach you
I knew that you wanted kiss me
I know
I wanted to but
The children where right there
So I tried to be business like
I tried to should how throw someone
Which was successful
But you brought me down with me and planted a gentle kiss
On my lips
I couldn’t stay mad at you
But I was
Stunned and surprised
The other students
Where floored
Making kid remarks
Embarrassing
So I cut the class short
And walked home
You my beloved
Went to your friends
But did not know that
When I got back to our love nest
I found a love note
Explaining that
I took the time to wash off the embarrassment
And then I feeling better
I put on sensual yet dark lipstick
And put on
The top of my uniform
Climbed in to the bed.
While waiting I read some very wierd books
Until you came back
You noticed that I read your ****** books but
Did not get angry
Instead you put on
What was an Indian bgade horror flick.
And some hard rock
The movie was not in Hindi
And it was a ****** mountaineer
Who hacked his love interest and other was with an ice axe
This was disturbing
To me
You said that I will get to like it
While the grosem movie was playing
You noticed I was still “dressed”
We kissed gently
Tenderly
And then we made love
I was repulsed by the movie
So I had looked at your many
Yet different tattoos
You kissed me and said that
They were everywhere on his
Body
I kissed them
As if they were parts of your personality
And
You said “Claudia, you’re lovely with just that top on and your fiery hair!”
You kissed my thighs and
Womanhood
You said you wanted my “forbidden flower blossom” and kept kissing me there.
When I It did blossom
I took you by the chin
And kissed you
You were feeling me under the top
And you were worshiping me
With love.
You said “my rose sorry for scaring you with that film
I though you would love it, love”
And
I jokingly told you to behave your self
In tomorrow’s class.
The next morning I got up
Looked at the slasher flick
At wasn’t in Hindi
Nor Russian
And definitely not English.
I then had breakfast
But you had a one track mind
Pinning for me to come to you
“I am a martial arts prodigy
I need to eat love”
When I was finished I
Came to you made out with you

I told you that I had to
Go back home
To take a shower
To get off the sweat
And odd smells
We kissed
You said that you liked
My perfume
I left anyway
To clean up
When I was taking the shower
My mom sneaked a peak
Of the tattoo
And screamed ****** ******
When she saw your name
She screamed louder.
When I dried off and dressed
My parents said called me every thing
And told me to empty out my room and leave
Which I did
I was crying walking back
To your appartment
When I got in you were
Playing with a bell and a mini batton with two bubbles on it.
You looked up
I started to sob and told you
That I was disowned
You kissed me
I could feel the sensation of your piercings
When I said that I had to start
Teaching karate
To kids while still learning
You said that that was your dream
I said yes
And kissed you
I welcomed you
To the classes and to watch me
We then made shy love
Until I had to get going.
While we kissed I played with you
Then left after getting dressed. You were late for my lessons
And I got worried
But I carried on
Then
After class you
We’re leveling in the alley
And we maxed out and you gave me a silver rose ring
Ask for my hand.
I cried and said yes.
We headed to my new home
Yours
We spent the night
Watching films, listening rock
And making love.
You got out of your clothes
Without problem
And you and you
Laid me out
And kissed me
Touching me while
You took my uniform off
There in the semi dark
We made love
And kissed slowly
Until the morning
We slept in
And woke up smelling our musky
Perfumes.
That got us going
And we made love again
I told you that I loved your “perfume”
And you said the same about mine
Got carried away
And breakfast was out.
We spent the day 69ing eachother
As sweethearts
We were loving
But you were skilled
We spent the late afternoon
Laughing talking and breathing heavy.
Your blond but blue hair
And my red set eachother off.
If I didn’t now any better
I thought you had practice.

We talked in the morning
And I told
You that my strict parents
Are suspicious
And then I sobbed that they though
I Was ******* my sensei.
Then
You told me you were disowned
Because you left the army
And that you were buddhist.
“Rose, I have parents who hate me too. “
You went in for a kiss
I left my non karate friends
And started hanging out with you
And your buds
As the days pasted
I got to know your
Nickname
“Freakboy”
And your interests
Other then me
One day I spent the day at the
Getting a tattoo near my side
Of ****** samurai swords
With your name in the red ink
You tracked me
Down
And
You took see a fight club
We spent most of the time making out inside of watching
For my sake.
I had to run to my class
And gently kissed you
And I left.
Later I showed you the tattoo
Which initiated tonight’s  
love making session.

One time you came in my class
The instructor got annoyed
Saying get that trouble maker out
I told him that if you
Leave
So will I
He couldn’t fight with me
But I did leave with you
That was the first time
I started seeing you
In your appartment
We entered heavily kissing
Your piercings sent me
Into a crazy world
In a good way
As we undressed
Before we got at the loving
Again
I had to call my parents
To say I was at a friends
Then you said something
Sweet
But my parents heard
And started getting suspicious
But didn’t say anything
So I hung up.
Came to you and kissed you
You quietly as what kung fu movie
And horror
That I wanted to see
As we made love
I saw kissed you
And said whichever
Was the longest
He said was the Kung fu
Movie
So I said then that’s the one.
You turned off the light
Turned in the tv
And vhs player
And some punk
Music down low
And we started to kiss
Embrace eachother
And you managed to enter me
I asked what attracted
Attracted him to me
With You Russian accent
You said “I like compassionate female martial artists.”
Though this was your first time
As well as mine.  
I said that I was attracted to
Guys who
Had piercings and were rebellious
All we watched movies and made love
All night
It was wonderful
When we awoke
I kissed you
Asked if you will be there
You said yes and I left for home.
When I got home
Mother called me a *****
Because she called all my friends
And
I wasn’t with them
“Are you ******* your instructor?”
I said there it wasn’t her business
She flew into a rage
And said that I was ******* around.
“It better not be that Russian boy!” She yelled.
Soon I got angry left for the day.
So it was the end of the class
And we saw eachother
Again.
And soon I spent
More and more
Time with you
Or in the karate
Class.

That night before I left my class
I noticed you
But was not creeped out.
For you were cute
With your electric blue hair
And your ****** piercings
That and you were my age.
When I  left
I grabbed your wrist
To you to an alley
To make out with you
I asked if you were ok before kissing
You told me that you lost
A fight
In a sleezy fight club
Usually I don’t allow that
But apart of me felt
Sorry for you.
So we shared a kiss
Your lip piercings sent me
Into a passionate frenzy
The kissing got heavier
And we started to embrace
And feel eachother up
We whispered to eachother
As we made out
You whispered that
Your friend got you into
The fighting scene.
I thought so
Because you were gentle
Sweet
Awkward
And loving
Yet slow.
When we parted
Your name was Boris
And my name was Claudia.
With in a month
We kept meeting like this
Until you gave me a home
In your ****** appartment.
We were in love.

Soon she was called into
For a job interview
At the FBI
And she gave her whatever resume
She had
And that she spoke in tibetan, Japanese, Russian and of course English
They told her she was accepted into the academy
4 monthes of shear hell
But she has been through worse
And she proved her metal
And passed
Not she was an FBI agent
But celebration was short lived
When she went to
Bed
In her dreams Boris haunted her dreams
She did a lot of good and saw action
But lived as a loner
And wrote to her daughters
Though she couldn’t bare to see them
For they reminded Claudia of her first
She just hope that they never saw her sketches
One October day
On the year of 83
Claudia’s tragically cut short
In action
Before she died in her hospital room
From complications
Of being shot
She sat up
Mediated
And breathed out Om mani Padme hum
And drifted off
Not a care in the world
For she was with her
Beloved Russian punk
In shambala.
In paradise.

In the middle of the night
Claudia
Was reading tearfully
The note that her love sent her
Saying:

My beloved rose
Since you left me
With out you
Or our child
I decided that I was niravana was
You my beloved
And you have left
A hole in my heart
When you read this
I will be in shambala
And I hope you join
Me when you are done
My lovely rose.

When she finished reading
She wrote an note to her partner
That she was going away
And that she would keep
In touch
When it was morning
Claudia was at the airport
Not to Tibet
But to DC.
where she will do
Who she will become
Was beyond her.
She toured around her new city
And found the fbi building
Something drew her to it
She knew that
They were now
Hiring women
And took advantage
That’s who she willl be.
If she makes the cut.

The next morning after their morning loving making session
After whispering sweet nothings to eachother
Boris said that he going to announce that
He at a young age had found enlightenment
She thought her scronny tattooed lover was going to do that
Claudia said that she loved him
But since they came here
He went insane
Yet was still loving
She realized that she had missed her period three months in a row
Could she still teach
While carrying their child.
Could she take care of them
Here in this waste land
She thought know and she
Called her tattooed monk that
She was carrying his kid
Claudia then she she was going to open up a dojo in
Upper manhattan
To make a better life
For her and the kid
She kissed him farewell
Feeling those piecing for the last time
And turned her back
On the punk Lama.
When she arrived Claudia left
Her beloved
In Tibet
And wished him well
She also found out that she was having multiples.
When she got to a doctor
Claudia stayed with her friends
Until she gave birth
Made a name for herself again
Every night she cried herself to
Sleep
And dreamed of Boris
And in the day she took her
Sketch book out and
Started drawing tantric art
Who involved her and Boris
The friends asked
What happened to him
And she said
That he was happier in the mountains
And she couldn’t live there
For the sake of the children
When it came time to give birth
She had for daughters
To whom she promised not
To breathe a word of their
Father.
Over the years
She got stronger both emotionally
And physically
And the girls grew up
Like wild flowers
When the daughters whent to school
She opened her own dojo
And found another
Who her daughters called
Dad.
She never told him about Boris
Trying to pretend like they
Never met in that alley
Once a upon a time
Then her new husband saw the tattoos and the name
Who was Boris
He asked her
And then as the children slept
She said that she
Was once in love with a street punk
Who dragged her
To Tibet
And he lost touch of reality
She said that he was called Lama Tashi Surya
But she knew him as Boris
Claudia cried and then tried to move on with life
Until her one of daughters
Discovered in the mail
A letter in what she called Egyptian
And normal
It said that her husband
Lama Tashi Surya
Killed himself
The letter in tibetan was both a love letter and suicide note.
Her and her new husband
Got the others around and
Told the daughters
Of their real father
Lama Boris as Claudia called him.
She found the only suitable sketch of her beloved
And showed it do her daughters
Claudia felt like it was her fault
That the love
Of her life was dead.
She closed her school
And went to be a secretary
First she was a martial arts expert
And mistress
Then some insane punk’s lover
Now a mother
And wife.
She had to leave her passion karate behind along with Boris.
She framed the sketch and
Hung it up
Above the tv so when her daughters
Watched cartoons
They knew where they came from.
From time
To time
Claudia still had feelings
For the Russian punk
Who rocked her world.