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Dameon Smith Feb 2015
My heart pounds in my ears
My breathing wracks my body
I can't think
I can't stop the
Panic attacks that attack me

Stupidest reasons
Lead to me crying
Lead to me screaming
Lead to me dying and
Nightmarish dreaming
Waking up sweating
Yet freezing cold
My heart squeezing in fear.

Always afraid
Always wary
Always watching out for
The panic attacks that attack me.

Hidden somewhere
A dark corner somewhere
My head in my hands
And a scream in my throat
Silent. No one can hear
No one can know
Quiet despair.

I can't breath
Though I'm trying
I can't scream
Though I'm trying
I can't quite get my nails through my skin
Though I'm trying.
Even seven feet below in the dark
In this state I can't
Reach my goal of ending my life.

My lips can't move as fast as my head
And my head can't describe what I'm feeling
My feelings are leaving me reeling
So confused and hopeless
Close to help but can't reach it
My lips can't wrap around the words I need.
Can't wrap around a simple "Help Me"

So I lay in my room
Hidden somewhere dark
And I let the tears
Leave their marks
On my pillows
On my sheets
On my face.
And I sob silently as the
Words I don't wan't to hear
And lies lead me away.
Silent screams and zero breath reaching
My shaking body and my
Panic attacks just attack me again.
User Not Found Feb 2015
Anxiety
Its a weight on my chest
Something too heavy to be moved.
Its death,
Drowning without water
But who reaches a hand to help?
Who bothers to see, tries to hear?
I can't knock on a door,
Or ask for extra napkins
I cant raise my hand in class
For fear of being wrong
Its living everyday
In fear of mistake
Not breathing
Aly the Pear Nov 2014
My motor skills are failing
The pen wobbles in my hand
and fights the flow
I'm making co2 deposits
and having oxygen withdrawals
Hazy thoughts like incense smoke
expand my skull and coat my brain in
a diaphanous fog
My heart is a thoroughbred
careering for it's life
Pleas tease my tongue
behind clenched teeth
as my eyes brew storms never to
cascade
Moisture develops in my shivering
palms
though my throat has become
a desolate desert scape
Free verse on how panic attacks feel to me
Suddenly the world stood still
Erupting goose bumps chill
Piloted by those who terrorize
Twin Towers they'd jeapardize
Emotions of shock, disbelief
Mourning, moaning and grief
Bombed by aircraft killing all
Extraordinary sorrow ... pall
Resultant heroes came to call

Eleviating pain where they could
Lifting to safety as they should
Everyone who could be saved
Venom's evil could not be staved
Even would we wish it to be so
Numbers trapped perished tho'
They will be forgotten not ever ...
Honored in tribute, remembered forever.



© Carmela M. Patterson, All rights reserved.
I chose a picture of the burning Twin Towers in New York City on 9-11
Big Virge Oct 2014
One ... Must show ...
.... " Composure " ....
when facing ... " Exposure " ...
to ... Ignorant Heads ... !!!!! ...
"Showing" ... Disrespect ... !!!!!!

Like those ...
QUICK to run ...
Their ... "jealous" ... gums ...
who ... ACT ... as though ...
They Fear ... NO FOE ... !!!!!!!

There's ... ALWAYS ONE ... !!!!!
who will ... succumb ...
to ... Provoking You ...
through ... " Shady Moves !!! " ...

The ... Type of Fool ...
who can't deal with ....

... " Truth " ... !?!

and runs ... A Show ...
that is .... " A Joke " ....
because their ... flow ...

..... Through .....
Speech ... or ... Prose
is ... Nothing More ...
than ... WEAK and Flawed ... !!!!!

The type ... who lick ...

******* ... ******* ... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A **** Type ....
" Neo-Fascist " ....
who keeps ... His ...

.... " ******* " ....
CLOSE TO HIM .... !!!!!

Just like .... George ...
and .... Mr. Blair ....

These ... "Evil Types" ...
are ... " Everywhere " ... !!!!!

Offering ... Bribes ...
to ... Dummies Inclined ...
to ... " Towing Their Line ?!? " ...
of ... " Corrupted Designs ! " ...

They're ...

Greasy .... Slimy ....
Sneaky ... and ...  Grimy ... !!!!!

The type ... whose death ...
Won't Be ... " Untimely " ... !!!!!

" What's Wrong ... with them ?!? "

Well clearly, they ....
Have got ... PROBLEMS ... !!!!!

Some ...
Try To ... IMPRESS ...
through their  ....
Use of ..... Text .....
when they should ... accept ...

that their prose ... is ...

.... " Worthless " .... !!!!!

"Classic" .... FOOLS ....
who make ... Wrong Moves ... !!!!!

Just to ... make you ...
Lose your ... cool ... !!!!!

When ... dealing with them ...
" Composure's " ... The Tool ...
that makes them start to ...

..... " Hurl Abuse " ..... !!!!!

and ... continue ...
to break the ... RULES ... !!!

" The Rules " ... of ...
....... The Game .......

that ... CLEARLY ... State ... !!!

RESPECT ... is ... EARNED ... !!!!!
NOT ... Taken ... OKAY ... !!!!!!!!!!!

These FOOLS ... can't take ...

" Truthful Wordplay " ....

So they .....
Choose to display

" Aggressive Traits " ... !!!

when clearly ... They ...
should ... Know Their Place ... !!!!!

Watching those ....
who ... COMMAND ... The Stage ...
with ... Ease ... Composure ...
and .... Such Grace ...

That ...
WHATEVER ... They Say ... !!!?!!!
Leaves ... Them ...

..... Upstaged ..... !!!!!!

" Jealous Ingrates " ....

who think ... because ...
You've ... Walked ... AWAY ...
that ... You're ... AFRAID ...

which is .... Ofcourse ....
Their ... First Mistake ... !!!!!

There's .....
ALWAYS ONE ... !!!!
who is ... So Dumb ... !!!
that their own actions ...
Leave them .... STUNG .... !!!!!!!
and in .... The End ....
cause them ... Problems ... !!!!!!!!

If they were .... " Clever " ....
They'd use ... Their Heads ... !!!
and use ... Their Pens ...
to prove that they're ... " BETTER " ...
than ... " Butting Heads " ... !!!!!! ...

But .....
They choose to ... REJECT ...
Butting ... " Intellects " ...
cos' ... They KNOW ...
that's a ... " Test " ...
that's ... BEYOND ... Their Best ... !!!!!

That figures .......

" Oh Yes " ... !!!!!

because they're ... " INEPT " ...

So they ... Choose to ...
Make ... THREATS ... !!!!!
as well as ... " Disrespect " ... ?!!!?
... " Respected Poets ! " ...
who they know ... write poems ...

Waaaayyyy ABOVE ... !!!!!!

Their attempts .... !!!

They think that they ....
are ... WINNERS ... !!!!!!!!!

When ... CLEARLY ... they ...
are ... SINNERS ... !!!!!!
who are ... Absolute ...
....... BEGINNERS ....... !!!!!

Who ...
NEED to ... Learn ...

to ... SIMMER ... down ... !!!

It's Not ... Their fault ...
that they ... are ... " CLOWNS " ... !!!

But .....
Threats of .... ASSAULT ....
May ... bring them ... DOWN ... !!!!!!

So ....
REMEMBER ... These Words ... !!!!!

They're ... WELL OBSERVED ... !!!!!

Their ... IGNORANCE ...
has ... NO DEFENCE ...
and just ... CONFIRMS ...

Their Lack .....
of ... " Depth " ... !!!

Their ... ARROGANCE ...
Drowns ... " Common Sense " ...

which ... In the ... END ...
They may .... REGRET .... !!!!!

Their movements ...
....... " SMELL " ...... !!!!!!!!!!

of ..... " Jealousy " .....
because they ... write ...

" WEAK POETRY ! "

That ... SHUNS Truth ...
and ... " REALITY " ... ?!!!?

It seems ... " The Truth " ...
Hurts Fools ... like ... THEM ...

..... " Therefore " .....
... " Their School " ...

is one for people ...
with ... " PROBLEMS " ... !!!!!

So .....
Now ... This Piece ...
has reached ......

It's ... " Closure " ...

The Moral ... is ...

when dealing with ...

" Human Insects " ...

Don't get ... TENSE ... !!!

If they choose ta ...
... " Taunt Ya " ...

Ignore them ... YES ...

and show .....

.... " Composure " ....
I'd suggest, A PRICELESS ... commodity ...
Right about NOW !
cr Sep 2014
everything i've ever known
turns to dust, spiraling in a
constellation of tremors and
hyperventilation and worry,
so much worry, and every
moment in which i exist i
can feel my heart threaten
to beat straight out of my
ribcage and maybe i
want it to.
Ella Rose Sep 2014
Anxiety.

It's human nature, you say.
It's normal, you say.
Everyone has it, you say.
Get over it, you say.

But you don't listen.
You don't hear it screaming at me at night.
You don't feel my chest exploding throughout the day.
You don't see the tears in my eyes from the constant torture.
You don't know.

My darkest demon is a whispering ache & pain that something is wrong.
That I'm going to die.
& one day I will.

She was beautiful, you'll say.
She was too young, you'll say.
No one even knew she was suffering, you'll say.

So listen. Listen close. Not everyone fights a demon that is easy to see--easy to understand. Don't judge another person's fears, because they aren't irrational; they matter. It's real. & it's alive.
Yv S Sep 2014
i hate the gritting of my
teeth and the swelling of my
tongue and the beating of my
heart.
Emily Tyler Nov 2013
I'm sorry
That I text you
At four a.m.
When
I
Can't
Breathe
Because of
Anxiety attacks.

I'm sorry that
I can't make serious phone calls
Or order at Subway
Around the corner,
Even though I know
I like thinly sliced turkey
And chipotle dressing.

I'm sorry that
I forget things like
Birthdays and middle names
And I'm sorry
That I don't know how to
Kiss.

I'm sorry
That you think
When I don't take a compliment
I'm fishing for you
To keep going,
Because in my rotting skull
That option
Isn't even possible.

I'm sorry.
So sorry.
That if you're
Nice to me
I will never
Ever
Believe you
Actually like me.
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