You walked into my life
Disguised as
Liquid, pills and powder
You walked into my life
and you took
Everything

Allie I go to you when I feel alone.
I go to you when no one is home.
I hide you from my kids.
I hide you from my wife.
Just hoping one of these days,
You will take my life.
The taste of you on my lips and tongue,
Makes me forget all the wrong that I have done.
The smell of you on my breath and in the air,
Makes me wonder if I'm gone, who will care?
Allie You make me a different man.
It doesn't matter if you're from a bottle or a can.
The man I have become when it's just you and me,
Is the man I never want my family to see.
Allie I go to you when I feel alone.
Because when I'm with you I feel at home.

You were supposed to protect me
Your little girl
Your little angel
Your only child

You might've loved me
At one time
I think you ended up resenting me
But that's fine

Subjected to your selfish tirades
Put through your gruesome facades
Held up on a pedestal
Only to be pushed down
Your once endearing smile
Now causes me to frown

Everytime the bottle went up
My heart sank down
I begged you
I pleaded you
You weren't there
Not even when I needed you

Sure, you were physically there
But mentally, you were so unaware
Or maybe you were
And just didn't care

You got in your car
Went out for smokes
You were hazy
And at this point, I went crazy
Who were you to risk a life?
Not your own
But maybe somebody's wife?
Somebody's husband?
Somebody's kid?

You don't even care about your own
And I don't think you ever did

My name is Jaclyn,
and I have a drinking problem.
I am trying to find the courage,
to ask you to love me anyways.

My mom used to say,
Don't you dare put someone
through what you did to us.
You are not a good person
when you're drunk.

Yeah, I'll quit drinking..
Next weekend.
I swear, This is the last time.
But I'm sure you've heard that line.
I've worn out the meaning,
in the knees of my jeans.
Dry heaving.

She brings me a glass of water,
and all I gave her was a *******,
and a *******.
I just wanted to have fun.
At the expense of my love.

Here is my word:
I will never make
you be the girlfriend,
of a dead girlfriend.
Because we got too many
dead friends already.

This is my getting sober poem.
This is my "not passing out
in a parking lot" poem.
This is my "You gotta die
from something, but it will
not be an overdose" poem.

Please.

This is my,
"Please Love Me Through This"
poem.

With lips
Like Hershey Kisses,
So sweetly,
You draw me in.

Like honey dripping
To a fly,
You draw me in.

Like a beautiful
And smelling flower
to a bee flying free,
You draw me in.

Like a smoker
Wanting their
Nicotine,
You draw me in.

With a grin
Not unlike a
Crescent moon's,
You draw me in.

Like an alcoholic
searching for
one last drop of Gin,
You draw me in.

Like a little lamb,
Drawn to a lion
In search of a friend,
You draw me in.

I hope you have another drink
I hope it tastes as sweet as you like them
I hope it burns just the right way
I hope it makes you warm inside
I hope it keeps you happy
I hope you have another drink
I hope it tastes like the last one
I hope it burns all the same
I hope it ignites a flame inside you
I hope it keeps you sane
I hope you have another drink
I hope it tastes like hell
I hope it seeps into your bloodstream and burns your whole body
I hope the fire inside consumes you
And I hope it doesn't keep you alive

I just don’t know how to be alone.
All I find comfort in seems to be that too clear liquid
that smells
too much like rubbing alcohol,
but tastes
like relief in a bottle.
It burns down my throat
but it feels like a heaven
I didn’t have to die to get to.
It’s peace in a place of chaos.
A pool in the midst of summer’s fire.