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solfang Nov 2019
he swore that I am his world,
something you couldn't do;
he worshipped me as if I was his,
something you couldn't do;
he told me I was his sun, moon, stars
something you couldn't do;
he said he loved me and only me,
something you couldn't do;
but the one who stole my heart,
my laughter, and my love,
it was you
something he couldn't do
I hate one-sided feelings; I wish I can do something about it.
Empire Nov 2019
Trigger warning: Self harm, cutting, substance abuse


the ceaseless agony
she endures and endures and endures....
until the burdens force her knees to give
everything weighs so heavily on her
and in her desperation
what else could a suffering mind do
but frantically seek refuge
earnestly pursuing escape....

the meds aren't enough
the pain cuts through them
so she wonders....
how many could she take?
two... three little white pills?
might it help?

she knows they'd notice the missing bottles
but she longs for a heavy intoxication
a dumb bliss
a few hours of happiness
let the pain melt away
replace it with stupor

so she considers lesser options
she could binge eat for mild pleasure
intertwined with heavy guilt
she could **** herself
oh right.... she can't because of the meds
nothing else offers her any feeling
she seeks emotionally charged art
music, poetry, shows
but it's not enough
it's never enough

so, in her desperation
when all else has failed
when the agony is unbearable
no solace in sight
she opens the drawer
in the safety of her room
uncaps her tool
sterilizes the edge
sets the metal to her skin
and drags it across
'til she drips red
Cerasium Nov 2019
We'll be okay, he says
But does he really know that?
We will make it through this, he says
But how can he be certain?

He says these things
Thinking that it will make it alright
But he doesn't realize that the damage
Has already destroyed my heart.

I plead and I beg
Asking what is going on
All he says is he needs to find himself
And he has to be alone

He pushes me away
Blocking out my emotions
My love and need
I just want to help

But pushing me away
Will just cause agony
Pushing towards anger
And eventually hatred

He doesn't understand
He doesn't have to be alone
He doesn't have to face this by himself
He can have help to aid his search

But still he pushes
Pushes so hard that I break
I begin to crack
And dark thoughts pour into my head

Thoughts of pain
Sorrow and aggression
Suspicion and worry
Thoughts that I shouldn't have

Like what if he's cheating
What if I'm better of dead
What if I caused this
What if he hates me

What if he was just using me
And I finally had no more use..
What if..
What if I disappeared..

Would he even care?
Would it be enough
To snap him back
From his fantasy

And yet
I can't bring myself to leave
I can't be apart from him
He is a part of me

My other half
My missing piece
My polar opposite
My soul..
Cerasium Nov 2019
Darkness swirling
Enveloping the senses
Trapping your mind
In an empty void

Lost in thought
Never surfacing
Drowning in sorrow
Fearful of the depths

Flailing around
With no sense of direction
Losing your sanity
In the deadly chasm

Try as you might
You can't see the light
You have sunk too deep
There is no end in sight

You give in
Losing the battle
It takes hold
Ensnaring your heart

Strangling the light
That once filled your heart
Ripping away your walls
Blinding you with fright

The blackness drowns you
Ripping away at your soul
Cursed to oblivion
You accept your fate
Empire Nov 2019
I didn't mean to fall in love
Especially with you
Not like this
I can't have you
You'll never be mine
It was too good to be true
You were everything I wanted
You could've been what I needed
I wanted you with me
I wanted you forever
But it could never be
So instead we circle around
Landing blows
Our hearts aching
My world crashing down around me
And all I wanted...
I just wanted to be with you
But it can't be
So I cry and I scream
Writhing in the agony
Of falling in love
With the man
That I can't have
once upon a time,
through inhales of cigarette smoke,
grime and long gone hope,
rose a pretty little woman.

i was fortunate enough to witness this.

i witnessed the rise and fall of a soul so pure.
so purely stained by reality’s ruthless claws.
a soul so pained by the universe’s laws.

her knees? bruised, from the falls.
her eyes? dark, from the endless tearful nights.
her hair? knotted, from all the pulling her devils did.
her lips? warm, from the blood that dripped.

the red she bled accompanied by sorrow.

her voice? soft, but so immensely broken.
so fatigued and weary,
because although she doesn’t realize it,

her aura screams in tongues
of unbearable agony.

once upon a time,
we met.
through the plans of
some unknown being.

seeing how our pain had grown so similar.

and ever since we held onto each other, we haven't left.

because,
once upon a time, we suffered.
once upon a time, we were crushed by the damages done to us.
once upon a time, we were cowards and refused to face our devils.
once upon a time, we were disposable in this barren waste land.

and life isn’t a fairytale, it will continue to do it’s worst
and we’ll feel pain like no other.

but, i’d rather continue
my painful tale with her,
than without.

-melancholicreator
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Daisy Ashcroft May 2019
I have a question for you:
Do you know the brutal agony
That wrenches your heart asunder
When you have your child,
Your flesh and blood,
Torn viciously from you
As you lie helplessly in bed
Ignorant to the tormented crying of your baby?

I have a question for you:
Do you know the burning fury
That scorches and swarms in your soul
When someone you loathe
Can manipulate your every movement
As if you are a foolish juvenile?

Do you know the roaring beast of betrayal
That casts rotten, merciless shadows
Over every bleak thing
You lay your tortured, tear-pricked eyes upon?

Do you know the unrelenting guilt
That destroys every comfort you desperately seek
And drowns you in your own misery
When your entire family die
On your very conscience?

If so, then you are only
A few steps closer to
Understanding the torment
That grinds me up every night
Only to spit me out each morning
For the hell dogs I called my friends
To sniff at in disdain

You are only a few steps closer
To entering the churning,
Burning,
Thrashing
Sea that eats me whole
When the fragile walls around my happiness
Shatters into millions of pieces.

So I have a question for you:
Do you have a single clue
About the real world?
AIA Oct 2019
Do you still love me? I asked him.
"Yes."
Are you still happy with me?
"I'm not sure."
he answered.
I did not ask him the reason why *** I don't wanna get hurt more.
Dedicated to Jayvee Vallejos.
Adonis Yerasimou Oct 2019
The nights are long and dark
my tears are cold as snow
my heart's being torn apart
my soul has ceased to flow

Her words like sharpened knives
her eyes like candle flames
her smile as always hides
and brings forth thousand pains

Suffering endlessly I am
screaming at God for my mistakes
praying for change at last to come
as I am healing all of my aches

I never took us seriously
I thought of love as being a game
it all was gone so beautifully
oh baby its such a shame

This is the only thing I ask
I want your heart to just be whole
don't worry bout me I 'm in the past
I will no longer burn your soul.
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