God, the concept is a highly controversial one. A subject of peace, love, war and bloodshed. A being that cannot be described nor conceived by human thought alone. What is God? It differs from mortal to mortal. Each person is shaped by their many different susceptibility hypothesis. In that their environment of social, religious and external factors would impact on their perception of things in the world. For example a child brought up with little kindness and love grows to be ever angry and insecure. God, is thus the same, if we are brought up with God or Godless or spiritual, in what manner do we view our own personal God? And how do we come to find him, her or them?

I found God, not in my upbringing nor in religion. But, within my sorrow. In my time of need God came to me. Whether through neurosis or supernatural happenings I cannot say. However, I do believe God is not found in the joy or smile of a face, but of the trials and strife we come to face in our lives. Whether through illness, grief, heartbreak, **** or whatever befalls you, you may find God or God may come to you. It is how you perceive it, is what really matters.

I found God truly, not just in fashion or in an elite manner to give myself a self image, but in soul, whilst I broke down. I broke down at university after years of suppressing my many demons. I shall not go into detail, that is rather tiresome. But I can say God gave me strength not through my Welsh nor Jewish blood, but through my willingness to survive.

My ability to carry on as we shall say, has made me see the world in greater vision. With understanding, empathy and of acquiring a more accepting nature. The days of misandry are over, the times of hatred towards religion are gone, and my angry atheist approach gave the wrong impression of my fellow atheists. I was once bitter and cruel, with hatred in God rather than disbelief, and hatred in those who worshipped and believed. I now understand it is to both love and respect the knowledge and belief of others, no matter what difference in the path we may take.

For I, believe we are ALL children of God. He or she or them is too great of a creator to judge us merely by faith alone. But by the pureness of our souls, by our selfless deeds and true intentions are we judged accordingly. A faithful Catholic will be purged if they may abuse the innocent child, a starch atheist may be accepted into God's grace through their charitable works. A heterosexual woman may be sinful for cheating, but a homosexual man may still be far more just and kind to his lover and thus far more virtuous.

God put me through hell, so I may come to understand heaven. As in what mankind may achieve if we work together. May we overcome the evolution of diseases, of global warming, the evils or abuse, ******, **** and war. The injustice of bullying and discrimination. God gave us a mind so complex and yet so flawed, so we may master it to his or her or their grace. Science is one manner of understanding God. Religion answers why, science answers how.

I found God, lying in my bed, a stomach in churning agony. A body battling an overdoes of a bottle of *** and a vast amount of painkillers. In the sweat of torment and nausea, did a white cool mist appear at my feet. It floated with grace and made its way to embrace me. Why you ask or how? How maybe due to my BPD or PTSD.

Why, is because hours before in a state of screams and suicide I shouted to God as I downed my pills and sliced myself up. I called to him or her or them, begging for help and aid. For answers, for questions but above all love. Thus, God came down to show me love. Even when I wanted to die, God made me live.

Belief is dangerous
It envelops the I into WE
Complicated by the fact
That every believer believes
They believe in the truth
With no one willing to back down
Wars are waged on the idea of God
Insidious as they are, these battles
Take on many forms, with body counts
That remain the same. Annihilation
In exchange for Assimilation
And a peace that cannot be.
For if my God is right
Then yours is wrong.

Few whisper in the air
On the outskirts of borders and labels
But are forgotten in the scribes of time
This dangerous and vindictive game
For which all believers are to blame

The dead weep in irony
At the hypocrisy of belief
In which thoughts and scripture
Are far more the same
But are unyielding in bloodshed

church bells going off in my head
ringing on and on
until I can't sleep and I kneel
just to speak to god
and I don't even believe in him
but I never knew
that the church bells meant you.

Though so well I hide,
And my life's a masquerade
Though, evеrytime I cried
And told: "That's charade"

Though many times I said:
"Don't believe my tears
My heart has never bled,
I'm cold, I have not fears"

Though acted as the happiest, see
Wore wide deceitful smile
When heard : "Go, live without me"
I thought : WIll it be worthwhile?

How easily can world colapse
When heard:"Get out of sight!"
You know, on the church steps
The atheist cried.

Though thought soul's eternal,
When heard:"Forever goodbye"
Stopped the song vernal,
Eternal soul died.

I've been driving at night
With every seat empty but the drivers
Hoping my mind and the road are the same
It seems to me I'm always in the wrong lane

Streetlights are the only illumination
On a dead and silent nation
I've never been religious
So my tires pray
And an engine's hum
To replace words I can never say

God as in asphalt ,driving to exist

I do not want an old man God sat in a throne,
Judging from afar with sceptre and gold
riding on a cloud, sombre and haloed,
stern faced, woolly warm beard stroking,
Michelangelo-esque nighty clad, run of the mill deity.

I do not want a Sunday morning liturgy reference God,
inhabiting musty buildings, documented within dusty books, out dated, out rated, out of duty once a week
(twice if you include the mid-week bible study),
appeasing a sick relative, reluctant, habit God.

I do not want a jolly nodding head back shelf of the car job, kitsch icon, only when it suits me, pocket amenity,
fashion accessory, hobby gimmick God; a God modelled
from routine and agenda and TV evangelism, a convenience style digestible man made allusion.

I don’t want a controlling egomaniac parent God, bent on
setting us unattainable goals and tasks then throwing
a tantrum when the model train set breaks; or a God
who is distant, self-righteous, passive and out of touch,
an elusive, reclusive, exclusive God,

I want an ‘I Am who I Am’ God, whose boundaries are so
immense that to trace them would destroy you. A God
who is completely indefinable, that every brushstroke
put to canvas, every conceivable melody whistled, that
every imaginable word uttered, would barely compare.

I want a God who to stand before would burn my eyes out, make my heart explode; that I would be totally devastated. Yet, a God who is approachable and approaches, a God who is in the here and now, surrounding, dumbfounding, astounding, a God with promise and hope you can taste.

A God who breaks all the boundaries and exceeds every
human expectation and limitation, a God who hears and feels every longing, every desire and creates opportunity,
empowering the heart that cries out, stilling the soul when it aches, a God of promise and hope and deliverance.

I want a God unlike any parent, friend, lover, sovereign, reckless in compassion and filthy with goodness, available and ever there. So dangerously loving, so excessively wise and firm, yet tender, knowing, emotive, compassionate, A God who takes my grief. A God asking to be found and worth being sought.

i used to pray once
when i believed in winged men
and life after death

God: Something everyone ponders. For the theist "what if he doesn't exist?" and to an atheist, "what if he does exist?"

What happens to me once I'm gone
I will be but dust, an echo of what I
was yes i never think of my life of what
I was and what I have now become.

I always believed in what I saw, what
was explained through what was
mathematical and the complex
understanding of this marvolous universe.

I cant understand how words that are
but taken as all. Even if through nothing
is proven, people believe just words
rational thinking of contradictory thought.

Could others understand the the reason for
wanting to belive in something other than
self. Is it to put blame on something when
ourselves are to blame for right and wrong.

What happens to me once I'm gone
I will be but dust, ill not wish that
I had been some one else. Not blaming
or giving credit for something else.

*"Are actions are our own, we are responsible for
what we do as individuals and a society,