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Allyssa Mason Nov 2019
Life has become
A game of running from the past
My demons are my traumas
Always catching up so fast

Used to drown them gently
Burning liquid in my veins
Together we'd indulge ourselves
And dance without our chains

I made a promise to you back then
Before you grew your glorious wings
A promise to try to heal inside
And let go of unimportant things

My life has become
A game of running from the past
Because that's how I feel okay finally
It's the only way I'll last
bess Nov 2019
My dad taught me
how to ride my bike.

And I rode
far, far away.

I peddled away from
the screaming,
away from the fists,
and the bruises,
and harsh words.

I learned from my father
that a house is not a home.

I learned from my father
that love is not
a given.

I learned from my father
that family
is not unbreakable.
bess Nov 2019
Grief comes in waves,
lingering at the shore of my mind
before ebbing back out to sea.

There are hours before the tide
rises again.
and for those brief moments,
I am free.

I am free of loss.
I am free of pain.
I am free of the emptiness.

And then i hear something,
or see something,
or do something,
and the memories of you
come rushing back.
Francie Lynch Oct 2019
I heard a voice
call out:

Are you home?

(perhaps it came
from within)

A stranger's voice
that's called
before.

I am
insular.

I am Home!

Inside

This temple of dissipation.
Sian Rogers Oct 2019
She found him
Darkness and despair surrounding
The colour gone from his cheeks
Nothing left for him to seek
Whisky on the table
A beer in his hand
She kissed him gently
And he buried his head in the sand
neth jones Oct 2019
featherweight

with more heat than light
more feast, than a violence
we found a clamour


together

drunk tank, we tackled
battered at one and the other
we mashed in pleasing


years

we dedicated
fractured time manufactured
sot saturated


employed

misfunctional us
trussed ; brace pinned neat by the heels
whatever be, come


glitched

the floor-riding fits
upturned, revealing sickness
now observed and prone


hold hands

treated far apart
separate medical cots
in damage we bed
Jack Torrance Sep 2019
This ****’s been going on,
for far too long.
It took me talking to him,
to know something was wrong.

It started as a whisper,
so quiet and weak.
I could force it to silence,
without having to speak.

Then my mind and body,
started to waste.
He started to gorge,
and fell in love with the taste.

My slow decline,
was the foothold he needed,
and his tendrils grew,
where I didn’t know they were seeded.

His control grew bigger,
till it shadowed my mind,
and the whiskey fog I was in,
had simply turned me blind.

Then one day I was through,
enough was enough.
I was going to take control,
I had to be tough.

That was the first time,
that he spoke to me,
and that “no” was enough,
to finally make me see.

I tried and I tried,
again and again,
crying through his laughter,
trying to pour him out through a pen.

He was poison,
like a cancer you see.
He was killing us both,
but everyone just blamed me.

Then one day I realized,
I couldn’t get rid of that voice.
To do that meant death,
and that wasn’t a choice.

He’s a part of me,
but disconnected too.
A bystander to the hell,
that he’s putting me through.

Now every day is a struggle,
to quiet his voice.
Trying to convince myself,
that I do have a choice.

So he’s here to stay,
the monkey on my back.
The ominous stranger,
who calls himself, Jack.
We all have that voice, some are stronger than others.
Caitlin Sep 2019
If only daughter knew how much her mother loves her. If only mother knew how to express that to her.

If only daughter knew how much father loves her. If only he'd address that to her.

But father broke mothers’ heart in two with broken promises and bottle caps too.

A bottle for pleasure a bottle for pain, it wasn’t long before mother and father drank again.

There’s never any harm they said in just one or two. But daughter knew three and four were coming all too soon.

Daughter felt confused as to why mother would drink what split her parents in two. Would the bottle come between her and mother too?

Daughter couldn’t fathom how father could do this. The family unit daughter surely missed.

Father had been quite angry now for some time. Daughter didn’t know why he sometimes dulled her shine.

Mother was no longer sure what to do to keep her mind at peace. How would she fix the shattered heart that had broken first in two, then slowly piece by piece?

Daughter at times wondered the same, how could she make mothers heart whole again. But she lost hope for some time, had words stuck bouncing back and forth in her mind that she wanted to say so badly. She wanted to scream so loudly.

But her parents ears had been cut off by a blade of sorrow, anger and stress. Daughter began to quickly regress. Withdrawal. No binge would rid her of the pain at all, and now daughter is confused too. She often feels as if her only friends are her journal and the moon.

She tries to keep her darkness at bay, a mess at night, a peach by day. She is successful for a short time until the darkness she carried overpowered her shine and she knew this was not who she was supposed to be. How would she rediscover her divinity?

Long story short, she soul searched far and wide and began to forgive herself for letting the darkness inside.

Soon enough she forgave mother and father too and now she wishes that they knew how much she loves them too.
Mitch Prax Sep 2019
When some days
are not so bad as others
but you’re still drinking
and miserable.
The inching hatred
of who you are
but not what you’ve done-
that’s depression.
bess Sep 2019
When I was a child

I thought
all my pain
would fade away
with age.

They say,
“you once dreamed
of being where you are now.”

And I did. I prayed
for time that
would take away my hurt.
I ached for identity
in the form of adulthood.

I once dreamed
of being where I am now,
but my dreams
were nothing like
this.
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