I am Dr. Jekyll but I have a Miss. Hyde,
Miss. Hyde i struggle each day & try to hide,
It’s a constant battle, a constant war,
I feel it want to crawl out from my core

I wear my masks, the faces of happy & bright,
To hide the bitter inner struggle, out of sight,
Long ago due to pride, my soul I would sell,
I feel Miss. Hyde waiting & wanting to break-free & rebel.

Miss. Hyde, in the mirror I see its sinister grin,
A creature born from a prideful sin,
Lurking, I know what it wants, I know it’s biding its time,
Watching & waiting for a moment of weakness to climb.

It comes with a malicious voice, it starts to speak,
When night falls, I cannot let sloth take over & be weak,
Miss. Hyde whispers, its urges to be let out is strong,
Filled with greedy wants it knows is wrong.

But i resist & i fight to keep it in its cage,
Miss. Hyde hates it with a wrathful rage,
I lock it up, i hide the creature deep,
But its gluttony is overflowing & can seep.

My freedom it may envy, but it will never see the light,
So let Miss. Hyde’s madness shout, claw & bite,
I will tame the beast, as I alone hold the key,
To keep Miss. Hyde from running free.

In the depths of my despair, it lingers there,
Miss. Hyde’s lustful wants are hard to bear,
But i choose to be good & do what is right,
Even if for the rest of my life I must fight.

And I may have sold my soul,
Miss. Hyde may try to take control,
But i battle on & will never yield,
I still know right from wrong, that is my shield.

So i will strive & no sin will i abide,
Though Miss. Hyde may reside inside,
And the creature may try to get into my head,
I’ll tame the beast & never will I allow it to be fed.

I am not alive, although I am not dead
I need to sleep in a coffin not on a normal bed
I can also sleep in my earth’s dirt & mud
I don’t eat food, i feast on warm, juicy blood
I have very sharp, pointy fangs that glisten in the light
The only problem is, I can only come out at night
I dare not go outside in the day as i burn in the sun
But surprisingly I do have all sorts of fun
I am classified with other mythical creatures
I don’t believe, I know I have beautiful features
I have decades of knowledge; so, I tend to be smart
I can be killed by a sharp stake right through to my heart
I can also die if you cut my throat or cut off my head
I can make you feel either desire or dread
And hell no, I do not sparkle, I am a the macabre & heartless
I am a vampire; and I reign the darkness

I open my eyes but am blind to the sea
My ears are filled with myths
For no creature could lurk in the abyss
Perhaps I should have paid the fee

The air is denser than it was yesterday
The sun is refusing to shine
And the lonely sea continues to whine
Six more nights till I see May

I try to sleep at day
To be prepared during nightfall
That’s when I hear him call
Five more nights till I see may

I’m getting closer I think
Based on my supply of food
It’s not lot looking to good
One more night, I say on the brink

He waited for me to reach the bay
Where he rose larger than the sun
There I knew I was done
Here I almost made it to May

I'm pleading with the operator all in vain
There's no one there
Could be operator error
It's only ringing, no one answer for my pain
Lies tend to be faster
Not everyone's a good actor
See what I see, a monster with my same name
A new breed creature
Science doesn't get it either
Sanity fleeing and impostor steps into reign
A hostile takeover
Over 'n over but over in short order

©2024

I always forget to remember lessons from the last failure, therefore I'm forever havin' to start all over, my own personal torcher chamber
It creates this culture of fear that I can't get over, the chip on my shoulder staked on the bolder that's already there
A taunting whisper on loop saying it'll never get better, cursed with bad days, one after another
Try to fudge the numbers, facts don't lie but memories blur, every passing day recollection gets harder
I had this thought in the shower, your heart beat is just a countdown to your last breath and death is just a new beginning to forever
Should I still follow my dreams if it's a recurring nightmare? Only the loser says the other didn't fight fare
Only the winner gets their name in the paper unless it's a smear campaign so staying out of the conversation is safer
Where's the line between assassination and ******? And what's the difference between an unwanted guest and intruder?
Does a lamb know about the slaughter? Does the hand know it can take a life without being given an order?
Which is shorter I wonder, the path to greatness or to a personality disorder, my dark passengers a backseat driver
So it's all in how you frame the picture, have a nice day sounds less threatening than enjoy your next 24
Who decides what will occur? How much more can I endure? Roll the dice and hope they don't shatter
Matter of fact I pray for just enough to make it to the next day not knowing there's no listener
God ain't there and if he is he doesn't care or doesn't know the answer either
Either that or he to has given up on this fallen soldier all together, abandoned by my supposed creator
I don't make an hourly wage, I sell chunks of my life for pennies on the dollar
Some one, somewhere is listening to the last song they'll ever hear
Could be me, right now, right here, no way to tell till after then it's to late to alter
Masking anxiety with witty banter, no alter ego just another dark passenger, this time he's riding shotgun like one in the chamber
One personality is hard enough to keep front and center, take one down but there's always another, I am just fodder
The split is wether to move forward or quit all together, don't know which is better
Tried divide and conquer, another failure, tried to find a new harbour but couldn't pull the anchor

Got control of my anger just to immediately lose the battle, instantly falling outta the saddle
I thought I wasn't supposed to get more than I could handle, I guess that's just another cryptic riddle
Starting to feel old testament biblical, the punishment for mistakes are astronomical no matter how miniscule
Almost feels personal, maybe I'm part of some sadistic ritual, forced to be a part of it, no consent, held against my will
Little did I know I could walk away and be okay still, no one told me the rules making every move futile
Trying a different approach, going vocal, begging for mercy in vain but hopeful
An ineffectual campaign, the struggle was always inevitable, my thoughts not believable
Not even a credible witness to my own life, how is this even possible?
Well, cranial damage is plausible due to hitting every obstacle head on, brain almost falling out of my skull
Life is the train light at the end of the tunnel while I'm mid tunnel on a stationary bicycle
Rock bottom was the pinnacle of my life, cynical doesn't even begin to describe what drives my mental
Keep it all in to avoid the hospital, trapped lightning in a bottle but couldn't get a grip on its broke handle
Already sold my soul, not to the devil but to the people and the return on my investment was far from equal
The colossal difference was they got the best of me and I was left an empty shell
Tried to fill it but it now looks like a landfill, a trash receptacle, the overflow of garbage unavoidable
Completely full of hurt and pain, I pray there's no sequel but I just saw the preview commercial so I guess it's ******* official
But even before dress rehearsal I took myself out of the circle knowing it wouldn't be merciful, devouring me whole
Besides, the demon inside stole the show and convinced me I was evil and deserve to not go any further than my current window
I accepted it cause it's all I know, brittle and fragile, will I made it to another day? Doubtful, the outcome predictable
If written out the how come would be longer than the bible so just take my word for it so you're not liable
Life itself is my rival, and now spiteful has replaced delightful and forced the downward spiral
The life or death questions I scream at the sky come nightfall are being treated as rhetorical
And there's no capable Oracle these days so I'm on my own to wrestle this powerful, never ending dose of trouble
Stepped out of my comfortable bubble once before and it was brutal
Promised myself never again but it's not that simple, every attempt pitiful

Wish me luck

©2022