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Maddie Rea May 6
Frustration eating my insides never again will I feel you

Always accompanying me through everything always by my side

Thick and thin but now I’m to think to even let you in and if by chance you allow me that bliss

You **** back, my eyes close anticipating your hit but it never comes

Allowing myself to be consumed by the anger of the blow, lingering, never able to feel your pain

My adrenaline swells bring out the rage in me

Can’t confide in anyone because they could never understand and when they can fathom it goes ignored

My pain, anger, and rage makes them mad at me and only because I can’t obtain your beautiful pain; **** your excuses it’s not like you can just leave, it would only tear me apart

Whatever the debt I will pay even if it leaves everyone in pain
The ocean crashes; waves above shore
Its peace, beauty, excitement & freedom in one
Water foams with the angry thrusts
Generate a swirling tunnel
Pulling me into its wide open gullet
Now mystified at all its power and allure
Maddie Rea Mar 23
Walking the ally at night looking for a fight
No weapon just my fist and the starry sky
****** broken and bruised I'm still searching for you
My thoughts racing and chasing  my dream vacant
Craving that rush never forgetting the numbing bliss

Is this all life has to offer  needing more
Just want to feel human but i don't even know what that is
Behold the beautiful tragedy repeating the fantasy
Fill up the cracks paint the walls but it is still compromised
Where are the tanks prepared to create dust and rubble

Hearts as pure as gold full of good intentions
Tapping me on the shoulder they say don't look over
Wizardry trickery I assume he just wants to tame me
But looking back I trip on a crack in the sidewalk
Thoughts always leaving me always consuming me

Head held high you got this you'll be alright
My jacket zipped up tight
The pressure of anxiety clawing at my insides
Always walking eyes only watching my feet faster and faster

Unbearable without your touch finding your love
With anyone's company wish i could go back again
When you still showed love to me still caressing me
Unfinished thoughts if only you truly loved me
Why would you keep me chained and tied  no goodbyes
Your gonna leave me to rot and die
*You're only temporary.. *
Makenzee Sep 2017
mother spills lies from her wine stained lips; the ones that I used to kiss goodnight.
"I love you," she says, but she'll do it again.
she'll shatter my heart and walk upon the broken glass, ****** feet and wondering where she had deceived me; but she's only deceived herself by shooting up another time.
going to drug deals at only age five, I grew up too fast and there's a world of chaos inside my mind.
the pain lashes out on me like I've been hit on the skin with a rubber band.
my toes sink in the sand and I stare into the ocean of the disease, she's drowning in the water but she knows how to swim.
Pauline Russell Jun 2016
He is an addict
Pain on others he never sought to inflict
He was only looking for a way out
And this was just another bout
Of self hatred and doubt

He took the drugs to ease the pain
He took the durgs to ease the strain
He took the drugs to try to stay sane
In he's place I might have done the same

In the midst of all the carnage
You'll find him there spoon and rig
As he cooks it down
A slight quickened breath is the only sound
Eyes wide and bright with the thought of relief
With hurried thoughts of release

He thumps his arm to find the vein
It's the path straight to the brain
With that needle the monsters of the past are slain

But other monsters soon are made
They are just a diffrent shade
For the candle and the spoon
With the needle creates an awful hewn
The tracks are laid
No one can save
There is no way
So I just pray
I'll never turn my back to a friend
Even when his given in
Tiberius Jul 2015
Did you know
That life would end like this?
Did you know
You were killing yourself ever so slowly?
Did you know
We all knew your pain you couldn't even see?
Did you know
in the last moments of silence
the pain you'd leave
Did you know
you where going to die that night, as you slowly lost control
Did you ever see
your choices weren't killing just you, but also me?
Did you know,
you where a brother to me?
Did you know
as we lowered you into the ground that that night was the last you'd see?
saranade Apr 2015
My creativity has created this creation.
The outcome of my creation reflects only to the Creator.
The inner Narrator narrates a repetitive monologue.
Believe me, I've seen the films, and I've read that ******* blog.
Long logging of nights.
Internal.
External.
Fights.
Anger lasts.
I employed that past to take power away from fear.
Aware now of being here.
Consciousness.
Humbleness.
This doesn't come from admission.
Remission of a previous mission.
My dispositions constriction from speaking up.
**** that.
That cup.
That rig.
Spoon.
***.
Drug.
Love is what I need.
Love is what I give.
Creating only a creation to love to live.
creating the existence I am in and changing it for nothing

— The End —