My body begged me
to death,
Please oh, please oh.

Just give me what I need
What I feel for..
A fix for this disease
I just need more.

By the time you open
Up those eyes and see the clock.  
See it's been ticking
longer then you ever Thought.

No I'm not joking
I'm for real this time,
I'm really gonna stop.

Hold on,  wait,  I'm choking
On all my words,
They're harsher then I thought.

The fear ignites me down to the bone.
His cackling echoing up the stairs,
Bouncing off every wall.
The fire begins to creep up to our second floor,
Devouring everything in its path.

I wake up, panic dripping out of every pore.
Panic turns into rage.
Ten years, and the past still eats me alive.
What do I have left that you haven't already destroyed?
What do I have left that you haven't already taken?

You call seeking pity and forgiveness, where there is none to be found.
I choke back a sob, knowing they will take you again.

Why did you have to sell your soul?
Why did the demons come knocking for you?
A son, a husband, a father.

You never realize what price you'll have to pay,
To take what the demons have to offer.
Have they lived up to their promises?

The demons have set fire to your soul.
And when you finally realize that,
You will no longer be a son, a husband, or a father.
It will be too late, because the demons have taken over.

15 steps until I hit the front door.
15 steps until I wrap my arms around you.
15 steps until I breathe in the smell of cigarettes and diesel fuel.

Waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of chocolate banana milkshakes being made.
Sitting on the dining room chair with his headphones falling off my head.

15 steps is all it takes to run out the front door, just the clothes on our back.
15 steps trembling in fear.
15 steps of my heart beating out of my chest.

Waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of screams.
Sitting in the passenger seat of the SUV, not knowing who's house we would be sleeping at that night.

The many years of sleepless nights and tears.
The many years of broken promises and nightmares.
But I will always remember those 15 steps of excitement, hope, chaos and terror.

Maybe one day you will remember late night milkshakes.
Maybe one day you will remember not knowing where your family was on those nights.

Maybe one day, you will remember how to be a Dad.

He is an addict
Pain on others he never sought to inflict
He was only looking for a way out
And this was just another bout
Of self hatred and doubt

He took the drugs to ease the pain
He took the durgs to ease the strain
He took the drugs to try to stay sane
In he's place I might have done the same

In the midst of all the carnage
You'll find him there spoon and rig
As he cooks it down
A slight quickened breath is the only sound
Eyes wide and bright with the thought of relief
With hurried thoughts of release

He thumps his arm to find the vein
It's the path straight to the brain
With that needle the monsters of the past are slain

But other monsters soon are made
They are just a diffrent shade
For the candle and the spoon
With the needle creates an awful hewn
The tracks are laid
No one can save
There is no way
So I just pray
I'll never turn my back to a friend
Even when his given in

When we met I didn't know
You had a dark secret
One that would effect my soul
And break my heart
That would change my life
You showed me things I never dreamed of
I was there when you continued down a dark road
I watched you destroy yourself
I felt my heart break every time you chose it over me
I struggled with wether I should let you go
I needed you And you needed me
But there was something else
You thought you needed more

The day I took *******
It felt like a glorious game.
The day I took *******
I thought I had slain
A dragon.
The day I took *******
It felt like a glorious game.
The day I took *******
I felt the pain
Of a gun.
The day I took *******
It felt like a glorious game.
The day I took *******
The walls I did stain
With blood.
The day I took *******.
It felt like a glorious game.
It wasn't.

a tab, a hit, a smoke,
lets roll, lets drink, lets ****.

my pupils shrink, and then dilate
another line confirms my fate

such pure, unprecedented ecstasy
takes all my pain away from me

a tab, a hit, a pill,
a smoke, a dab, a thrill.

no judgement, fear, regret,
as we make another bet,

i can take another dab
if you can take another tab.

too much, its done, too late
the addict has found her mate.