How do I feel today?

Not too happy, I imagine.
Not at all sad, I feel.
No anger, no hurt.
Not even nothing.

What should I write today?
No stories or memories.
My thoughts are extinguished.

You can create when you feel nothing
Because of that.
You feel nothing
But you can't create
or express
When you feel nothing.

As I sat
And wallowed
In my good ol' depression puddle
I felt a lingering need
Bubbling up inside me.

Wanting to surface.
Needing to surface.
Inevitably, well, surfaced.

"Create, create!"
Was all it said.
So I created.
The flowing of my pen
unto the paper
Felt like a dream.

And an endless dream
It would become.

And sometimes, all you need is a push.

Traveling through dunes of sand
You'll find in the dusty corners of my mind
There is a door
Behind that door
The Glory of God is no more
The water is gone
And the prayers we pray
Are not heard.
It's wooden and worn
The floorboards leak through my eyes
Through my fingertips, and through my mouth.
Why give this corner such power?
Cause this corner has power over me.
Defining lines and colors
Speaking little things to me
Hoping I go back.

this life is not what it seems
we are nothing but flesh and blood
poets and writers and storytellers
liars and cheats and frauds
pick and choose your destiny
redefine your purpose
you are more than you know

seek and seed your mind
probe for truth to feed your soul
help you learn and grow

I've been tryna get to sleep at a decent time
but when the clock hits 3:33 I awake and have to write
If I don't it's hard to lay back down and close my eyes,
I know you see these dark circles but it's become something I just can't fight
Ask my old girl, even she knows I'm an insomniac
She probably didn't know this but when she would sleep, I used to write poems with my finger on her back
I wasn't massaging her to sleep, I was writing myself inside her dreams
But that's not about nothing, just something I used to do to try and get myself back to sleep
but here it is 3:33 and I'm not quite sure of what to write anymore
and I know that I will wake up in the morning and not remember this at all
I just gotta write something
Even if it's nothing
My mind won't rest until I've written a few lines
In order to lay down I must lay down these words if I wish to get back to sleep tonight
So please don't mind me
I'm just an insomniac who loves to write...

Hard shall be your days
Gloom shall be your nights
To bring you to that point
The point of creation
A love hate situation
One can't exist without the other
No sorrow
No creativity
Depression more than a companion
Pain is your gain
Salty tears you shall cry
Carry your burden and blessing
To obtain your title
The title of ARTIST
While others admire or criticise
Often misunderstood
Always evolving
Always saying
This is my finest work
Until your next creation
Only free for moments short lived
For a fleeting moment in the spotlight
A brief moment on the stage