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healed scars litter my trashed body. my skin a mural, a testament, to my battles. i used to do it to punish. now i do it to feel something, anything.

oh to continue to cut
deeper and deeper
until i am no longer human.
but bones.

humans are no more than their secrets.
cutting into them reveals how disgusting or beautiful they truly are

i am a horrible person
numbing myself again
Are the bones in your
closet so itchy?
So itchy you need relief?
Do you need a relief from them?

Come on and let them out,
they need fresh air.
They can’t survive forever
with stale air in the closet.

Does it make you happy
to constantly buy more
bones, to add to the irritation?
Is it your joyfulness condensed?

Maybe they’re something that
you like to show off all the time.
You think the only currency is
in the unnerve you receive from others.
We cut one another
Down to the very flesh
While we miss each other
Deep inside our bones

Isn’t that ironic?
Why do we tend to hurt the ones we love (and vice versa)?
You are not the first to stand here,
shifting your weight from heel to toe,
listening for something that won’t answer.

This was someone’s altar once—
iron-veined and humming,
burning red under the weight of hands
that bent it to their will,
knuckles split and salted,
prayers exhaled through gritted teeth.

They worked like men who had no choice,
backs arched into the shape of tomorrow,
sleeves rolled past their elbows,
skin browned with the kind of sweat
that never washes off,
that seeps into the ground
like blood, like proof.

You were born too late to know them,
but their bones remember you.

You carry their names in pieces:
a slanted initial in your passport,
a jawline that sharpens the same way,
a craving for salt, for silence,
for anything that lingers—
but never long enough.

Time has worn them down
to a Sunday ghost,
a muttered grace before supper,
a name no one says right,
a thing you promise to remember
but never write down.

The rails are rusting,
but still they hold.
The ties are rotting,
but still they grip the earth.
The past is splintering,
but still it snags your skin.

You wonder if their hands ever ached
the way yours do,
or if the ache was different—
deeper, heavier,
rooted in something you can’t name.

You wonder if they knew
they were building a road
no one would walk back down.

And you wonder if they’d still have done it,
knowing they would fade into dust
long before you came looking,

long before you ever thought to ask,
before the rust reached the marrow,
before their prayers turned to silence,
before you let their stories slip
like sand through your teeth.
I will soak my mind in kerosene
and strike the match with my teeth;
I will burn myself to the ground
a thousand times
before I will become
the worst of my natural beast.

Only when there are no options
will the stinging vines trap me there
in the ditch of dark consciousness.
Only then will the mud at my feet
finally seize the rest of me
and feast on my warrior bones.
Not saying I don't like you.
Your skin, your hair, your eyes...
I'd just love to see your blood,
to taste your sweet demise.

I love your pretty teeth,
shiny, sharp, and red.
But oh they'd be so much sweeter,
tasting them while you were dead.

Darling, little Moon Beam...
shining so wonderfully 'Blue'.
Let me see your Bones.
Let me finally taste you.
cannibalism is a love laguage
M Solav Jan 23
Paved roads of cars that roam
Are sure to grow weary on my bones.
And there’s a high hill close to home
Onto which I seldom venture alone.
How I recall those many days of yore
When we’d go fresh out in the morn;
And up that hill now far across the globe
Would stare for short eons into the fog.
Written on February 9th, 2022.


— Copyright © M. Solav —
www.msolav.com

This work may not be used in entirety or in part without the prior approval of its author. Please contact info@msolav.com for usage requests. Thank you.
Kuda Bux Jan 14
The carrot and the thread are still
my calves and hooves, motionless
chewing on a bitter pill
eyes take in the stillness

A slight neigh to sigh a sigh
the usual sounds and usual grunts
the clicking tongue, a pitch too high
pavement castanet-ing
under screaming sun

The carrot and the thread begin to sway
my calves and hooves, they shake
chewing on spit and year-old hay
eyes that want to take

A step and a clack, forward I move
A step and a clack, the carrot too
snipes Dec 2024
Words may not break bones,
but they sure enough can break
souls
What does hate sounds like to you?
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