Why am I always being blamed
For all the bad things that happened?
I am really devastated,
Although I may not show it
Doesn't mean I don't feel it,
I have plans
Though I don't share it,
Doesn't mean I don't have it
I am really anxious and worried
So please stop questioning me
I want to set everything straight,
I am working on it carefully
So don't put me in a hurry.

All I want is you.. to be close
Any shape ... any form
Call it friendship ..
Don't feel ashamed ..
If I call your name
Don't give me excuses
We don't have to be the same
Cause I love you
I am take all the blame
Even I am insane

Dear sister,
I am to blame for the scars littering your wrists,
I am to blame for your sleeve clad arms in the summers heat,
I am to blame for the tears you shed
and the insecurities that torture you day and night,
I am to blame.

Dear friend,
I am to blame for the saddness that constantly follows you,
I am to blame for the days you spend alone,
I am to blame for your scars and burns,
I am to blame for the tears and screams
you choke on until you feel sick,
I am to blame.

I am to blame and I know that,
yet I still push you away and pretend I don't notice the hurt and disappointment in your eyes.
I push you away even though you are the two most important people in my life and the thought of living without you is unbearable.
I push you away even though I love you more than I could ever love myself.

And I dont know why I do this, even though the loneliness I feel without you physical hurts and gets so bad I keel over and want to scream
and fall down
and drink
and smoke
and do anything to stop the hollow feeling that engulfs me.
But I am to blame for my own saddness.
And I am to blame for yours.

There was a mystery
"It is one that many believe"
"And the few do not"
Its about everything
God
Devil
Us
And our world, we believe
In thing never seen, but things
We know, we question
Like a forgotten dream,
What is
Sin
Perjury
Hate
"Bursting a bubble"
The first two don't exist
There figments tales to keep
Those that may do bad stay good
What is
Heaven
God
Kindness
"Bursting the bubble again"
The first and second
Conditioning from birth,
We are but
Moments
In
Time,
Not on this planet alive then gone,
Don't think bad is evil, devil, sin
Good is redemption pure
Begets sin,
For we are the creation ourselves
Of both looking upon a higher power
For the good and bad within,
We must take stock of what we do,
For the only people to blame are
**You, me, them and him.

A sailboat in the moonlight?
and you?
Would that be heaven?
A heaven just for two?

Not if as you lean
your lips melt into dust
Your eyes no longer gleam
and your hands are quick a must

The sweet breath to stiff command
The gentle touch a rough restraint
A place where sea is the only land
And from my lips a hushed complaint

But the worst is not below the belt
Farther up it lays
Where things are thought and thoughts are felt
I realize in frozen dismay

Cruel hands work their way into my brain
With a whisper and fright
Leaving a black ***** stain
that lurks, mocks and snickers at night

The tears; my only shout
And even then I cringe
Nobody can find out
My cleanliness has singed