a lawyer's
batch in
a brief
if hiring
direly break
trepidation that
equality *****
when a
state of
confusion interrupts
rights to
a genuine
occupy of
love where
intent only
makes mark
in society

stress blooming forward
in chest like
erratic butterflies flapping
away
and thoughts spiraling
down towards
my stomach where
they do not dissolve
in acid, no matter how
desperately
i ache for them
to leave me

times when
i think about my
future - they are not
etched in stone, they
are fleeting and temporary and as
miniscule as grains of sand

how could they be anything
more than dust
when the possibility
of any greatness
or worthiness
or meaning
is so
tiny, so
small
as to not
even
be there at all

I Appreciate the Blaze and the Glory
To Die in Nashville Tennessee
It was a Fluke
But to have come this far
As the focus of much anger
Certainly its been reckless
But this is my way
I never ran at the first sign of Life
* *
For I am Known
For just 42 Words
A would be Superstar
I won and I performed
* *
I'll say it three times
Thank You
Although the Sickness now abides in me
I've left a Soundtrack you can afford
For Future Worlds
I'm not going to miss you

I realized recently

That my biggest fear

Is

Living a boring life.

Not necessarily a life full of regret,

But a life in which I never built my own door of opportunity,

Picked the lock

And stepped inside.

A life in which I never took the risks I knew I had to,

If I wanted even the chance

Of becoming a singer,

Actress,

Comedian.

Not that I mind the regular route,

But that one is already barely guaranteed in the first place.

I don’t even know what job I’d enjoy.

How can I continue like this?

Not knowing if I’ll be okay at the job I’m studying for.

Living comfortably is a luxury these days.

What if I’m not cut out for commission work?

I’m terrified.

It could all be a waste.

I just want to coast if I can’t be happy.

But what if coasting isn’t an option?

What if just managing isn’t an option?

What if I can’t do it?

The whole point is to find a better job, one where I rarely cry because I’m trying my best and it just isn’t good enough.

I hate this misconception, that Millennials are lazy.

I’ve worked my *** off, and I will continue to because that is required to survive.

I’ve worked harder at my minimum wage job than many at their 60k a year plus benefits.

I’m just worried that I’m making the wrong choices,

Because there is information I just cannot know as of yet.

And I could have set myself up for the best, right now.

But I don’t know what that is.