Can you hear it?
The silence.
Everything begins there—
in the spaces between our breaths, where our words stumble, break apart,
and dissolve in our blood.
Everything begins in these silences,
when we simmer beneath the skin,
when our dreams bubble, brew, billow, then boil up into storms
that rage just beneath our calm—
when our thoughts crash against the cliffs of our hearts,
swept by the undertow of what we want, of what we hope,
and of all the things we cope with.
When I’m taking pauses while I’m talking to you, the silence isn’t empty.
There is an intimate maelstrom that swirls within me, pressing against my ribcage.
I feel the tides twist, rise, then fall—
I feel the ocean ebb and flow—
I feel its throb that thunders like war drums in my chest.
I feel… every word I hold back, every word I almost say
like a ripple that never crests,
like a wave that never breaks.
But I like silence.
Because, I also see a glimmer in it.
I see the shimmering sway of ideas.
And I feel… softness in their rolling—
softness like the backwash kissing the shore with its foam.
Sometimes… I wish I could just remain there,
nestled in that brittle fold of silence forever.
But sometimes also, the cotton of silence wrapping around me feels so comfortable
that my thoughts become deafening,
and they pull me down, trying to drown me within myself.
So quickly, in a desperate gasp for air—
I feast on noise.
And suddenly, I crave it.
The way the world roars. The way it crackles.
So I melt into its chaos.
I want to feel its pulse, its pound, its music.
I want to drown in the drunken hours.
I want to feel my heart rise with the loudest nights.
I want to cling to laughters that veil all the cracks I try to hide.
I want to stuff the silence—
as if only the noise could save me from myself.
Yet—no matter how hard I try to escape, the silence keeps coming back.
And every now and then,
Life punctuates itself with tiny bubbles of quiet.
…
Like this one.
…
But not all silences feel the same.
There are the ones I share with her…
the wordless seconds lost in her gaze.
The silent glances.
This all feels… different.
These silences make me whole.
Whole, and yet somehow… incomplete.
Incomplete because I often dream of chiseling
from the marble of these silences—
from the air that hangs between us—
all the words, all the promises,
everything I feel for her…
This small yet enormous statue
waiting to emerge from within—
from the rhythm of my heartbeat,
from the waves,
from the storms,
from every crack…
From this silence—
where everything begins.
And there I stand,
fingers trembling, mouth dry,
a chasm yawning between us.
And all I yearn for is to set it free—
This simple
“I love you”.
