It's strange
how childhood felt
like a train ride
that would never stop
like reading a book
with an infinite number of pages

But now you're 19-turning-twenty
and the train has finally
come to a definite stop
the tracks have changed its path
and you've reached the end
the epilogue

It's time to move on
move along and grow up
step off that train
and on to the next adventure
close that book
and start a new chapter

Be brave and brace yourself
for there is more to come
beginnings can be daunting
because it also means
saying goodbye to a life
you've lived and loved.

I feel too young
To be this old
Yet I'm too old
To feel so young.

The cheerless man walks through the crowd of nameless, shapeless faces
Moving swiftly, loud and rough, to more familiar places
He has a lot of things to do, so has no time to smile
His life is far too serious to lighten up awhile

And though he sees what’s going on, he still wears his dark coat
He turns his back upon the world and hums a weary note
He disbelieves in anarchy; he has to have routine
And in his haste to get things done, he leaves the world unseen

The cheerless man goes on and on; he never seems to stop
He knows his dedication could well help him reach the top
The cheerless man works steadily, no time for smiles or fun
He makes no space for anything; his work is never done

And every day is just the same for solemn, cheerless man
From home to work and back again to where he first began
And though the cheerless man leaves all his cheer upon the shelf
He still goes on in his small world, chuckling to himself

The flood gates open when you smell the familiar scent from your past. Remembering times that were long forgotten in the back of your mind. Every person has that one scent that instantly draws them back to a simpler, happier time. That one scent that brings forth memories that were buried deep within your subconscious, dusts them off, and lays them out in the light.

The smell of your mother’s perfume - brings you back to when she held you.
The smell of play dough - brings you back to that small seat in the classroom mashing colors together.
The smell of your house - where you instantly feel safe and can be yourself.
The smell of cut grass - shows your father pushing the heavy lawn mower as you play outside in a spring evening.
The smell rain - brings you to a moment of renewed energy and excitement for what’s to come.
The smell of smoke - reminds you of late night talks around a bonfire.
The smell of your old boyfriend’s cologne - Hits you when you pull out his sweater and remember the night he gave it to you.
The smell of wood chips - where you spent many days playing and laughing with the friends you haven’t seen for a while now.

It comes when you least expect it. These smells of nostalgia enter through your nose and hit you straight in the heart. And you can’t help the evocative smile that pulls across your face.

I wonder why I think of nothing when I am travelling...
I hear voices of people, but no sounds of my own.
No whisper, breath or heartbeat sounds,
I only dream..A dream made out of icy clouds.
And there is, I hear voice of a little girl

Nan! Nan!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana peel
Daad!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You said it...

She kept making these silly jokes and even I smiled as I heard them...
She kept asking her parents and nan to answer her 'knock in the door'.
She reminded me of someone,
As she kept annoying them more.
I blocked out for quite a while staring somewhere far,
She reminded me of someone...
I guess once I was just like her...
I was just like that girl you heard,
I was this, little, silly kid
Making jokes, laughing all day long.
Blurry face with no care at all.

What about now? Would you like to know?
I am buried now, buried in routine...
Every day's the same, passing by so fast
Yesterday was spring,
And today is gone...

What about now? You don't want to know...
You are growing old, missing out youth
Yesterday was warm, but today is snow
Every year's the same,
It fades out slow....

I really wish I was a kid again,
But, it's really shocking,
because I've waited so long to grow up.

I was so wrong to believe
that adulthood was a great place to go hiking.
I really wish I was a kid again.

However, all my goals I've yet to achieve
Make these unknown trails so very enticing,
because I've waited so long to grow up.

Even though I was incredibly naive,
If I said I wouldn't go back, even for a day, I'd be lying.
I really wish I was a kid again.

Time is a **** in a band of thieves,
Who always stole, but I was never crying,
because I've waited so long to grow up.

Aging is a quilt some will never want to weave,
But I want to make more than one. Honestly,
I really wish I was a kid again,
because I've waited so long to grow up.

loving you in twelve year old cars
soft kisses in the front seats
a dent in the passenger side door
your backpack in the back seat

paint lingering underneath fingernails
achy joints
i love art
does art love me?

my friends are all ghosts
i see them
we laugh and we love
illusions shatter after too long

i drive you home at 1 AM
i can barely keep my eyes open on the way home
your love is thrumming through my body
and my gaslight is on

i get a little bit reckless when i’m on the road alone
breathing is just easier with one hand on the steering wheel
in, out. in, out.
this year is hard

i’m up to my neck in responsibilities
is this what growing up is like?
i want to sit down
close my eyes

planes fly above me and i feel a sense of longing
i’m already made of metal
wind me up and watch me go
i’m ready to fly

i have never felt heavier
my head weighs a ton and my neck is made of straw
i want to live in between the bricks
i want to go home

TAG YOU'RE IT is what we use to scream
Chasing one another around in our innocent whimsical ways
As our minds became consumed with Adrenalin and endorphins
We felt free while our lungs begged for mercy
Just keep moving is what we believed

Until we grew older we no longer play the same way
Nowadays we play this silly game over social media and texting
As our minds became consumed with perfection and depression
We feel paralyzed while we wait to get another text or like to portray our perfection to battle the feeling of loneliness
Just keep to yourself is what we tell ourselves
Because you wont get hurt that way is what we believe