I am shocked by the question
to myself: who will comfort me?
Where are the arms

that rock me happy
and promise me a bright future?
With whom will I be safe?

.....Come on girl, there is more
.....under the sun, it shines
.....look around you, smell
.....the weather, you have your nose

.....your eyes, ears, and mouth
.....and your hands of course
.....not just for the love
.....of a man, of a child

But the world is so big
I want someone
for myself, a home

where I recharge
I want someone
to embrace, four arms

that feel together
that I am a woman
to love

Hush, little one, and get some rest
Don’t lie awake thinking you failed some test
Let me wipe away your tears, don’t be distressed
All who matter know you tried your best

i think of people as if they're stars
billions are existing, brightly shining
each star necessary to complete variations of constellations
but when one star dies out, you can never complete it.

much like people,
billions are existing, brightly shining
unaware of the purpose they have
blinded by other's lights they forget their own
forgotten brightness, they forget the purpose they have
in other's lives.

I look at the moon

for comfort, but it moves on –


moons comfort that way.

I will be alone forever
I will eat alone
And go to the abyss alone

They say every *** has its lid
And every book its cover
Everybody has someone in their life
that's what they say

Even villains have someone
Dummies and weirdos
******* and ****** bags
All around me everyone has someone

And I feel that I don’t
That my someone has passed me by
Without a second glance
Without mercy
My cover is gone and will never be back

But this is how i feel
And feeling has no logic in it
No math or statistics to explain  
How I feel is of no concern to the real world

Because if you think logically there are billions of women on earth
Hell there half of humanity
Take out all the to old or to young
And all those who are gay or a
And those who already know they don't want me
And vise versa
And you are left with a couple of hundreds
If not thousand
Of someone's who theoretically I could fall for
And they could fall for me  

And by god
That might be the most comforting thought I can have
At 3 in the morning

Through the closed window i stare

for hours and hours
things change and fly by
but i sit here in my room
watching through the window

at first when i was young
i saw sunshine
i saw the rain
i felt the disasters
and then i learned to be emotionless

watching through this window in my old rotting room
i learned to keep to myself
saying hi to a few people that knock on the glass
some people decide to visit inside
some enter through my window
while some through the back door
they appreciate me as i have many stories
and i appreciate them for they have some too
but soon they take notice of my room
and decide to leave

in the absence of people
and humanity in general
i learn skills of desire
and master each of them
jack of all trades
and soon after i attract
with this new fragrance ive obtained
more people start coming

friends

~

now seventeen
i am still watching through my window
but i leave it a bit open
letting my music reach the ears of souls outside
occasionally going out through the window myself to see them
and to enjoy the outside world like everyone else

more people knock on my glass now
more people come in
and more people enjoy me

my room gets brighter with all the candles they light for me
and many people are staying
and light me up
and keep the flames burning

the world still brings upon the weathers
and i try to accept them
for emotions bring out the real me
but i live in california
so sunshine is what i receive most of the time

now that im almost an adult
ill have to learn to leave this room
and live like the rest.