What photos must I shoot How many cigarettes must I smoke
It is scary, but - I want to embody the things which destroy minds
Summer vibes feel like radiation
Use this alcohol to eradicate The proposition - that I will be ‘okay’
My phone is on airplane mode
My ambition is floating - as a feather might - Down to the depths
I cannot finish my own sentences
Bury my expectation with my religion
And it’s funny Because I have resolved my mind to avoid romantic confrontation But, alas - I do day-dream Of a girl’s face & hair - for it has appeared in my dreams four times And I awake to Deja-Vu as her face appears in conscious frames So…
I can imagine & I can see, but - they have become one in the same Could not fantasize asking Your hand in mine
Oh how I wish to cry To sob in any light so long as you are in sight Someone to reassure me, that - yes “There is an end to the night.”
But I cannot. I suppress it in drives. In music videos. In writing. In self-speaking when I have only me to keep company.
Kick me off the team. I do not know what I need. If I could lead, as I once did.
But I have left concern in the refrigerator With empty bottles & cans Maybe I will return tomorrow to salvage the cents of my malleable integrity Won’t you reliquinish me of it ?
For I have sipped the poison of honesty Regretfully it tastes like honey Lustful - Fleeting - Sugary - Intoxicating