I see a boy underneath the bin
He prays desperately to a deaf god
Looming over I can smell his despair
Rocking back and forth in holy existence
Your prayer won’t save you now little duckling
Say I to the rat
But on he chants, on and on to gods and clouds and demons
He names them all, one by one endlessly chanting his desperate canon
Where are your gods now?
Do they serve you a merciful end?
I ask as I slash his throat.

Bouquet of pink roses wrapped in conversations
All I wanted was to see you happy and fill the vase
Your door will never be wide open for this affection
But I'm happy that I'm allowed at the doorstep place
Because I'm the lucky winner of past rejections
I'm bad at connecting strings and keeping bonds
Yet the doorbell still rings a welcoming sound
And when I stand on the welcome mat, the world warms
Because I'm the lucky winner in your embracing arms

a trembling child
a fragile heart
"handle with care"
he was labeled from the start
growing up
the tossed him around
rough words from dry mouths
the string was tightly wound
it was filled with cracks
band-aids and fissures
more fragile than a feather
lighter than a whisper
all he wished for
was for someone kind
to take it in their hands
and give it time
time to heal
so he could love
but to everyone else
he just wasn't enough

The phone is ringing, my dear
Please wake up and answer my call
I'm sorry we said these things
We should never have acted that way
Please tell me
Why do we always say Goodbye
When we don't want to lose our love
We've come so far and worked so hard
Is it really the end
I guess I'll ease the pain, Goodbye My Dear
There's a knock on my door
Calling for a life that I'm not living
I got your letter in the mail and messages on my phone
It's all a lie, that I'm not believing
As soon as your back you'll go missing
Before too late you'll be gone again, just like summer rain
This time I want to say Goodbye
There ain't nothing left of our love
We/ve come so far and worked so hard
I guess this really is the end
Nothing you say can change my mid,
I'll ease the pain and say Goodbye, My Dear.

Pretty sunsets and starry nights
Have nothing to do with me, but rather you
One look into your eyes, I see your beauty bright
Yet you seem not to notice, As if you had no clue
There has been others in my life
But none quite has your shine
So I dedicate this to you
The one who can cheer me up when the day is blue
The one who has made my me the happiest yet
As I sit with you and watch the sunset

I am a girl
a girl from the city
I am loud and noise
I speak my mind

You are a boy
a boy from town
you are quite and calm
you hide your mind

So I spoke my mind
and you weren't afraid
you spoke back
I was the one surprised

and since that day
you were the one
and you may be the boy
the boy from town

and since that day
I found the one
and I may be the girl
the girl from the city

bur right now
there is no  you and me
there is no city or town
there is just us

sometimes i wonder if ill ever find that one guy,
the one who will hold me tight on the darkest nights,
the one who wont judge me for who I was and sometimes still am,
the one to laugh with til we're both in tears on a Friday night.

I'm not asking for "the one", my night and shining armor,
just a good guy who'll love me and God right.

there are so many good guys, but none seem quite right.
and I don't think that's me being picky.

so maybe ill never find that guy,
and I'm trying to deal with that fact.
to find comfort in your arms alone, Father.
because at the end of the day, You're all I need.
but that fear and daunting thought still persists.